


Who Deceives You

by Illusionna, Lydjachan



Series: Nurturing Flame [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Doctor/Patient, Family Drama, Female Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy, Religious Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 52,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8847709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusionna/pseuds/Illusionna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lydjachan/pseuds/Lydjachan
Summary: The Phoenix opens her home to Eliza and the friendship between them blooms, but when life changing events start to unfold they have to decide just how entangled their lives should become. Sequel to "Of Healing & Hearts"





	1. Chapter 1

**Who has deceived thee so often as thyself?** ~ _Benjamin Franklin_

* * *

The sun, high in the sky, shone down on the little medicinal garden in the Haunted Warehouse District of NYC. Toward the far side of the garden, The Phoenix was pulling up weeds from her catmint patch. While the dark green, tall stalked plants were thriving in the spring weather, so were the little seeds of all the other plants that had found their way into the patch of mint. Her fingers snaked between the mint stalks, and pulled up the little interlopers that had dared to germinate in the wrong place.

It had been a long time since she had had a medical problem to think about, and she found the idea extremely exciting. She had to start from ground zero, just as she had to do when the children were small, and she'd forgotten how much she enjoyed it. It was like a treasure hunt, having to take the clues she was given find the X that marked the spot.

To recreate a treasure map, she had taken a trip to the main library, to find a book on mustelid physiology to borrow. Granted the borrowing was done under the counter, and she had no intention of returning the book until she was completely done with it, which was probably more than the three weeks that the city wanted one to keep a book, but she had only borrowed it. It was a deeply veterinarian text, and she enjoyed the new and unfamiliar words, the delving into the latin prefixes, roots, and suffixes of the language of medicine, the gathering of new information about the reproductive cycles of ferrets and their close relatives. But what she enjoyed the most was having to figure out that plant equivalent of the medicines that were described in the book. That, alone, was worth the treasure hunt, even if she was doing the hunting for nothing.

Eliza had not come to visit her, but it had not been more than the promised week yet. Phoenix found herself looking forward to the ferret coming to her house, she could show off her living space to someone new. Then she would be gripped with doubt, was giving the ferret woman her place of residence a good idea? Too late now, she would say to herself, and take a deep breath to bring calm. _She might not even come, the conversation in her head would go, you may very well never see her again._ The ferret mutant would not be the first that the Phoenix had only dealt with once, never to hear from them again.

Until Eliza came to her, or the unbidden thought lead Phoenix to her, she would wait patiently, tend her garden, and translate the chemical compounds in medicinal formula to their plant counterparts to the best of her ability.

* * *

It was rare as of late that things fell into place for Eliza, but the past week had gone swimmingly. With a few well placed suggestions of a group outing and a rather convenient fainting spell on her part, she had been left her alone in the lair. Free to come and go as she pleased for the three days.

She made a point of seeing everyone off. She assured Donnie once again that she wasn't mad and that she would be fine with some rest. She wished Leo luck on the training exercises and asked Raph to keep an eye on his orange banded brother, who was likely to drag Gwyn along in his attempts at mischief. Eliza warmly accepted a friendly squeeze from Mikey, touching her nose to the top of his head in a ferrity kiss, asking him to remember that Gwyn had just healed from a scraped knee and she would appreciate if her daughter were to return in one piece.

To April she passed along a few last minute tips in case Gwyn acted up but overall she was not particularly concerned. April had proven herself level-headed and competent. Gwyn was independent enough that she only needed guidance and light supervision. The fact that she was enamored with April, seeing her as an big sister figure, would make her more complaint to the older girl's suggestions. Her daughter ran up to them just as she finished giving the teen a furry hug.

"Can we go already?" The young girl's enthusiasm to leave only tweaked a little bit of motherly jealousy, she was used to her daughter's attitude. Eliza knew that Gwynevere's desire to embrace a new adventure did not equate to leaving her mother behind.

"Not till I get my snugs!" The ferret mom declared loudly and true to form her daughter lit up at the open invitation and threw herself into her parent's arms. The hugged, squeezed and giggled till an impatient cough sounded and they broke apart reluctantly. "Now promise you'll behave and listen to April. If anything happens just call me. April and Donnie have my number programmed. Kay?"

"Kay!" Gwyn gave one last squeeze before running off and taking a flying leap onto the back of Mikey's shell. He just laughed and sprinted towards the Shellraiser with his piggybacked passenger.

"You seem more energetic today Mrs. VonHertz." She turned her head towards Splinter and blinked slowly. "Are you sure you will not join us?"

She was about to answer for herself when Donnie jumped to her aid. "No Sensei. I really think she should rest. Though she's mostly recovered from the blood loss by now, Mrs. V would be better here than camping out with us in the lower tunnels." The teen gave her an apologetic glance.

"Thank you for your concern and I think the quiet time will be nice." She tipped her head towards Splinter "I do thank you for still allowing Gwyn to go with you though." She gave him a small smile. He gave her a final appraising look before nodding in return and exiting the lair towards the awaiting vehicle. She followed them to the platform and waved till they rounded the bend before returning to her room to change clothes and fill her backpack. She paused to make herself a ham sandwich and grab a bottle of water before leaving on her own adventure.

Several hours later she emerged from the sewers for the final time. She had come up several times, always with care as the day grew increasingly brighter, to double check her location. Finally towards midday she confirmed that she was indeed in the haunted warehouse district and emerged cautiously to find the streets were indeed abandoned.

She had dressed cautiously, large palazzo pants that covered her altered legs and feet, which were stuffed into her latest attempt at footwear. She also wore a long sleeved flowing red top with a low scooped neck with a silky paisley patterned scarf. She completed the ensemble with a wide brimmed sunhat with black veiled lace overtop. It was an odd cross between arab garb and flamenco dancer, but the best she could do for a surface disguise. It was another half hour before she tracked down the wall of ivory and by this point she was ready to declare her latest attempt at shoes a failure.

She stood for a moment in front of the abundance of green, unsure of how to proceed. The warehouse on the left looked just as empty from the outside as did all the others she had passed in getting there. Still if it was Phoenix's home she would hate to just barge in, invited or not.

Having no decent solution she started walking along the wall towards the left and calling out. "Helloo? Heeellllooooo? It's me. Eliza." she felt ridiculous but hoped that the heads up would be enough of a warning by the time she found an entrance and made her way inside. "Hello. I came. You said I could. Heeellllooooo."

* * *

The Phoenix sat in the middle of the of her living space, surrounded by the newly harvested leaves of several spring plants. She pulled them off the stalks, one by one, taking any leaves that did not look as good as she wished them off of the stalk and into a bucket to be deposited in the compost pile. The ones that were to be set out for drying were laid on flat trays, not quite touching each other, to be slid into the dehydrator that she had built for herself years and years ago. The search for the materials had been an excursion in and of itself, a blessing to pass the time in a way other than wrangling four small mutant children around a barely furnished warehouse floor. Made out of an refridgerator, which she'd hauled up to the fourth floor through a window with a pulley made from an old car wheel, it still worked beautifully, if rather ugly.

"Helloo?" she heard drift through the open garden window. "Heeelllllooooo?"

She leapt up and jumped over the plants that surrounded her, passed the kitchen counter and table, sidestepping a chair that had not been pushed in from breakfast, to pop her head out of the garden window. "Eliza!" she called. "You came!"

Then she caught sight of her, and had to stifle a laugh. It came out a giggle, and she hoped it could be conveyed as being her happiness to see the mutant. _Oh my goodness_ , she thought merrily. She was wearing a disguise! It was an inventive disguise. She looked like something out of a comedy movie, with a black veiled hat the hide her ferrety face, only the veil stuck out every so slightly because of her muzzle. Her clothes might have had her pass for human, especially in a place as large as NYC. But what tickled Phoenix the most were the contraptions on her feet. She was trying to wear shoes. She looked so much better in the shirt and skirt she was wearing when they first met, it fit her frame very well, looking very attractive on her body type, whereas this outfit was...not quite so attractive.

Smiling from ear to ear, she said, "Come on up, the front door is right over there!" She pointed to the left, where the main doors of the warehouse, two great steel contraptions made for keeping people and merchandize in. She then ran to the stairs on the other side of the warehouse floor, and flew down the five flights to meet Eliza in the dirty and abandoned looking bottom floor.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly shy and feeling rather foolish for her excitement. She bounced on her toes to expend some energy, and then motioned to Eliza's rather bright and form covering dress. Compared to Phoenix's fitting tshirt and jeans, Eliza was quite bright, indeed. "You didn't have to do that," she said. "There aren't any humans around here except at Halloween. It's a long way off from Halloween."

Then she laughed, as if she'd told herself a joke, and asked, "Did you have a hard time finding us?"

* * *

Eliza looked up and waved as she saw Phoenix hanging out of an upper window. Following her instructions Eliza quickly found the entrance and opened it just enough to allow herself passage before closing it behind her. Turning she scanned the empty space, almost exactly as she had expected it to be and found Phoenix waving her over to where she waited at the base of a flight of stairs.

She was so happy to see the healer again, if her tail wasn't confined down her left pant leg she could almost imagine it would be flailing around behind her with the excess of joy she felt. As she made her way to her she could almost feel the abundance of energy that was rolling off of the older woman. She slowed to stop a couple of feet away, laughing when the Phoenix commented that Eliza's disguise wasn't necessary. She took off the headgear and scarf, holding them in one hand while she administered a much needed scratch behind the ears with the other.

"Well, that is what you said." Shook out her head and shoulders briefly before giving the healer a broad smile.

"But I figured you can never be too careful. I've made a couple wrong turns in my day and it was better to be prepared. Besides," he ferret-woman shrugged her shoulders and made a gesture with both hands to indicate her clothed frame. "it's NYC. I KNOW I've seen stranger things than this get-up." Eliza tucked her free thumb under the strap of her backpack and adjusted the weight slightly before answering the second question. "It took me longer that I had hoped, but I did end up backtracking twice. It should be a lot faster on the way home."

Eliza couldn't help smiling. In a way her trek here had been the most liberating thing she'd done in a long time. At the lair she had plenty of time to be creative and work on whatever project struck her fancy. She had lessons with Gwyn and cooked and cleaned and sewed and read. But it all eventually became monotonous without the simple luxury of a change in scenery. In prep for today she'd taken to going on longer walks, just to accustom the others to the fact that she wouldn't always be in the lair. But she usually had Gwyn with her, and the one time she'd decided to venture out late at night, while her daughter slept, Splinter had intercepted her departure and invited himself to accompany her.

Looking around she took in the scale of the building and had to admire the expanse of it, and this was only the ground floor. The window welcome indicated that Phoenix made use of the other stories as well. She chuckled good naturedly. "I've seen your children, it shouldn't surprise me that you have a home to match them in scale."


	2. Chapter 2

Phoenix nodded, her long, loose hair bouncing at the ends in waves near her hips, at Eliza’s explanation of her outfit, it was NYC, and Phoenix herself had seen get ups much more...interesting...than what Eliza was wearing now.  She recalled Aries and Medusa telling her of their outing in the fancy car, where a car full of humans thought they were dressed up for a costume party.  People may have thought the same thing if they saw the ferret-woman.  However, she wasn’t in a car with her elbow hanging out of the window.  She scratched herself behind her ears, where the hat had pushed down her fur, and Phoenix was happy to see a genuine smile on the ferret’s face, her lips pulled back, her fangs showing, her eyes squinted in pleasure.  Eliza was happy to see her!  Still feeling shy and foolish for her girlish excitement, and then foolish for feeling foolish, she felt her cheeks flushing, and she bounced on her toes once more.  It was like having a friend come over to play when she was younger, someone whom she hadn’t seen in a long time, but had greatly enjoyed the company of.  Had it been that long since she’d been excited about a person?  Had it been that long since she’d had that kind of connection with a person?

As she’d discussed with Arcos, something was different about Eliza than any other mutant she’d met.  Perhaps because, even in their short acquaintance, she had been able to discern so many parallels between the two of them, more similarities than she’d had with anyone in her entire time in this life.  She’d meditated on it, something she only did when an issue would not leave her conscious mind in peace, more in an attempt to make the entire idea burst from her  subconscious to get an answer, rather than waiting for little thoughts to bubble up to niggle at her like a mosquito bite that wouldn’t stop itching.  They were both female, and both not young adults.  They were both mothers, something so rare in the mutant world that she’d not knowingly encountered any.  Eliza was smart, and witty.  But there was something else about her, that made her excited to see her, but she had not yet been able to put her finger on what it was.

She gestured dismissively at Eliza’s comment of her abode.  She never thought of it as large, she mainly thought of the top floor as their home, and the rest of the building as a type of adjunct space.  Their use of it had grown slowly over the years, as their desire of spaces outgrew the top floor or were not suitable for a living space.  “We don’t use the whole thing,” she said.  “We only use the top two floors.  The bottom three are empty.  The kids use the back of the first floor to work on cars and things,” she gestured behind her, unseen through the wall of the entryway.  She gestured for Eliza to follow her up the stairs.  “And the fourth floor is the workshop, where everyone has their little spaces.  We live on the top floor.”  She chuckled.  “And the garden, behind the ivy wall.”  She began to ascend the staircase, “C’mon, and I’ll show you.”

The stairs opened up into each of the floors, all undivided spaces, huge rooms that took up the entirety of the warehouse floor, save for the first floor.  The second and third floor were empty of anything, looking a little too clean to be abandoned, but too abandoned to be occupied even occasionally.  The fourth floor opened up to a wide open space, columns punctuating the room every so often to support the building.  While there were no walls, it was clearly set up into different areas, a place that resembled a woodshop, a metal workshop, and an artist’s studio.  It took up nowhere near the entire floor.  At the back of the floor, was an old refrigerator that was now a dehydrator, along with herbs in various stages of being turned into medicines.

Phoenix motioned dramatically and said, “The not-living floor!”

 

* * *

 

Eliza followed Phoenix as she bounced up the stairs. The next two floors were empty and expansive, obviously unused but in better condition than the ground floor. The fourth floor was just as expansive but the difference was monumental. Though there was still the plenty of empty space the signs of activity in the separate areas seemed to fill the room past their defined borders. She had to laugh at the Phoenix's title for the floor. "I don't know, this looks like living to me!" She looked and smiled at the healer, happy to find that Phoenix seemed just as happy as the ferret to be in each other's company.  


As if she was drawn by an invisible force, Eliza moved past the landing and deeper into the space. The different areas were spread before her like a final showcase on a gameshow and she was hard-pressed to choose just one to focus on. As she traversed the room and took in the sights and smells she became more and more delighted. From the way the spaces were organized it was easy to tell that they were mainly occupied by different people.

Phoenix mentioned that the children worked on cars on the first floor and she could see evidence of mechanical parts being constructed or restored. She admired the skill involved, not one that she had or was interested in pursuing, but commendable for the effort required. The beautifully carved wood pieces however, instantly caught her eye and the aroma of cedar shavings hit her with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. She inhaled deeply, claiming the sensation for later reflection but choose to move on rather than dwell.  

She wondered which of the children claimed these talents, and found that she really couldn't make any assumptions on the matter. Medusa had nimble slender fingers and the intricacy of some of the half-finished wood pieces seemed to have required a very delicate touch. But she knew from experience that those who grew up in these unique bodies found ways to adapt beyond her current ability to do so. Donnie had large thick digits but she had seen him solder the most intricate circuit boards with a precision she would have never been able to accomplish even when she had all ten digits.

The ferret-woman continued to pace slowly as she scanned the treasures of the room but in front of the area that was set up as a art studio she had to stop. With almost a sense of timidness, reluctant to invade someone else's territory, she moved deeper into the space. On an easel was a stunning rendition of a sunrise, the piece still in progress, apparent by the foreground buildings that were framed in but not yet fully realized. What caught her was the use of color in the warm background, yet there was a sense of melancholy not often present in a dawn painting. In the past she had seen the sunrise as bright and full of hope, but here the shadows it cast seemed almost ominous. Her reaction to the imagery was so strong she had to pause and take a breath to recenter herself.

With a feeling of reverence she lifted her pointer finger to trace the bold strokes of the painting in the air without actually touching the canvas. She looked at Phoenix and asked with awe in her voice as her face relaxed into soft curves. "This... this is beautiful. Who painted it?"

 

* * *

 

Phoenix watched proudly as Eliza drifted onto the floor, her legs flittering slightly as she walked.  Seeing her from behind, Phoenix could see the slight slump to her shoulders, a posture many mutants, both of her sons included, found most comfortable when walking up on two legs.  She had noticed many years ago, that it almost always indicated an adept ability to be quadrupedal, and she remember Eliza shaking on all fours at their last meeting.  The ferret mutant took in the room, almost like a soaking, looking at each place slowly and carefully.   Phoenix rarely took pride in her home, in fact, she had work to take pride in it.  She was satisfied with it, it was a good home, she’d made it cozy and livable, even if it had taken five of them and twenty years to do it.  They were homeless, for lack of a better term, and they lived better than some people on the bottom of the poverty level.  These were things Phoenix had to remind herself of on a regular basis, but today, seeing Eliza circulate the room, pride welled up her small breast.  Not everyone had a workshop, a thought she had also reminded herself of often in attempt to soothe her sometimes discontented heart, and here was someone admiring her family’s.  


Eliza stopped at  Arcos’ easel, and took a breath in.   The ferret woman turned to her, her face full of wonder, “This...this is beautiful.  Who painted it?”

Phoenix walked over to the easel, she had not seen her son’s latest work.  He had started on it only a few days ago, and she’d not been in his studio during that time.  As she came over she said, “Arcos painted it, the studio belongs to him.”  As she entered the space, she gestured widely to encompass it.  “He uses all kind of media.”  She came to stand in front of the painting, a classic Arcos, his style of bold, colorful strokes. It was a sunrise in front of the city, casting long, dark shadows in front of the buildings it rose behind.  The front of the picture, gradually darker in the foreground, as the shadows lengthened gave her a feeling of foreboding.  Her son’s ability with paints and clay had always amazed her, even when he was little, copying Bob Ross each day.  He was a wonderful artist, and it pulled at her heart sometimes that he could not share his art with the world properly and openly.  She admired it for a moment before saying, “He is very good,” as if his painting was not proof enough of the fact.

 

* * *

 

She had seen plenty of sunrises in her lifetime, emerging from the ocean, spreading across the broad plains, peaking through lush foliage and cresting over mountain ranges, she always basked in them. Thankful for the moment of quiet reflection and opportunity to count her blessings, even when those first rays glistened off of graveside tears. Eliza was not an expert on New York’s rooftop vistas, but the one depicted in Acros' painting reminded her very much of one of the few she had experienced. Of a sunrise just months ago when, wrapped in a blanket that was not her own, looking out on a city she was a stranger to, her morning reflections were full of regret and the coming dawn meant facing responsibilities that she had lost sight of in the night. It was the last glowing golden horizon she had witnessed with human eyes.  


"Yes. Yes he is." She straightened up and shut down the memories that wanted to claw at her. Focusing instead on the technique of the artist rather than emotions it pulled out of her. "A very distinct viewpoint with bold palette choices. Emotional but with a solid grasp of the fundamentals." She saw the healer's look of interest at her commentary and decided to give some context. "My grandmother painted portraits, she died before I was born but mother had several in our home and we would often go to exhibits together. It think it was a way to bridge the gap, mom was always doodling though she never had the time or space for more." She gave Phoenix a mischievous half smile. "Unfortunately, the talent skipped over me and most of my appreciation comes from a deep well of jealousy." She gave a wink. "Regardless, your son definitely has new admirer."

After a final glance around the studio Eliza turned in the direction of the one area she had not yet examined. Lifting her snout slightly she inhaled and let the scent of herbs wash over her. "Well, it's fairly obvious which area is yours."

She walked towards the back end of the floor and was impressed by the sheer amount of material being prepared. Taking time to look over the space with curiosity and trying to associate the many smells with their physical appearance. Though moving closer to the more pungent aromas may have been a miscalculation. Her nose started to twitch and though she was able to control the urge several times eventually she erupted into a series of powerful sneezes.

She ended up burying her muzzle into her bundle of hat, veil and scarf till she got the fit under control. "Ohh... uhh... that hurt." She looked at the healer sheepishly. "Heheh... Sorry. Excuse me."


	3. Chapter 3

“No need to be sorry,” Phoenix said, getting the laughing she was experiencing at Eliza’s sneezing under control.  The ferret woman the same kind of sneeze as all muzzled animals, short, cute, and to the point.  Phoenix had always liked those kinds of sneezes, especially with her own being very human.

She had been slightly surprised at Eliza’s knowledge of painting technique.  She herself had grown up with little knowledge of the language of the arts, only that which had to be learned in order to graduate high school.  Oh, she had been to museums, she did live only a train ride from NYC, after all, even if it was  very long train ride, and it was important to have enough culture to speak to her father’s business clients when they came over for dinner and it was her turn to be shown off.  But painting did not give one an advantage in a gymnastics competition, and therefore was given little attention by her or anyone else in her immediate surroundings. So like Eliza, her own knowledge came mostly second hand through Arcos’ many days of watching PBS tutorials.

“This is my area,” she continued, looking around as if she hadn’t seen it in a while.  The table was strewn with dried herbs, just come off of the racks from the dryer.  Jars of various mixtures lay on the shelves of the bookshelf next to it, some in little jars, some in giant picnic sized jars.  In them were various concoctions of leaves, roots, and fruits.  Some were very colorful, a bright palette like Arcos’ paintings.  Others a dull green-brown.  “It tends to be more of a storage area than a workplace,” she admitted.  “I like working upstairs better if it is going to take me a while.”

“This is my dehydrator,” she gestured to the avocado, rusted fridge.  She’d never been able to show it off before, not to someone who acted interested.  She tried with several of the Grey Cats, but they did not have enough manners to act like they were interested when they were not. Simply the fact that Eliza acted as if she cared, if not for its own sake, then for the sake of the carer.  She opened it up, a blast of warm air gushing out of it, to show that each of the holes on the sides of it were pegged, to make small shelves, and the shelves themselves were screens made from thin wood and salvaged window screening.  At the bottom of the fridge was a heater from the interior of a crockpot.  “I was able to get things made a lot faster once I had this rigged.”  She looked about her proudly, “It takes only a few days for wettest stuff, a few hours for the dryer things.  It used to take a week or two when I hung stuff from the ceiling.”

 

* * *

 

After recovering from her bout of sneezing Eliza smiled even more to hear the sound of Phoenix's dying laughter. It was still off-putting, in a nice way, how comfortable she felt in the little human's presence. It was almost as if the mutation had never happened and she felt more like her old self, yet at the same time Phoenix was entirely at ease with her ferrity habits and mannerisms. In fact the healer seemed to have a way of drawing them out of her once Eliza realized there was no fear of rejection at expressing them. The overall effect surrounded Eliza with a sense of warm all encompassing acceptance, like being wrapped in a sheet fresh from the dryer.

She followed close behind as the Phoenix explained her process and equipment. Leaning in close overtop of the smaller woman's shoulder to get a better view of the inner workings of the dehydrator. "Very impressive!!" Her enthusiasm was not feigned. She had once considered buying a small kitchen version for making fruit chips and jerky and had second thought the idea after seeing the price. A unit capable of processing this about material would have cost hundreds and the fact that she did it with used parts and redneck engineering was more than admirable. "Do you use it for foodstuffs too or is it strictly for medicinal?"

She looked around the space again, trying to make some quantifying estimates and utterly failing. "Speaking of medicine, and don't get me wrong, I for one am extremely grateful for your talents, but just how many mutants are you doctor to?" She backed up to give the healer her personal space and waved at the various supplies.

"This seems like a lot for just your family and the occasional alleyway find." A small snicker escaped and she hoped the healer would take her comments in good nature. "Not that I expected you to myself or anything but am I going to have to make an appointment during regular office hours next time?"

 

* * *

 

Phoenix closed the door to the refrigerator, the heat from the element inside of it still lingering around them and said, “I do dry foodstuffs too.  We forage for things when they are in season, you would be surprised at the number of wild places there is in the city where food is growing.  Sometimes were lucky enough to find things out shopping.   If we get a bumper crop, or we’re just plain tired of eating it, I’ll dry it.  We don’t usually have a lot left over of fruits or vegetables, but I spices and things.”  She was so pleased that someone was asking her life, about what she did with it and how she did it.  No one had ever asked before, and that part of her that still resided in her old life, before she died, was proud of how inventive she was when necessity called it.  Of course, the old batch of Mother Earth News magazines she found in a dump all those years ago helped tremendously.

“I help dozens of mutants,” she answered Eliza’s question about the quantity of her medicinal supplies.  “There are quite a few that are roaming alleyways at night.  Stories of monsters in the dark come from somewhere,”she was sorry she said it as soon as it came out of her mouth.   While she might be able to have a conversation about monsters with a Grey Cat, or her kids, her previous conversation with Eliza, about being THIS, gave her the thought that she wasn’t ready for this kind of joke.  She regarded the ferret mutant to see how she would respond to the comment, and went on.  “And I have a group of mutants who I am close with,” she said.  “When something goes around, they all tend to get it.  Or, if someone gets hurt in a fight,” she sighed, again, not the right thing to say, “I have to have a certain amount of the right kind of herbs on hand.”

She put her hand up though, and gave a deprecating chuckle, hopefully in a reassuring manner.  She was doing an awful lot of reassuring with Eliza, she noticed, and had not yet decided how much of it was too much.  She knew that sometimes people got annoyed at her exuberance, at her attempts to make a patient comfortable, and having someone in her home was making her inclination more so.  “You don’t have to make an appointment, unless you want a standing appointment.  But any time during the day, usually, I’m at home.  And if you need to find me at night, you’ll find me in an alley.”  Her smile turned to a knowing one, the unbidden thought had never lead her astray, save the one time she was told to consider the floor during her fight with the turtle Raph.  Every other instance in her life, when she had listened, the situation turned out.

 

* * *

 

Eliza was interested to hear about how the healer had provided for her family. It was impressive that she had been able to keep food on the table, if her children were at this size in their 20’s she could only imagine how ravenous they had been as teenagers. She also made a mental note of some of the things that Phoenix listed off, what they didn’t have in surplus. As for the moment she was glad of the few things she had already brought and hoped that it would made a dent towards their next shopping endeavor. She smiled at the thought as she continued to listen politely as the other woman answered her questions.

Despite knowing that the Phoenix meant no harm, Eliza couldn’t help the tightening of her lips as her eyes widened ever so slightly at the use of the word ‘monster’. It shouldn’t bother her, she’d thought worse, said worse, but somehow she was unprepared for the sting she felt hearing the phrase come from the other woman. Phoenix was a mother and healer of mutants for decades now, maybe time took away the harm of such phrases. They had new meaning to her now, maybe in time it wouldn’t bother her either. She prayed she wouldn’t be a mutant long enough for that to happen.

Still, the more disturbing realization was that this world she had fallen into was indeed a violent one. She was initially intrigued by the idea of another group of mutants to talk to, but if they got into fights, she was having second thoughts. Especially if these fights were of such a dangerous nature often enough that their healer had to have large amounts of herbal aids on hand just in case, she doubted that they were the type of people she would want to spend too much time with.   She was not a fighter in the physical sense, though even she had to admit that her tendency to want to express her temper with more than words had increased significantly since her mutation. Maybe it was all part of being a monster and she shouldn’t judge so quickly.

“I’m sure they are very grateful to have you, as am I” Eliza put her hand over her heart and nodded her head respectfully. “It’s nice to know that I’ll be able to find you if I need you. But as for a standing appointment,” she straightened and gave a semi-wilted half smile. “let’s wait and see if it’s necessary first.” Unconsciously Eliza brought both hands in front of her to grasp her accessories, hiding her torso behind them.


	4. Chapter 4

Phoenix shook her head, and clicked her tongue, and reached out her hand to touch Eliza’s upper arm.  She could tell by her body language she’d offended her, the woman had backed up, she’d not had a good reaction to her joke, and she was bringing her things in front of her solar plexus, a sure sign of being uncomfortable.   That was the last thing she wanted to do.   Flopping from assuring to offending was not an effective way to bring someone to a good point psychologically.  “Don’t be grateful until I’ve done something,” she said, walking to the large bookshelf filled with jars of plant material, and gesturing for Eliza to follow.  “I haven’t done anything yet.”

She asked the question she should have asked when Eliza had first arrived, “How are you feeling?  I have some tea for you, that I made up as an iron supplement.  It’s pretty tasty.”  She took a large, picnic size peanut butter jar, so wide she had to hold it with two hands, off of the shelf.  It was filled with dark green, light green, and bits of light and dark oranges.  “This is chickweed, nettle, apricot, and orange peel.  It is one of the highest combinations of iron available other than a legume or meat.  Drink five cups a day, and if you have anemia, this will clear it up within two weeks.”

She’d done some research since meeting Eliza, and had several other avenues she could go down, if she considered just the hair loss as a symptom.  But any healer worth their salt, or so said all of the herbal books and magazines she’s garnered over the years, did not look at the symptoms, but what might be underlying the symptoms.  It was the underlying cause that was to be addressed, not the symptom itself.  Stress, a common underlying cause of many,  many things was never far from Phoenix's thoughts. If it was stress that was causing Eliza's hair loss, then despite the impressively brave face she was putting on, she was not dealing with her mutation on a psychological level...Not a good sign for survival.   Her thoughts strayed to Eliza's living situation, and possible causes of stress, but pushed it away.

She gestured for Eliza to follow her back to the stairs, saying, “I will make you up a cup now!”

 

* * *

 

Eliza felt like she was being chastised like a little girl even as she was comforted by Phoenix's warm touch. Though she claimed not to have done anything for her yet, Eliza knew it not to be true. By simply meeting her and inviting the mutant to her home, Phoenix had changed the ferret-woman's world. It was not as painful as her last introduction to a series of truths beyond her previous comprehension. Still finding out that her new existence was much broader than she had been lead to believe was monumental. Especially if there was a possibility that she would be living in it much longer than originally anticipated.

She thought about lying and saying that she felt fine. A typical and polite response that she had given a hundred times in her life. But she felt that this was not a situation that called for high society manners. She was trusting Phoenix with her health, she owed her honest answers. "I am feeling a bit tired after walking most of the morning." She smiled as the healer expounded on the mixture she had for Eliza, and was touched by the sentiment even though she had already taken her own measures to increase her iron levels.

The prospect of having to drink five cups a day was daunting, she rarely had more than a cup of coco a day, and that during cold weather. She prefered her drinks well chilled. Still, given yesterday's debacle, a bit of a boast couldn't hurt.

She followed the bouncing woman, who seemed be attempting to lift her mood by sheer force of will. And not doing a bad job at it. The prospect of sitting down and continuing their conversation, regardless of the direction it took, was a pleasant one and she smiled at it. "I'd love to have a cup." Eliza said as she trailed along after the healer.

 

* * *

 

Phoenix lead them back to the stairs, noting Eliza's symptom.   A list of possibilities ran through her head: depending on how far away her home was, she might just be tired from the walk itself; if she had anemia, then that would make any kind of prolonged activity tiring, and climbing up the stairs, while no longer tired for her, was for a long time before her legs had gotten used to; if she had been pregnant for going on months, she was approaching her second trimester, which Phoenix remembered being utterly exhausting before the nesting instinct of the third trimester set in.

They approached the fifth floor, and as they got to the landing, Phoenix said, with the same drama as she had the floor below, “The living-floor!”  Indeed, this floor showed much more signs of civilized life than the fourth, the entire floorplan was one sort of living space or another.  Near the opening of the landing, there were five free-standing rooms, looking like a long rectangle made of plywood.  It stood away from the cinderblock wall that had the stairs on the other side to make a kind of hallway, which was obviously used as a utility area.  As one entered the floor, a quick look to the left showed a washer, dryer, and various cleaning sundries.  To the immediate right at the landing was an open door that revealed the toilet, and a small workman’s shower.

The rest of the floor was open space. cordoned off into sections much like the floor below, simply because it had different furniture in it than the previous section.  Looking straight, there was a living-room, with a couch, large comfy chairs, and a television set.  Beyond that was a complete kitchen, with a large, industrial sink, oven/stove, fridge, countertops, and cabinets.  An old formica table with peeling chrome legs and a set of 4 matching chairs completed the picture.  At the far end of the room, past the rectangle of plywood, which was punctuated with five doors, indicating rooms, was a space that was obviously a workout space.  A set of homemade uneven bars, a pommel horse, a balance beam, and a hardwood floor all took up their own places in the ‘room’.  

“You will have to excuse the mess,” Phoenix gestured to the plant matter on the floor in between the living room and the kitchen.  “I was working when you arrived.”

 

* * *

 

Eliza chuckled at the older woman's dramatic flare. This floor had all the amenities one might expect in any home plus quite a bit more. It looked comfortable and very well lived in, but in an inviting way. Closing her eyes she could practically feel the sense of life and the energy of the family flowing all around. It was place where love abounded and did more to put her at ease than any of Phoenix's verbal assurances. Taking a deep breath she felt some of her tension ease away.

The ferret looked around again and for some reason was not surprised to see the gym area. The Hamatos had the dojo and it made sense to her that any group that had to hide away during the day might need a space to work off some excess energy. The equipment was much closer to that of a gymnastics studio than the fight training Splinter had set-up. She had no personal experience with most of it but had watched enough Olympic competition broadcasts to recognize them for what they were.

The bathroom and utility area were humble but functional. The other doors in the constructed hall were closed but easy enough to determine that they were bedrooms. She smiled and waved a hand to dismiss the healer’s apology at the mess. “Trust me, I’ve seen far worse.” She smiled at the remembrance of her own days when unexpected company would stop by after a rough week and she would be hard pressed to find more than two matching glasses in the entire house. She walked into the home, head turning this way that, admiring the small touches the personalized the large space. The cabinet's handles were mismatched in an eclectic way and some of the pieces seemed to have the same flare to them as she had seen in the woodshop downstairs. Randomly a vase or small figurine could be found on a flat surface and canvases were hung on columns and walls alike. Coffee and side tables had small stacks of books on them, each with ribbons or slips of cardboard marking the reader’s current place.

“It’s a lovely home.” She said without looking back as she made her way to the couch. “I hope you don’t mind if I take a seat while you brew. My feet are killing me.” She turned to receive the Phoenix’s permission and smiled. Eliza slipped her backpack off and placed it on the floor next to the seat she intended to take pilling her other accessories on top. She sat and had readjust her balance momentarily when she happened to land in a spot where the cushions had conformed to a body larger than her own and the springs were not as firm as she had expected. “Oops. hehe.” she snickered under her breath at her own lack of grace. She grabbed a throw pillow, noting that the edging was worn and in need of some mending before stuffing it behind her back to bolster her posture.

She would bring with her kit with her next time so she could match the thread color for the repair and would keep an eye out for anything else in need of her sewing skills. Not that she believed the family didn’t possess the ability to see to such things themselves, but that she was already keeping a tally of ways to help and repay the kindness being shown to her. Using her dexterity with fabric, needle and thread would be simple for her. From their initial encounter a week ago she already knew that any gestures she made would have to be subtle or presented in such a way that Phoenix could not refuse them.

Comfortably situated she returned her attention to her host as she bustled about the kitchen preparing refreshment. “I hope I’m not keeping you from anything too important.” She gestured with an open palm to indicate the plants the Phoenix had been working on before Eliza arrived. “After our drinks I could help you if you like. Though that’s only if I wouldn’t slow you down. Otherwise I could just keep you company. I’m not in any hurry today.” She smiled knowing that she was under no time constraints, relishing in the sense of freedom it gave her. “I’m all yours till you’re ready to kick me out.” Eliza crinkled her eyes and wiggled her ears to accompany her jovial tone.


	5. Chapter 5

Phoenix’s day was full of firsts, and it gave her an uncomfortable thrill.  She felt so out of practice, playing hostess, that every little thing that was not up to par became glaringly apparent.  She was proud of her home, proud of what she’d been able to do with absolutely nothing, while still caring for four little mutants.  But now having someone look at it, someone who obviously was not a guttersnipe as tended to visit her from the Grey Cats, she seemed horribly lacking.  Everything was worn, used, someone elses before it was her family’s.  The concrete floor, which she worked hard to keep clean and nice, suddenly seemed dingy and industrial.   Her mother’s voice sounded in her head, something that had not happened since her birth children’s toddlerhoods.  Look how you’re living, her mother’s voice, out of dumpsters!  She shook her head to get the ghost chastisement out of her head.  If Eliza did not yet know how mutants lived, then she might was well be under pretenses any longer.  Mutants live out of dumpsters, Mother, she told herself.

“It’s a lovely home,” Eliza said, another first for Phoenix.  No one had ever said she’d had a lovely home, not in this life, and not in her last life.  If it was lovely, then it was not her doing, she knew, but that of her rather artistic children.

“Thank you,” she replied quietly, as Eliza looked back at her to see if it was alright if she sat down.  Phoenix motioned to the couch, and smiled.  She wondered again at Eliza’s host, that after the amount of time she’d been a mutant that she would have tired feet after walking for only the morning.  Perhaps the ferret had been exaggerating about the amount of time she’d been mutated, perhaps it wasn’t going on months, perhaps it only felt that way to her.  If it had been going on months, then her host must be generous indeed if he was providing for her and her daughter, despite any reservations she felt from Eliza’s very brief mentions of him, and what Phoenix had been able to surmise from the ferret’s behavior.

Phoenix felt another bout of shame as Eliza sank into the couch, where one of the boys usually sat.  Eliza sank into it, and not in a pleasant way, as the worn out springs gave underneath her, making it look as if the sofa was trying to eat her up.  The ferret mutant seemed to take in good nature, however, with a chuckle, grabbing a pillow to stuff behind her back.  That alleviated Phoenix’s anxiety a little.

She crossed the ‘room’ toward the kitchen, passing her ‘mantle’ on the way, the bookshelf that held the bowl with her wedding set, now underneath the Kraang ball Medusa had found, and the vase with the juniper and catmint in it.  She absently rearranged the foliage in the vase, to work off a little of the nervous energy that her anxiety had given her, and then reached the kitchen proper and began to boil some water in the kettle, a worn Corelle thing that still worked admirably, if it was rather dated, probably from the 70s.  

Phoenix noted the smug tone in Eliza’s voice when she said she was under no time constraints for this particular visit, and felt a knot of frustration begin to form in her chest. First, Eliza is helped by her host, who appeared to be sheltering her greatly from reality, but then at the same time didn’t want her to anywhere.  It didn’t make sense to her. It is no concern of yours, she told herself, only your patient’s issues.  Stop being controlling.

“You’re not keeping me from anything,” she said.  “This is just taking the leaves off of stalks to dry them.  There isn’t anything to it.”  And indeed, there wasn’t, she’d had her own children doing it when they were toddlers, even Aries with his thick, three-fingered hands.

Getting two cups and a teapot out of the cupboard as she waited for the water to boil, she leaned on the table,  chuckling at Eliza's wiggling ears, and asked in a teasing tone,  "No curfew? What about your daughter?"

 

* * *

 

Eliza was happy that it sounded like she would have an opportunity to help out, even if it is just a simple task. The ferret had just bent down to slip off her makeshift boots, when Phoenix had posed her query about Gwyn. At that moment she was scowling unhappily because she had notice that the fur on her left foot was damp. It meant that not only was her design uncomfortable but that she had flubbed the construction as well and water had seeped in through a poorly sealed seam. She grabbed her scarf and started to dry herself as she distractedly answered.

“The whole gang went camping in the lower tunnels, apparently there is a whole network of caverns and abandoned passageways to explore. They were kind enough to let Gwyn go with them even when I couldn’t.” The silky scarf was a poor substitute for a proper towel but managed to get the job done. She examined her failed footwear briefly, taking a surreptitious sniff, before setting them to the side with her other things. She was relieved to discover that she hadn’t stepped in anything unseemly.

“Actually,” she drawled out the word and added a musical lilt to the syllables before dropping her voice in a conspiratorial manner. All the while looking at the Phoenix  with a mischievous glint in her eye. “I may have mentioned the idea in passing, and well, you know kids. Once they get an idea in their head, it takes on a life of its own. And my Gwyn,” she smiled and winked at her companion, “she can be very persuasive. Between the two of us it didn’t take very much for the idea to spread and be adopted by everyone.” She sat up a little straighter and slowly rubbed the inside of her right arm before placing her hands in her lap. She attempted to keep her tone upbeat. “So when I had to recuse myself from the outing, everything had already been planned and no one wanted to disappoint her. Rather than stay home with me they offered to let her still come along.”

The ferret-woman shrugged her shoulders, feeling only slightly guilty for her well-planned manipulation. They had made the final decisions, she had only guided them in a direction that she would find favorable. “If they hadn’t taken her along I would have brought Gwyn with me.” It would have not been an ideal solution but tolerable. The important thing was to make sure she had been free to leave the lair without being questioned or waylayed. “But as it stands now, I don’t expect them back until nightfall day after tomorrow.” Eliza smiled and gave a slight shake of her head. “So… No. No curfew for this mamma.”

 

* * *

 

Phoenix kept her smile, she liked the tone in Eliza’s voice, and her mind whirred at the actual words.  She was with a group of mutants, not just one.  That was always a good thing, even if the group was a not-very-pleasant one.  People were social creatures, the anthropomorphic mutants were not different, whether they were animal or humans before their transformation.  Social creatures worked in social situations, even a stressful social situation was more desirable than a pleasant but lonely one.  She trusted these people enough to leave her daughter with them for days, and going to another location.  At 12, she would not have let her children go anywhere overnight with anyone, even with just themselves.  They were not to leave the Haunted Warehouse District without her, even though she was quite sure they had ventured farther than they were supposed to on occasion.  The level of trust that Eliza had for her host was impressive on that count alone.   But then, Eliza would back up when she talked about him, she knew there was a him because Eliza had said so.  She wasn’t supposed to be going anywhere, she had intimated, albeit in a very round about way, that her host did not tolerate disobedience well.

_You don’t tolerate disobedience well,_  she told herself.  A leader in this world could not tolerate disobedience, it would mean the doom of his group, or the death of one of its members.  She felt a pull at her conscious, as if she were contributing to a lie.  She did not like to consider herself a leader,  but she knew others did, and that she expected to be obeyed, and obeyed immediately–the hallmark of someone who considers themselves a leader.  However, she would never have encouraged anyone to disobey their own leader, even a Grey Cat, when making a bad decision.  Chategris was the king of his little kingdom, what he said was law.  It needed to be if the Grey Cats were going to survive.

Eliza was deliberately disobeying, she had connived to disobey.  That did not sit well with Phoenix at all.  _Perhaps she is not disobeying,_  she consoled herself,  _perhaps she bending the spirit of the law._  Following the spirit, but not the letter, of the law was a perfectly acceptable way to manipulate one’s situation without actually disobeying, even in her world.

As the tea kettle began to whistle, Phoenix shooed the running thoughts from her head, they were her own, after all, and not the unbidden thought.  She poured the water in the tea pot, using her own stash of iron tea to make the pot, before allowing it to steep.

“You are welcome to stay here, for as long as you like,” Phoenix said.  She gestured to the large floor, “There is plenty of room.”  She poured the tea into the two cups, and brought them over to the couch.  Looking down at Eliza’s footwear, she asked gently, “Did you make those?”

 

* * *

 

“Oh oh, please don’t think I’m trying to impose myself.” She sat straight and waved her hand while still holding it low, the gesture fast and almost frantic in her backpedaling. She was feeling high on the freedom of this moment and didn’t want that to translate into rudeness. She smiled softly as Phoenix handed her the warm mug. “It’s just nice not to rushed, especially when there is pleasant company to be enjoyed.” She closed her eyes and inhaled the tea, enjoying the citrusy tang that greeted her. She opened her eyes again at Phoenix’s question and had to follow her line of sight in the direction of her recently discarded boots.

“Yeah, attempt number three. No. Four.” Eliza huffed and shook her head slightly. “And it looks like I’m back to the drawing board again. The seams spread more than I anticipated or the sealer I used wasn’t the right kind. Either way they leaked and the whole point is to AVOID wet feet. It shouldn’t be this hard besides the modified heal structure, but the balance never seems quite right.” Eliza blew over her cup, before taking a tiny sip. It wasn’t altogether unpleasant but had an after taste that would require getting used to it. At the moment though it was still too warm for her liking and so she set it on the table till it was a bit more tepid. “Granted, before this I’d never made any footwear more complicated than a soft flat or slipper. I’m still playing with the materials. Eventually I’d like to move to leather but not till I’ve got the form right. I haven’t worked with it for years and I need to make sure it’s worth the effort before I go that far. For now synthetics are good enough for pattern making and prototyping.” She propped her elbow on her knee and rested her head on her fist.

“I think I may have to abandon the idea of supporting the heal all together, it’s just too long and I seem to put most of my weight on the front pad and toes  regardless. Hmmm… maybe something like a rubber moccasin would be better?” Eliza sat in silence, mulling over the idea, wondering if she could even pull off that type of fabrication. It was a little out of her experience but maybe she could get Donnie to help with the adhesive science. She would have to make a solid dummy form of her foot too, the wire and cloth one she was using wouldn’t hold up to the rubber and glue and come out in one piece. She suddenly blinked rapidly, just realizing that she had been rambling on onesidely and then losing herself inside her own headspace.

She reached for her tea and took a larger sip to try and cover her embarrassment. After swallowing she gave a self-depreciating chuckle. “Sorry, guess I was rambling.” She smiled as she scrambled for a change of topic. “Umm… the tea is good.” She made a show of taking another sip, ignoring the slight bitterness. “Could I make it make it in a large batch and drink it cold? Like a sweet tea? Or will that reduce the effectiveness?”


	6. Chapter 6

Phoenix watched Eliza babble, more than listened, and the lighthearted feeling she always got in such situations over took her and her smile beamed.  Phoenix put a high price on one exhibiting their artistic talents, in whatever way that talent happened to manifest itself.  Apparently, it presented itself in Eliza in a way similar to her Aries, the devising and creating of materials out of other materials.  The woman must be quite determined, Phoenix mused, if this was her fourth attempt, and there were more attempts in the offing.  She looked down at Eliza’s foot when she mentioned how she walked on it, and saw that, indeed, she did walk mostly on her toes and front pads.  Though Phoenix would have no idea how to make a shoe if the pattern hit her in the nose, she could see, sort of, what Eliza was talking about when she suggested getting rid of the heel. **  
**

She let Eliza have her quiet as the woman thought.  The Phoenix could see that an image of a shoe, or whatever images one gets when devising shoes, was dancing before the ferret’s mind eye, and was loathe to disturb it with anything, even a thank you for being called pleasant company.  It surprised her slightly, then, when Eliza said, “The tea is good.”

She blinked, her huge smile still on her face, as she brought her mind back to the question asked.  “Yes,” she answered, nodding her head.  “You can drink it cold and make it like sweet tea. With the weather getting warmer, that might be a better way to drink it anyway.”  She took a sip of her own tea, the bitter aftertaste hitting her tongue, “You can put a sweetener in it if you want,” she looked up at Eliza, “but in my experience, sugar is precious commodity not to be wasted on herbal tea.”

* * *

 

Eliza ducked her head in an attempt to hide the smile that was threatening to split her face in half. Sometimes the universe just handed you perfect opportunities and this was a moment she had been waiting for, unable to decide on her own how to broker the subject. Placing her mug back on the table she turned so that her body shielded her actions as she unzipped her backpack and rummaged around. She brought the container she had fished out close to her chest and tweaked the ribbon. She looked over her shoulder at the healer who was giving her a curious look. **  
**

“Funny that you should say that. I’d always heard that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” She smiled and turned so that Phoenix could see the large plastic jar of honey she held, it’s cheerful bear shape smartly decorated with a red bow tie. “This may not be sugar but I think it will fill the role quite nicely.” She smiled and held out the gift with a determined look in her eye as Phoenix took her time retrieving it.

“You know, the first thing that I knew about you, before even I knew there was a YOU, was the scent of honey and herbs.” She had to swallow against the sudden rush of emotion she felt thinking back on that night not long ago. “Back in that alley, I was only looking for a moment of stolen freedom. I’m thankful that I found so much more.”

She sensed Phoenix’s continued reluctance and practically placed the honey bear in the woman’s lap and covered the healer’s smaller hand with her clawed one. “You keep saying that I don’t owe you anything. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But it would make me so very happy if you would accept this, not as payment, but as a token of my appreciation and, hopefully, friendship.” She smiled again and laughed, wanting to lighten the mood. “Besides, it’s heavy and I’d rather not haul it back home with me.”

* * *

 

Phoenix’s mouth fell open as Eliza turned her body to show her a large jar of honey.  It had been years since she’d seen that much honey in one place at one time.  How in the world did Eliza get it?  Oh yes, she still had a bank account, that she used, and sent her human daughter out shopping for things…she couldn’t even reach out to take the bottle, it seemed like some sort of cruel joke, a mutant with money who buys honey and gives it to homeless women who live in abandoned warehouses. **  
**

She smelled like honey and herbs?  Is that what mutants smelled when  she came close to them, even before they could see her or hear her?  She had never thought of how she smelled before, not specifically, only if she smelled bad for not showering in the cold water in the winter.  She would have to ask the kids when they came home, what she smelled like.

She looked down at Eliza’s hand as she practically put the jar of honey  in her lap, and covered her hand with her own.  She was saying that she wanted her to take this as a token of friendship.

Of friendship.

She was saying that she wanted to be her friend.  Phoenix shook her head slightly, this was like out of a dream.  She had been gifted with tokens of appreciation before, she had been told that her presence was wanted and anticipated, but she had never had anyone tell her, while she was living this life, that the token was one of friendship.

She looked up at Eliza with tears in her big, green eyes, and blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.  She was the healer, the one who was supposed to reassure those around her, and here was this woman, this paradox of human and mutant, that was making her cry.

“Many of my medicines are made with a honey base,” she said, her voice far away, “when I have it.”  She took a deep breath in, afraid she would lose her voice.  “Thank you, Eliza,” she breathed, looking at the ferret with an intense gratefulness, the feeling threatening to make her tears spill over onto her cheeks.

* * *

 

Phoenix’s eyes were glassy as she talked of using honey in her remedies and seemed to gather herself before issuing a breathy thank you. Eliza had given April instructions to get the largest jar she could, along with several other items, while the teen was out on a special shopping trip just for her and was pleasantly surprised when the red-head returned with the bear container. She had hoped it would be a useful without being so outrageous that the healer would refuse it. From the look of appreciation the healer was giving her she had hit her mark and so much more. The gratitude swelled her heart to overflowing and the warming tingle of it bringing a sense of fulfillment she hadn’t felt in a long time. **  
**

This time she didn’t ask but enfolded the Phoenix in a hug, stooping down so that the smaller woman’s head rested on her shoulder while her own long neck and muzzle allowed her head to rest on the healer’s upper back. She ignored the trace of damp that made it through her fur enough so that it reached her skin. Instead she just held her new friend, making no noise or movement till she felt Phoenix pull away. The the ferret sat up casually, not drawing attention to what had just happened, and smiled softly.

“I’m glad that it will be useful. But you have to promise me,” she waggled her finger playfully at her companion, “that you will use a portion of it for yourself.” Eliza smiled to herself as she retrieved her mug and finished off her tea, which was only slightly warm now, she had a feeling that it was a promise that Phoenix might have a hard time keeping. Done with her drink she leaned back into the couch, hands interlocked and resting casually on her torso, just underneath her chest. Turning only her head she noted that Phoenix looked composed but happy.

“So, what shall we do now?” She smiled and looked over at the table where the plants were still spread. “My offer to help you prep still stands and we can get to know each other a little better while we work. Or would you prefer to get down to business?” She frowned slightly, not knowing what steps the healer had in mind to determine her status. Closing her eyes she took a breath before looking at Phoenix and giving her a small smile. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still nervous or scared. But I’ve had time to think and I’m ready to find out what’s going on.” She chuckled. “Though I’m not in a rush either. If that makes sense.”

* * *

 

When Eliza reached out and enveloped her, the tears would hold back no longer.  Phoenix was well aware that she was a crier, that the tears would stop soon, but she let them fall for the moment, onto the shirt that Eliza was wearing.  She felt the ferret’s neck on her shoulder and her head on her back, and with her arms wrapped around her, she felt truly enfolded, something she had only felt with her children up until this very moment.  The ferret mutant smelled of ginger and honeysuckle, with unmistakable musk that lay underneath in all Mustelids.  It was comforting, the animal smell, much more than the ginger and honeysuckle.  Perhaps she was more accustomed to using her nose than the thought. **  
**

She pulled away when the tears stopped, and nodded her head like a little child when Eliza chastised her about using the honey for herself.  It was a common demand, given to her before, “I promise,” she said quietly.

Eliza leaned back, as if she had been here a hundred times before, and her smug smile brought Phoenix back to herself.  She took a deep breath, and looked at plants that still needed tending.  “I need to finish those up,” she said apologetically, “before the kids get home, or they’ll be trampled and useless.”  Visions of Medusa’s huge body turning each of the leaves into a mushy pulp came to mind.  “All I need to do is put the leaves on the screens to be ready for the dehydrator.  With help, it shouldn’t take long.”

* * *

 

Eliza rocked slightly to assist her rise from the couch, flexing her toes once she was standing, enjoying no longer being constrained by her shoes. She really did prefer to be barefoot, or only socks in her pre-mutant days, but could not stand the idea of sloshing through the sewers without some sort of protection. She did not consider the wraps that Splinter and the boys used anywhere near adequate enough. **  
**

“Then let us get to it.” she smiled down at the smaller woman. “First, if you’ll pardon me, I’m gonna make use of the facilities. By the landing right?” She asked just in case there was some issue she should be made aware of. She strode down the hall and came back after only a couple of minutes, her once confined tail swinging behind her, fur flattened so that it followed the form of the bone and muscle underneath. She felt in a jovial and relaxed mode as she made to join Phoenix at the table.

“Much better.” She declared as she sat down. She observed Phoenix’s actions for a moment before picking up a nearby stalk and copying her. After a few moments of silent work she had the rhythm down and fell into a pattern easily. “So, I guess this is a good a time as any to get better acquainted.” She looked up and smiled before returning her attention to her work. “Though you already know some things about me that no one else does.”

The ferret felt the heat of embarrassment and was thankful that her normally telling blush could no longer be seen.

“Still, we haven’t really had a chance to get into many of the basics, so I guess I’ll start there. I’m 37, married Grant when I was 23 even though he was 31. I was pregnant with Gwyn before our second anniversary.” She smiled softly, not really looking at the Phoenix while she glossed over the details of a life she could no go back to.

“He got sick about five years later. It was a long fight that he eventually lost. I love him very much and Gwyn misses him a lot.” She sighed the resigned way of one who had accepted the tragedies of the past even though they still felt them. “We do well enough, just the two of us. Grant set up a trust and taught me how to be a day trader so that I could work from home. He made sure that we would be taken care of.” Her voice was tender and full of love, she coughed and felt the need to press on.

“I like to read and sew and Gwyn and I both sing. We like to watch movies together, she’s a social butterfly and I’m a bit of a homebody though I used to do a lot of community volunteering.” She shrugged and stopped talking, not knowing what else to expound on for the moment. “I’m pretty boring otherwise, except of course the whole ‘giant ferret’ thing, but if there’s anything else you want to know I’d be happy to answer what I can.” She looked up at her friend, blinked a few times, but was otherwise calm and passive.


	7. Chapter 7

Phoenix listened politely,  “I know losing a spouse is very hard,” she said quietly.  “It is not something I would wish for anyone to go through.”  Thoughts of her Stephane, beautiful, his skin shining like chocolate, drifted gently into her consciousness, and then drifted out again just as gently.  It was like someone she had dreamt of long ago.

Eliza’s position financially took Phoenix by surprise.  Unlike herself, Eliza VonHertz was not dead on paper.  While the human who was Eliza VonHertz no longer exisisted, the person who could work from home as a day trader, who had a trust, who was financially taken care of enough that she could be a homebody and do volunteer work was not dead.  This put the ferret in a position like no other mutant she had met or heard of.  She had to bat away a jealousy at such a position.  She had been hard pressed when she’d left the affluent lifestyle of her upbringing to marry Stephane, and then been hard pressed again when she left their lower class lifestyle for one of not even registering on the poverty line.  But what good is money, she told herself in an effort to be kind, if you can’t spend it.  Eliza would never be able to go into a store to buy anything, never have an address to mail things to.  She would still have to live in the shadows, and live in a world where money had little power or significance.  And this woman was talking as if nothing had happened, like she could go on being a day trader and living on a trust fund, as if she hadn’t been hit by mutagen and turned into a giant ferret.  

Phoenix kept waiting for the part where her life as a ‘giant ferret’ began, and it never arrived.  “You said that you’ve been a mutant for going on months now,” she said casually, not looking up.  She’d learned a long time ago, probably from one of the psychology journals she’d picked up as reading material, that doing a task with someone, and talking while not looking at them was a good way to get them to open up.  Eliza seemed willing to open up, and psychologically she was such a paradox to Phoenix.   “What have you been doing since then?”  She placed the leaves she’d plucked off the stems onto the tray, filling it, and moving it to the side.  She grabbed an empty one from the stack near them, and said, “Surely you’ve had adventures in what is going on months?”

* * *

 

Eliza shrugged her shoulders, her role in the lair was not a particularly exciting one, and she preferred it that way. “The adventures happen but I am not often part of them.” She spent a moment or two in silence, simply stripping leaves, trying to think of someway to explain her limited life and not make it seem pathetic. She saw none. **  
**

“Part of the day I spend working on my business accounts. I do a lot of commodity speculation and currency trading. It doesn’t take much movement for me maintain a small growth in my portfolio. Honestly I could probably diversify everything into bonds and not deal with it at all, but, well, it gives me something to do.” Even in her own head she sounded pretentious. Eliza had lived most of her life working hard and scraping by. Grant’s financial success came only after he was too sick to work a regular job. A lot of his efforts had gone into paying medical bills and setting aside the rest for them live off of after he was gone. In the end she had sat at his bedside doing the work for him and learning to see the patterns he did. She developed the patience to nurture what he had left them into a size that maintained them quite nicely. It was empty hollow work, but satisfying in that she was able to provide for her family and be generous in giving to others.

“But most of my time is spent with Gwyn, making sure she stays current with her education and piano skills or working on projects together. Beyond that I cook, clean and do whatever I can to help around the lair.” She rubbed the inside of her arm again before returning to stripping leaves. She knew that part of her role was to be Donnie’s sample supply and eventual guinea pig, but it was a fair trade to get her and Gwyn’s lives back.

She glanced over at Phoenix and could tell that her answers were not particularly pleasing. She sighed with a bit of frustration but moved in a direction she would rather avoid. “The night I was mutated those aliens tried to kill Gwyn and capture me. So I stay hidden. Dangerous creatures come to life and escape the lab. I don’t chase after them. Robots invade the lair and come inches away from cutting off my head as my daughter screams behind me, only to be stopped by a singular blade. I count my blessings. When the people who have taken us in and saved our lives ask for something, I give all that I can.” She put the stalk she was working on down, knowing that she was just abusing the leaves. “And when their Master tells me to stay below. I do.” She sighed and blew out what remained of her temper in a huff. “Or at least I did until last week.” She felt a sense of guilt welling up knowing that Splinter would be extremely displeased with her being here, especially when she was doing it behind his back.

“If these are the kind of ‘adventures’ this life holds,” She looked over at the healer, feeling deflated. “you’ll have to forgive me for not seeking them out.”

* * *

 

Phoenix listened, not really understanding what Eliza was saying about portfolios and diversifying and bonds.  She had never had a hand in any of that, when she younger, her father and the company had taken care of all of the money matters.  After she’d been married, there was no money to put in any portfolios after bills were paid and money went into the savings account. **  
**

Telling her about taking care of Gwyn brought a quick flash of her own children’s childhoods back to her.   When they were little, she spent her days in much the same way, lessons and working on projects together.  Of course, by the time they were twelve, their lessons were long over.   All four of them knew how to read, and do more than basic mathematics, and pursued their own interests, save their projects together.  What had she spent her time doing when they were younger?  Ah yes, trying to scavenge enough food to feed four mutants going through puberty.

She was disturbed slightly by the phrase, “I cook,clean and do whatever I can to help around the lair.”  It sounded too much like a maid, and not like a guest or a member of a household.  Eliza looked up, and she saw the look on the ferret’s face change.  Her muzzle twisted in to one of frustration, and then she began to speak of her life now, as a mutant.  

The Phoenix felt shame color her cheeks as she worked to keep her eyes on the ferret.  

Had she been in this world so long that she no longer knew what a normal life was like?  That she didn’t know that being a giant talking animal was not what people grew up with, that having to fight off alien robots was not what people did every day?  As Eliza kept talking, the Phoenix felt the heat in her face drift up past her eyes, and spill into her ears.  How could she be so uncouth as to not see that her simple question, asked in conversation, would open such a floodgate.

The disgust in Eliza’s voice was so apparent with her last statement, that Phoenix wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.  Through the tightness that gripped her chest and throat she said quietly, “There is nothing to forgive.”  She knew that Eliza said it sarcastically, as a barb, but in order to not break down with embarrassment, the only thing she could think to do was to act as if it wasn’t.  “That is not something that I would ask anyone to seek out.” 

* * *

 

The ferret noticed the flush of red on the healer’s face and the strained formality of her tone. It was apparent that she had gone too far and though she didn’t deny the truth of what she had said she did feel bad for making her host uncomfortable. Unable to face her, Eliza looked away. She was putting her trust in this woman and truly wanted to become friends. Eliza needed a friend and was doing a poor job at making and being one. Maybe she needed to give it more time before unleashing her less appealing personality traits. She was at a lose as to how to respond. Eliza allowed the silence to fall heavy in the room, punctuated on by the sounds of leaves being stripped from steams as she resumed the task in front of them. She finished filling the tray in front of her before she found her voice again. **  
**

“I didn’t mean to go off on you like that.” She swallowed and snuck a glance over to her side where Phoenix sat. “Guess I’m being a bit sensitive. I usually have a much thicker skin than this.” An uncomfortable short laugh slipped past her lips. “Or should I say pelt now?”

She continued to pluck leaves, they had made a significant dent in the pile and only a few trays remained. “Do you want to take these downstairs when we’re finished?” She said with no real enthusiasm, just wanting to change topics.

* * *

 

“No, it’s my fault,” Phoenix said quickly, when Eliza looked away.  It had been a long time since she’d been struck speechless, and an even longer time since she’d been struck speechless because of something she’d done.  She knew her face was probably a shade of mauve, with her scars at her temples a bright white, making her look like Frankenstein’s monster.  The thought of her marred face made her blush deepen.  “I asked the question.”

She waved at the trays, “No, we don’t have to take these downstairs for a while.  The others won’t be done for a bit.”  She saw the attempted change of subject, and couldn’t think of anything else to say about it, so she grasped for the first thing she could think of.  

“You don’t know anything about me,” she said, remembering their first encounter.  “That’s unusual for me.”  She wasn’t sure how the mutants in the city found out about her, or what they said when they talked to each other.  She had always guessed that someone ran into someone who told someone about this lady who went about the city helped mutants who were hurt.  She recalled Jack Kurtzman’s words, that one of the first things a mutant in NYC learned was about the Phoenix.  Having someone who didn’t know seemed to put in an uncomfortable position.  Had she grown so used to being high and mighty?  She hoped not, she liked to think of herself as kind, and thoughts of her rather selfish behaviors had to be shooed from her mind.  “Do you have anything you’d like to know?”

* * *

 

Content to have the attention off of herself for the moment, a thousand questions floated through her mind. _Why was a human willingly living in this situation? Was it because of the kids? Were they all hers from before? Why would she know anything about the Phoenix? Just how had all these mutants stayed hidden in a place like NYC?_ As each query came to mind it was easily dismissed. They didn’t really matter. Phoenix was here, she helped mutants, she mothered mutants and from the way she carried herself it was obvious that she was a leader. This healer was an important member in a hidden community that Eliza now found herself a part of, willingly or not. **  
**

Perhaps her queries would be put to use in finding out about her skills and interests rather than her position and circumstances. She looked over at the smaller woman and pulled out a polite smile.

“Well I already know that you use herbal medicine, were you a nurse before?” Eliza thought for a moment longer, trying to find a more pleasant and personal inquiry. “Oh and what do you like to do for fun? Maybe we…” her thought was interrupted by a loud and undeniable growl coming from her midsection. She placed a hand on her stomach, her eyes widened and couldn’t help but laugh at herself. “Sorry about that. I swear, just ate a few hours ago.”

* * *

 

Phoenix shook her head, “No, I wasn’t  a nurse.”  She chuckled at the absurdity of the idea.   "I was a poet.  In fact, I didn’t live here either,“ she remembered Eliza’s babbling from her distraught heart on their first meeting.  "I had been asked to read .”  She hadn’t thought about that night for years.  

She smiled widely at Eliza’s second question.  "I love to dance.“   It sounded pretentious to her, so she added,  "I meditate,  and I practice my gymnastics,” she gestured to the gym, “and I garden,” she gestured to the window.

She laughed at Eliza’s stomach growling.   “I have been a poor hostess,” She leapt up and bounded to the kitchen.  "Would you like some canned salmon?“   All formality was gone from her voice and gestures. She was proud of herself for having something that would be up a ferrets alley.   "We found an entire case, and it won’t last long with Arcos.”  She get chuckled again at the thought of her eldest son’s predictable love of the caviar of bears.  "You have to get it while it’s still here.“

* * *

 

“Wow, that is quite a jump from poet to medicine woman. But I guess life breeds necessity.” Eliza thought over the many vocation changes she’d had and found it a little less surprising. You never really knew what opportunities life would present you with. Or challenges for that matter. **  
**

She nodded and smiled as Phoenix listed off her past-times. She found it somewhat amusing that mediation was among the list. Maybe having mutant children was so stressful that both she and Splinter had both resorted to communing with the universe to cope. It was a silly thought, one that she definitely wouldn’t share, but made her snicker nonetheless. “The only dancing I ever did beyond my single years was with a mop as a partner.” She laughed at her own joke as she gathered the last of the leaves and put them on the screen in front of her.

Eliza rose and followed the other woman at the mention of food. She hated to impose but there was no point in denying her hunger thanks to her traitorous body. Besides, she hadn’t had fish in a while and it sounded good.  

“You’re fine.” She waved off her friend’s comment as her mind was already shuffling through a catalog of possibilities on how to use the canned salmon. Something quick and simple seemed the best route. “You said you like to garden, right? Well if you have any recent greens I could easily make us a salad.” Eliza thought about the best types of seasonings to enhance the flavor. “It wouldn’t take much, salt, pepper, mustard or mayo, onions and some kind of citrus to pull it all together. We could even use dandelion leaves if you don’t have anything else.”

She was getting excited about catering to a different pallet. They tended to trend more towards carbs at the lair and she was happy to have a plant option that was not algae. “It would stretch the meal out for the both of us and leave more for Acros or we could make a larger batch to share with everyone. As long as the salmon mix is kept cold and separate it will keep for a couple of days. It would make a good spread for a sandwich if someone would prefer it that way too.” She was practically bouncing on her toes, as she waited for Phoenix to gather utensils and ingredients, observing and adjusting the recipe and proportions as the available options were revealed.


	8. Chapter 8

As Eliza listed off items, Phoenix ran through the kitchen to gather what she had.  Someone was making her food!  She hated dealing with food, and would rather not deal with it all, hence part of her rather small size.  She was rarely hungry, but she lived with people who were hungry all the time, and Eliza was offering to make a batch big enough for everyone!  She wouldn’t have to make lunch!

She brought out salt, pepper, mustard, spring onion, lemon grass, and a green mix of dandelion leaves, chickweed, hawkbit, wild garlic, watercress, and various lettuces.  Thanks to Aries’ great desire for plant material, she and the kids were out and about as soon as new growth began.  Many of the greens they ate were weeds that were abundant in the city all year, except for the coldest part of the winter.  

She fetched a large bowl, a serving fork/spoon tongs, knives, and a cutting board.  She stood back, and watched Eliza at work.

It was obvious the woman liked to deal with food.  Phoenix guessed that she was good at it, she had been able to come up with the ingredients on the top of her head, after all.  Phoenix never would have been able to do that.   Her mystery meals, made from cans that were not labeled and therefore thrown away, were barely edible sometimes.  Her food combinations were not quite what one would call talented.  A boxed meal was the best kind for her cook, it had a better chance of coming out the way it was supposed to.

Eliza mixed and chopped and sprinkled and the phrase from only a few minutes earlier of cooking and cleaning and doing what she could around the lair took on a different meaning.  It had never crossed Phoenix’s mind that doing such things were anything but chores.  They were for her.  While her house was clean, it was something she made everyone do, only partly to teach the skill to her children.  She did not like the act of homemaking, she only liked the product once it was finished.  Necessity made her a single mother, and all that entailed, but much of the learning on how to do the more cozy aspects of the job were hard won on her part, and not part of a natural talent.

With a huge smile, she came around the other side of the table.  “We usually just eat it straight out of the can,” she said.  “I never thought to do something else with it.”

* * *

 

As Phoenix laid out the ingredients, Eliza started to clean and prep them. She was slightly taken aback by the quantity of foodstuffs she was given but she had offered to prepare enough for everyone. Even the mix of greens would last till the next day if they didn’t finish it all. She was used to making large meals by now and didn’t find it daunting. In fact she fell into the rhythm so easily that she was able to ask for and receive additional items without pausing the movement of her blade. **  
**

After preparing the bulk of the salads’ base of greens she made a simple dressing of lemon grass, garlic, salt, vinegar and oil. Setting it to the side to marinate as she started to address the cans of salmon. She shook her head in bemusement at Phoenix’s comment. “Well, that is one way to do it. But a bit of a waste I think.” She continued to open, drain and lightly rinse the fish as she talked. “I mean if you like it that way it’s fine but I would rather turn it into salmon cakes with a nice bread crumb crust or even a casserole with some fresh green beans. No reason you couldn’t do the same. Granted, you will have to substitute some of the more exotic spices I might normally use but the big advantage you have is freshness. I’m horrible at keeping anything more complicated than a cactus alive. You seem to have a green thumb and that will bring tons of flavor to a dish even if the ingredients themselves are fairly basic.” She finished placing all the fish in a separate bowl and set it aside.

Eliza grabbed a small spoon from the drawer she had observed her host pulling utensils out. She went to her dressing and dipped in to retrieve a taste. It was ok, but needed a little something. She rinsed the spoon before depositing it in the dressing and pushing the bowl toward Phoenix. “Here, taste this. I’m gonna work on the salmon. You can either put a teaspoon of honey in or a pinch more salt. This will be going on the greens and you know your family’s preferences.”

Eliza was silent for a few moments as she chopped onions, watercress, the rest of the lemon grass and some additional garlic. She mixed the fish and vegetables together lightly, keeping the flaky meat as intact as possible. She thinned the mustard down with some oil so that it was the consistency of a thick sauce rather than a paste and added salt and pepper before pouring it over the salmon mix. She tossed and tasted it, adding a dash of seasoning here and there till she was happy with the balance.

She retrieved the dressing from the healer and drizzled it over the salad greens in the large bowl and tossed. “Annndd… We’re done!” She said with a flare and presenting the dishes. “Best way to serve it is to let everyone take whatever balance of green and meat they like.” She smiled, feeling satisfied at a job accomplished, before addressing the Phoenix. “Will the children be home soon or should we dig in on our own?”

* * *

 

Phoenix watched with an open mouthed smile.   Eliza breezed through making of the meal in a way that Phoenix and her kids never could. None of them were great cooks, they could make an edible meal with what was available, but not on the level that Eliza was doing. Salmon cakes or a casserole? How did one even make salmon cakes or a casserole? **  
**

She took the spoon from as Eliza passed by her, and looked at the mixture nestled in it.  She slurped it in her mouth, and could not taste that it needed anything.  Honey? Salt? Her eyes darted back and forth nervously. In anxious desperation, she picked up the salt, and added a pinch to the dish.

Before she knew it, Eliza presented the feast with the flourish of a cook on a show.   It took her a moment to register the ferret’s question.   She blinked stupidly before shaking her head.  "I am not sure when the kids will be back,“ she admitted.   "It depends on how their  trip is going.”   She looked at the table as if the food had just appeared.  She blinked again, and then gestured to the table.   "Please, eat.,“ she did to her guest.

As if summoned by the command to eat, voices began to drift up from the open garden window.  

“Hurry up, Medusa,” said Aries.

“You hurry up,” the snake replied, “I’m carrying an entire transmission!  You just have a box of parts!”

“It’s a big box,” Aries countered, almost in a whine.

“Hold the door open, Aries,” Arcos’ voice drifted up the stairs from the bottom floor.  “You’re the only one with a free hand.”

Phoenix smiled sheepishly at Eliza.  “Looks like the kids are home.”  She gestured to the table again.  “Better eat, or there might not be anything left for you to eat.”

* * *

 

Eliza looked towards the window smiling before turning her attention back to her friend. “It does sound like they may be in the middle of something. Plus,” she laughed and patted her soft midsection. “now that my stomach’s awake I feel like better put something in there before it turns on me!” **  
**

She grabbed a  bowl, filling it with a generous helping of greens and a modest amount of the salmon mix. She had always been taught to be as demure as possible when accepting hospitality from someone else. It was so ingrained in her that she still did many things in the company of others that she wouldn’t when alone. For instance, at this moment she would rather have mostly salmon, almost as if her body was recognizing a source of proteins and vitamins that it had been denied for ages. However she knew that this has been a happy windfall for the family and would not interfere with their enjoyment of it. Especially since she had been told how much Acros was reveling in the find.

The vegetables on the other hand, had no such guilt attached to them. Phoenix was a gardener and would be able to replenish her supply. Besides, Eliza hadn’t had such a mix in a long time either and it was appetizing, not to mention it would fill her more. With her portion obtained she seated herself at the table but did not start on her meal.

Eliza folded her hands in her lap, lacing the fingers together, and bowed her head while closing her eyes. She offered a short blessing on the food and gratitude for her safe arrival as well as a plea that the day would be a continued success. All of this was done inside her head but with no less emotion or feeling than if she had been on a pulpit. To the outside observer it would only seem as if she had been placed on pause for a few moments.

After a whispered ‘Amen’ she rejoined the world around her.

The ferret took up her fork and folded the two salads together, making sure they were evenly distributed before stabbing her fork into the middle, prepared to enjoy her first mouthful. Before her laden utensil had traveled half the distance to her mouth she noticed Phoenix looking at her and returned it to her plate. 'What? Did I forget something?“ She laughed a little nervously, afraid she had made some sort of faux pa. "If you really would rather wait for them to join us, I can hold off. I’m pretty sure my plate will be safe.” She smiled at the healer, ignoring her angry stomach as it twisted in protest at the denial of food.

* * *

 

The Phoenix did not have the eyes, ears, or nose of a mutant, but her powers of observation had been paralleled by very few people she had met in the last 20 years.   She saw the disparage between Eliza’s salmon and greens,  and with all of her recent research on mustilids, she knew now that they were carnivores.   Even with the human DNA in her system, Phoenix suspected that Eliza was more carnivore than the salad showed.  The description that Eliza had given her about her rat chasing and eating episode pointed to a strong protein desired diet. **  
**

She watched Eliza lace her fingers, bow her head, and whisper “Amen”.   She recognized the gesture immediately, although she hasn’t seen it in almost 20 years.  Her own upbringing when visiting her devout Catholic grandmere had etched the vision in her psyche.  So,  Eliza VonHertz was a religious person.   It had been a long time since she had seen anyone do anything so openly spiritual.  A few of the Gray Cats still had the remnants of a religious life, she knew, but she hadn’t seen any of them display it, even in this small manner.  She knew psychologically that having a spiritual life was healthy, but she wasn’t sure how much fire and brimstone was involved in those studies, or in Eliza’s short blessing.

Phoenix went over to the bowl of salmon mixture and stabbed the serving spoon in it. She took a huge helping, and carried it over to Eliza’s plate, and plopped it on Eliza’s already mixed plate. “No,  we don’t have to wait for them,”  she jerked her head toward the stairs, her long, loose hair shaking slightly.  She smiled smugly, “Eat up.”

She began to make her own plate, a small amount of both mixtures, blended them  as she’d seen Eliza done. She  sat across from her at the table, and gently stabbed some with her fork.  Placing it in her mouth,  she closed her eyes and chewed slowly.   It tasted so decadent!  And to think she was going to simply eat it out of the can.

* * *

 

Eliza looked her now heaping plate and felt a twinge of defiance and annoyance at her meal being manipulated without her permission. But upon glancing at Phoenix’s face and feeling her presence, the ferret quickly backed down. It was apparent that she been out-mothered and any battle of wills would be a losing endeavor on her part. **  
**

“If you insist.” She said with a shrug, a hint of amusement slipped into her tone. While Phoenix made her plate, Eliza retrieved her fork and enjoyed her original mouthful. It was not a bad effort, she was right about the fresh ingredients making a difference, they more than made up for the lack of diversity in the flavors.

When the healer seated herself Eliza made a point to take a heaping forkful of salmon next. She had to admit that it appeased her cravings much more than the leafy vegetable base. She glanced at her friend to gauge her reaction and was happy to notice that she was enjoying the food. Eliza smiled as she reblended her plate. After a couple more mouthfuls the leading edge of her hunger had been dulled and she tackled the meal at a slower pace.

“Thanks for the lunch, its hitting the spot.” Eliza smiled and wiped a bit of dressing from the corner of her mouth. “Next time I come I’ll bring my recipe box. I haven’t used some of these greens before, but I think they would pair well with some of my regular dishes.”

She took another bite and chewed slowly, just enjoying the pleasant company. “Granted, I’m no top chef but I do fairly ok.” Eliza smiled and winked. “Someday I’ll make you desert, now that I can do WELL.”


	9. Chapter 9

“You’re the one who made the lunch!” Phoenix laughed incredulously.  “Why are you thanking me?” **  
**

Before Eliza could answer, a grizzly voice came through the stairwell,  “Someone’s making dessert?”  Arcos came into view in the doorway, a smile on his muzzle.

“No,” Phoenix scolded, “no dessert.  But Eliza made this salad out of the salmon we found!”  She twirled her fork about above her plate, showing off the food-riches she’d received.   She twirled the fork, full of salmon salad, and put it into her mouth with a flourish.    

Arcos laughed in reply, passing the kitchen table to get to the sink.  He turned on the water, and soaped up his hands.  “I can eat that,” he said, rinsing his hands off, and grabbing himself a plate.  He served himself a heaping helping of both the greens and the meat portion, before seating himself at an empty seat at the table.  

“You’re brother and sister not coming up?” Phoenix asked.

Arcos stopped with a forkful of food halfway to his mouth.  It might have looked rather ridiculous to an outside onlooker, with the giant bear man holding a human sized fork in his great paw between two fingers, a green and pink mixture perched on the end of it, and his muzzle open to receive it.  He looked over at his mother without moving his head, as if he did so the salmon salad would disappear from the end of the fork.  “They’re going to the cargo bay,” he said, “I didn’t feel like dealing with that.”  He put the tip of his fork in his mouth slowly, raising his lips and taking the salad off of it with this teeth.  He closed his eyes, and chewed slowly, before swallowing.  “Plus, I smelled salmon,” he turned to Eliza and smiled.  “This is so good,” he crooned.  He then turned to his mother playfully, “Why don’t you make things like this?”

“Because the fact that we can eat my food period is a miracle in and of itself,” she replied dryly, looking at Eliza , not at Arcos.

Arcos, also looking at Eliza now, leaned in and asked, “WIll you stay for dinner?”

“What he means is,” Phoenix said, “will you cook dinner?”

Arcos snuffled in his approximation of a chuckle.  “Will you cook us dinner?” he asked, blinking his big, brown eyes rapidly, the edges of his muzzle curling up in a smile.

* * *

 

She watched the exchange between mother and son with amusement as Eliza continued to work on her meal slowly. She was both the center of the conversion and on the outskirts of it. She returned Acros’ smile pleased that he was enjoying the meal but had to control herself from spraying her food while chuckling at her companions dry but playful exchange. **  
**

Eliza took a moment to collect herself, keenly aware the attention was focused on her again. At his request she couldn’t hold back from laughing directly in Acros’ face though she made a belated attempt to hide her muzzle behind one hand. Was he seriously batting his eyes at her? Still there was some part of her that was intensely satisfied and flattered at the blatant plea for another meal.

“If I’m still here then I guess I don’t really mind.” She smiled and popped a chunk of salmon in her mouth, chewing it quickly as she waggled her fork in his direction. She swallowed and gave him a teasing smile. “Though you should know my policy before you ask again. First one’s free, after that you either help or offer something of equal value.” She nodded her head in Phoenix’s direction. “And the arrangement between your mom and I doesn’t trickle down to you kids.”

She laughed heartily, letting the table know that she was kidding, mostly. While she loved being generous with her time and talents, she had been taken advantage of before and was careful about overextending herself. Granted, she measured what that meant on a scale all her own, that was both relative and flexible. But a standard existed all the same.

“Kidding aside, I’m glad that you like it.” She gave Phoenix and her son a wide smile. “It’s always fun to cook for different tastes.” Eliza looked over their shoulders into the kitchen. “Granted if we make this” she waved her hand to include the table. “A regular thing I may have to root through your cabinets to see what I want to bring with me next time. But for as for tonight I will see what I can do.“ Her tone was light and accommodating, and she tipped her head happily before returning her attention to her plate once again.

* * *

 

“If we make this a regular thing,” Phoenix repeated Eliza’s words, “You will bring nothing with you.  You will tell us what you need, and we will get it.”  While her voice was good natured, it was not joking in the least.   She chewed another mouthful of salmon, and swallowed, “However, I shall not complain if you want to make it a regular thing.”  It was nice to have good food to eat, and to sit down at the table like civilized people to eat it.  The Grey Cats had some amazing cooks in their midst, but they never sat and ate communally, at least when she was there.  The dining table was a place to relax and enjoy the company of others, one could not do it if one did not sit at the dining table. **  
**

She rarely got to see this side of Arcos directed at anyone other than her.  It was not a way he normally related to his siblings, he had no reason to charm them.  He could simply bully them if he really wanted to, though bullying was not his style.  He usually just did whatever it was he wanted on his own if he could not elicit the help he wanted.  Then he brooded about how no one helped him.

He wasn’t brooding right now, though, he looked as if he was thoroughly enjoying himself.  Phoenix gazed at him adoringly when she wasn’t looking at Eliza, and admired the man her son had become.  He would have been a fine thing indeed, if she had been able to keep a stronger hold on the kids against the gang that consisted of their only friends.  But them having friends, having a community, was more important than raising a fine, civilized man who could never do anything with it.

* * *

 

Arcos beamed when his eye batting got a full out, almost-spray-food-in-the-face laugh from Eliza.  He rarely got that kind of reaction from anyone other than his family, his sense of humor was much too dry for most people to find funny.  Her chuckle was cute, a sort of snarf that matched the shape of her muzzle beautifully.  She was pretty when she smiled fully, like she was supposed to, with her teeth showing, her two canines poking out over her bottom lip, the front of her tapering muzzle stretched out, bringing attention to her nose.  Aries was right, she was definitely nice to look at.

She waggled her fork in his face in a sassy way, much like her reactions at the park the last time they’d met her, and it was his turn to laugh outright, a deep, grizzled sound, like an underwater stream drifting up from a cave.  He put his hands in a nnn  of surrender, his fork still in one of his palms.  “Nothing trickles down from my mother to her kids,” he said,  “Her kids earn their accolades themselves.”  He ignored the blatant guffaw that came him from his mother.  While his mother was not a bad cook, she wasn’t a good one either.  None of them were.  They all made satisfactory food, good enough to eat.  Arcos doubted that  Medusa would even eat prepared meals at all if it wasn’t for the boys and their mother, she would simply forage for live game.  “You tell me what to do,” he instructed, still looking at Eliza joyfully,  “and it’s yours.”  He put another spoonful of salmon in his mouth, and half closed his eyes as he enjoyed it.   He opened them again after he swallowed, pulling his lips back in an expressive grin.  “Your wish is my command.” 

* * *

 

The ferret was enjoying the young bear’s playful smile and his laugh was deep in a rumbling way that she felt it as much as heard it. It was interesting that he claimed autonomy from his mother and that he and his siblings were divorced from any benefits resulting from the familial association. Phoenix’s short sarcastic laugh showed that she didn’t buy the statement.   **  
**

Though Eliza was sure that Acros and his siblings were independent enough to have plenty of their own merits, glancing at the healer she was equally as sure that others identified them through the Phoenix. After all it was how Eliza herself saw them at the moment. In time she would probably come to know them all better, but for the moment they were more or less lumped together as her friend’s children. She let out a small huff of amusement at the irony of it being the opposite of herself when back home in Missouri. There she was more often known as ‘Gwyn’s Mom’ thanks to her daughter’s bubbly personality and involvement in multiple clubs and activities.

She laughed at Acros’ feigned surrender and easy smile. It was nice to know that she would have an ready assistant should Eliza need it. When he ate the salmon with exaggerated bliss she was flushed with a mix of embarrassment and happiness at the non verbal compliment. It was decided there and then that she and Acros would get along fabulously.

“If wishes were fishes, we’d all be casting nets.” She smiled as propped her chin on her fist. “Who knew it worked the other way around. That I could use fish to net some wishes.” Eliza noted that his smile widened even more and she found that it suited him, with his large canines gleaming and his expressive eyes sparkling.

Eliza turned to the healer and could detect a hint of a threat in Phoenix’s insistence that the ferret was not to augment their kitchen on her own. She made a noncommittal sound, it could be interpreted as compliance though she did not mean it as such. This would be another instance where she would just have to engage in guerrilla generosity. What could Phoenix really do if she just showed up with something? Ban her from cooking? Send her home? It was possible, but she’d be shooting herself in the proverbial foot. Eliza smiled, almost looking forward to the game of wills, granted she would have to cede a few points here and there to the healer, but it would all be in good fun.

“This is nice. I don’t know how often I can come but when I do we’ll definitely make the most of it.” She smiled at her friend. Determined to make the moments they could share as pleasant as circumstances would allow.

Eliza finished her plate and pushed it slightly away from her, she was completely full. “For the moment though I am very satisfied.” She glanced at her tablemates. “I will need to have a rummage through the fridge later unless you know what you’d like me to make. It can wait till later, after we’ve cleaned up and attended to other” her slight pause was barely noticeable as she searched for an appropriate term. “business.” 

* * *

 

With Eliza’s mention of ‘other business’, as if she uttered magic words, the jovial attitude changed to one of a bit more seriousness.  Arcos, still smiling, began to eat what little was left of his salmon salad with great scoops of his fork, and Phoenix pushed what was left of hers toward him.  He eagerly, without a word, took the plate and finished it off too. **  
**

As he was eating, his mother stood up, and began to gather the dishes and utensils that were not longer being used.  “You are welcome to rummage through all the cabinets we have,” she said to Eliza.  “If the salmon salad was off the top of your head, then we’ll have a gourmet meal if you actually have time think about it!”

She turned, to see Eliza helping to clear the table, and made a move to take the things from Eliza’s hands, but then stopped.  The woman wanted to help, Phoenix realized, and felt a surge of stupidity for not having realized the reason why earlier.  The woman was a widow, she’d been in charge of everything in her and her daughter’s life for the past two years, was it?  She was used to be in charge of her household, and she obviously enjoyed, at least some, of the aspects of household-dom more than the Phoenix herself did.  Her cooking alone attested to that.

Arcos grabbed everything else on the table, and delivered it to the fridge for cold storage.  He wasn’t going to let food, in any shape, form, or fashion go to waste.  They had to work much too hard for it in the winter, and the winter itself was still too fresh in his mind to be careless yet.  Let it wait until the fall, when food was bountiful, both in the garden and out foraging, then one could be less careful.

He closed the fridge, and turned to his mother and Eliza.  “I will be in the studio,” he said.  “Call me if you need anything.”

The Phoenix gave her son an adoring look.  “Alright.”

The bear reached over and kissed his mother gently on the lips, having to almost bend down to half his height to do so.  He looked at Eliza, and gave her a nod and a smile, before heading to the stairs.

Once he had disappeared, Phoenix turned to Eliza, and smiled reassuringly.  “I can see,” she said in a quiet voice, “that you are eager to get down to business.”  Phoenix didn’t blame her.  If she was in her shoes, she’d want to get down to business too. 

* * *

 

Eliza took the dishes she had gathered over to the industrial sink and set them on the adjacent counter top. The ferret-woman turned to retrieve what was left on the table but saw that it was being taken care of already. It was nice to see that Acros was helping without having to be asked. Having lived with teenage boys, not to mention her own daughter, she knew from experience that it was not a trait to take for granted. She smiled as Acros bent to kiss his mother. He was just going downstairs and yet it warranted an affectionate departure. Her first impression upon stepping onto this floor was correct, this was a family brimming with love. Eliza returned his nod and gave him a small wave as he headed for the stairs, idly wondering if he was going to work on the painting she had seen earlier, before turning back to the sink. **  
**

She was so used to her post meal cleaning routine that Eliza had grabbed a sponge and put a dab of dish soap on it just as Phoenix addressed her. She looked at the woman a and appreciated the comforting smile but turned away to contemplate the slowly filling basin in front of her. Perhaps she was in more of a hurry to find out what was happening to her more than she was willing to admit. After all, the results could change her life even more then her recent mutation. If she was pregnant she had issues bigger than simple shedding or odd cravings to worry about.

Eliza didn’t look at her friend as she addressed her in the same soft tone. “I guess I’m a little bit more anxious then I realized to get some answers.” The ferret-woman rolled up her sleeves towards her elbows. The edge of wrapped bandages became visible on both arms. She began to wash the dishes as she spoke. “I’ve had a lot of time to think over this past week. Maybe too much time, and knowing what’s wrong with me will make a huge difference in some of the choices I have in front of me.”

She finally looked and gave a weak smile as Phoenix joined her at the sink to help in the chore. “I’m sorry that I brought the mood down. I really was enjoying the meal and talking with you both. I just have this constant niggling thought in the back of my mind that is hard to ignore. Am I or aren’t I?” Eliza passed her another dish to rinse and dry. “It’s pretty ironic really, I had prayed for another child for years before Grant got too sick for it to be a viable option for us anymore.” The ferret huffed a small laugh at herself. “Now the thought of that prayer being answered, frankly, terrifies me.”


	10. Chapter 10

Choices in front of her?  What choices in front of her?  Where she was going to live?  How she was going to live?  What kind of choices could the woman possibly have that being pregnant would make a huge difference in them?  She would still have to live somewhere, hidden from humanity.  She would still have to figure out a way to care for an infant.  Even with money, and with humans to do the shopping for her, she would be hard pressed for someone not to notice a 12 year old always shopping alone and buying diapers and baby wipes.  There could be no huge difference, only small ones. **  
**

Perhaps the huge difference had to do with her host, their Master she had called him.  Phoenix did not like the sound of a Master of anyone, certainly not one that would be so blatant as to call himself that.  Perhaps he didn’t.  Perhaps Eliza referred to him as that because she could think of no other way to do so.   Did the Grey Cats refer to Chategris as their master?  She wasn’t sure, she realized she never heard anyone refer to him as anything other than Chategris or him.  But the word ‘their’ denoted more than one, so this was a group of mutants.  Would they not readily accept another member of their household?  Even Chategris, who probably saw no use for infants whatsoever, would accept one with open arms as an additional member of his group.  Or, perhaps he’d send it to her first, and then accept it after it was grown a little.  But she decided to stay with him…she shrugged the thought off.  There would be no infants or staying with Chategris in her future, so there was no need to contemplate it.

Phoenix kept her eyes on the dishes she was rinsing in the cold water coming from the faucet, as they’d never been able to get to hot water heater to work.  She placed each wet dish on the dish rack, and shook her head at Eliza’s apology.  “There is no need to be sorry,” she said.  “That is why you are here in the first place.”  She glanced up  to see Eliza’s face, which was still looking at what she washing, her face filled with a type of scared desperation.  She saw, with the ferret’s sleeves rolled up, the bandages on her elbows. A fear gripped her, what had Eliza done that she needed bandages on one of the most easily accessible veins on her body?   She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would intentionally hurt herself, but then, one could never know.  Desperation made people do things they would never normally do.  “It looks as if someone else was trying to find something out,” she said, motioning to Eliza’s arms with her head.  Please let that be right, and it not be a suicide attempt.

* * *

 

She saw Phoenix motion towards the now visible bandages and felt embarrassed that she could have been so careless. Still, Eliza supposed that there was no way around an explanation, the healer would have seen them at some point or other that day. **  
**

“It was an accident.” She shrugged her shoulders trying to downplay the incident. “Do you remember the teenager I told you about last week? The girl Gwyn was having a sleepover with?” The ferret saw Phoenix nod her head as she handed her another dish. “Well, her father was mutated as well, but unfortunately he did not retain his ability to reason. He became more animal than human. He’s roaming the city, unable to understand that they are just trying to help.”

Eliza had to pause, swallowing the lump trying to take up residence in her throat. No matter the lot she had drawn, she knew she was better off than what had happened to Kirby O'Neil. “Anyway, one of the boys I live with, Donnie, is trying to cure him. He thinks that we were both altered by the same batch of mutagen and so I am the best subject to analyze and test on.” She passed her friend the last of cleaned dishes and reached for hand towel to dry the fur on her forearms.

After drying she put the towel down she pushed the sleeve on her left arm up higher and quickly unraveled the bandages. “He usually takes samples from this side.” She showed the healer her inner arm, a shaved strip making the track marks evident. Some of the pinprick punctures were old and barely visible, others still fresh with light bruising. “Yesterday he couldn’t hit the vein. Guess it collapsed from too many draws.” She took in a large breath, more like sigh, and moved to repeat the process on her right arm.

This time she moved with greater care, the bandages taking on a pinkish tint the further she went. “Unfortunately, he didn’t fair to well on this side either.” The last layer fell away to reveal an arm that was deep purple and blue, the bruise extending past the shaved part of her arm, its true size hidden by her fur. A sterile pad was stuck in the crook of her elbow, rusted reddish brown with dried blood. “He hit an artery by accident. It took a while for the bleeding to stop and I may have fainted.”

She looked at Phoenix guiltily, like a child caught playing in puddles while wearing their Sunday best. “I remembered what you said about being anemic, so I was taking iron pills. He wanted samples the day we meet but I was able to stall him till yesterday. I didn’t think a couple of vials would make a difference. Of course I wasn’t expecting this.” She relaxed her arms an let them fall to her sides. “Still, his work is important, so being an occasional pin cushion is worth it if Donnie can succeed in making a retro-mutagen. Don’t you think?”

* * *

 

Phoenix blinked at Eliza, and knew she was taking much too long to answer her question.  She had to repeat everything Eliza said in her head to make sure she heard her correctly.  At first, her attention was drawn to a mutant who was more animal than human, being unable to understand someone wanting to help him.  A great gush of pity went out to this man whom she didn’t even know, she didn’t even know what he’d been mutated into, who could no longer reason.  She’d never met a mutant that couldn’t, but then, why would she?  It would not be they who came to her for help, now would it? **  
**

Her attention was ripped from that feeling, deep but fleeting, by “…one of the boys I live with is trying to cure him…”  She repeated the phrase in her head over and over, quite sure that she had misheard and something wasn’t clicking with her brain.  A cure?  How can there be a cure for a mutation?

As Eliza unwrapped her arms, she felt her face contort to something that must have been unpleasant, because the feeling that bubbled up was horror.  Her arm looked like Aries had stomped on it.  The people she was living with had the apparatus to take blood?  To anaylize  it?  To try to create a cure for mutation?

“…making a retromutagen.  Don’t you agree?” she heard Eliza say, but it was if her voice was coming from the television in the background, as if the question wasn’t being asked of her.

She reached out and took Eliza’s arm, bringing it up to her to examine it without her permission.  Where the fur had been shaved, the purple of her skin was hot from bruising.  Resting Eliza’s elbow in her hand, she ran her finger over the crook of her elbow, removing the stuck sterile pad with the motion, the light that felt like ants lazily working its way from her hands to her thumb to the skin of the ferret.  The pricks on her arm began to close over with skin, the little red dots disappearing completely, purple of the bruise slowly began to turn black, and then fade to green, then yellow, and then only a slight tinge of beige was left when the ants no longer gathered in her palms.  She let go of Eliza’s arm, and looked up to her face, not sure at all what she must have looked like, because she could think of absolutely nothing to say.

“A retromutagen?” she managed to strangle out, as if she was being choked and her larynx wouldn’t work right.  It was all that she could get to come out of her mouth, but she wasn’t sure how it got from her brain to her tongue.

* * *

 

When the ferret exposed her arms she had expected some sort of reaction. However the look of horror bordering on disgust the healer was giving her was a bit more extreme than she had anticipated. After all, she had to imagine that the woman had seen much worse in her adopted line of work.

As the silence between them grew heavier Eliza began to fidget, shifting from one foot to the other. Perhaps it had been a mistake to tell her about the role Eliza played in Donatello’s efforts. Before she could follow that train of thought any farther Phoenix took her abused arm and began to examine it without saying a word.

As the healer’s soft touch danced across the bruised flesh Eliza began to feel a warm tingling sensation and it took all her willpower not to jerk away. Then before her eyes the medicine woman’s fingertips began to glow and the wounded skin began to change color. Eliza looked on in awe as the skin healed and the pain decreased till all but slightest hint of any injury was completely gone. When the healer released her arm she couldn’t help but brush her fingertips across the area. She was amazed that her prodding did not induce pain, only the slight throbbing of her pulse, as it should be, was present.

She was pulled from her examination by Phoenix’s strangled question, and looking into her eyes there was confusion,  but also a hint of outrage and fear. Eliza now felt that she had traversed into territory that she shouldn’t have. Regardless, she felt compelled to expound on the issue since the healer had obviously asked for clarification. “Y-yes. Donnie thinks that he can find a way to reverse the mutation, to make us human again.” She tried to smile but the look on her friends’ face made her shrink instead. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by the need to justify the effort, Donnie and herself.

“I know that it’s taking a lot longer than he thought it would but… but the kid is a bonafide genius. I’m sure that Donnie will find a cure.” She began to wring her hands and avoided looking into the healer’s eyes. “He promised April. He would do anything to keep a promise to her. He won’t rest until she has her father back. Once he has perfected the formula and saved Kirby, th…then it will be my turn.”

She snuck a glance at Phoenix, trying to judge her reaction but couldn’t determine how she was feeling. Flustered she strode out of the kitchen and seated herself at the table, folded her arms and stared at the peeling formica. “I want my body back. I want Gwyn to be safe, away from this crazy city. I want the two of us to go home and live the lives we were meant to live.” She didn’t look up but sensed her friend’s approach. “So I will do everything I can to help him. But,” she swallowed the lump trying to form in her throat. “if I am pregnant, then I have an obligation to keep the baby safe. Even if means staying a mutant.”

* * *

 

Phoenix chewed on her lip as Eliza stormed out of the kitchen.  The woman had quite an air about her as she did so, frightened but present.  As she had stuttered her explanation of what was happening in her life, Phoenix felt that her emotions were being batted about her heart.   Reverse the mutation?  What kind of sick person would tell a mutant that they could reverse the mutation process?  So the kid was a bona fide  genius.  Surely other bona fide geniuses had tried to reverse the process.  If this mutant…kid…had access to this kind of equipment, then surely there were other mutants out there, or human’s related to mutants, who also had access.  Adults, with a better education, with more experience.  She had been angry, angry for Eliza at being lied to, angry at the people whom with she was staying, they did not seem to be much help at all in her plight, angry at Eliza for falling for such a ploy. **  
**

But the anger and disgust evaporated when Eliza said, “I want my body back.”  Compassion and guilt flooded in the space they had left in her heart.  While Phoenix saw the miracle of Eliza’s body for what it was, a strong, vibrant, healthy creation, a perfect blend of ferret and human, especially compared to many mutants out there, that did not mean it was the desired outcome of any experience.  It was not a human body.  She could not walk in the light of day, she could not live in an apartment, she could not take her Gwyn away from this crazy city.  She was stuck here, for the remainder of her life, to live in the shadows and be a monster that haunted the nightmares of children.  

Phoenix had wondered many times about the beginning of ones mutation, how hard it must be on them, both physically and emotionally.  She had not experienced it, she had only become homeless, she had not been exiled to live a life in the night where she could not be seen by the rest of humanity.  She could go about wherever she pleased, whenever she pleased throughout the entire city, or beyond.  And there had never been the promise given to her of making things aright.  This was the life she had, there was no changing it.  But Eliza was being fed a plate of sweet tasting fabrications. That this was fixable, that she would be able to go back to the way things were.

She walked over to the table, shame welling up with each step as Eliza continued to talk.  When the ferret did not look up, the Phoenix sank down in the chair next to her, putting her hands on her knees and facing the ferret.  She wanted to say, “You are not obligated to do anything,” but that would feeding into the lie that her hosts were perpetuating with her, so she said the next thing that came to mind, the same thing she’d told herself and her children, and so many of her patients so many times.   “Perhaps,” she said gently, shrugging, “this is the life you were meant to live.”

* * *

 

When Phoenix sat next to her and posed the thought that this existence, shamed, shunned and disfigured, was what her life had been building towards, it was all she could do to reign in her anger. As it was, she felt her lip lift to expose her prominent canines and a slight growl escaped before she schooled her features to a blank calm. She knew who she was, or at least who she used to be. She had a place within society and fulfilled her role with competence and enthusiasm. It was this world that she didn’t belong in. A place full of fighting, mutants, catastrophes and aliens, where she was alone and isolated. **  
**

As she attempted to calm her temper she closed her eyes and tried to think clearly. Phoenix had been living this life for a long time, decades compared to Eliza’s scant months. Of course she would have a different perspective on life as a mutant. She obviously loved her children, all unique from each other, and wouldn’t be put off by the differences. Just as she had readily accepted and comforted Eliza on the night they meet. Phoenix was secure in her role in this world. She had a purpose. She had family. Eliza was adrift, her presence was tolerated but not necessarily needed, and though she had Gwynevere, she was separated from all the people in her life that she had come to think of as family.

Now she was faced with the prospect of having a new family. In a way it was fulfilling the goal she had when embarking on this trip. To become whole again, to find someone who could love her and Gwyn equally and chase away the silence that permeated their home. She thought that Lee had been the one who would fill that role. Her heart twitched with pain at the thought of him. She had only been looking for an acceptable suitor, she hadn’t meant to fall for him so hard. Now that night of stolen passion was proving to have some very long lasting consequences. She would have happily borne his child, but not like this, she hadn’t chosen this. _‘Decisions determine destiny’_ The quote came to mind and cut away all her excuses, she had made her choice that night, she would just have to live with the consequences.

The ferret-woman took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She didn’t like to wallow in self pity, but the challenges she had faced so far in life had in no way prepared her for this. But it was not as if she was without examples to look towards. Splinter had had his life changed just as dramatically, yet he took up the mantle of father-hood to raise the boys. She looked over at the small healer, waiting patiently for her response. The Phoenix was a woman, of unique abilities, who had chosen to raise mutant children despite being human enough to walk the streets during the day. She would not be alone if she had to parent a mutant child, it was a small pool from which to seek guidance, but at least it was better than nothing.

Eliza nodded her head twice, unable to find the right words to express all that she was feeling. With a cleansing breath she gathered her wits back around her. Wrapping herself in a cloak of logic and determination she set her emotions and fears aside till they could be either be confirmed or denied. She sat up and squared her shoulders, turning slightly face the Phoenix, her hands falling to her lap to become a mirror of the smaller woman’s posture.

“You may be right.” She said with more strength than she truly felt. “But there is no use in making that decision till we know all the facts.” She took a small breath and released it in a huff through her nose, her body relaxing slightly with the act. “I’m ready to find out.” Eliza tilted her head and smiled softly. “After all, destiny waits for no man, or ferret.”


	11. Chapter 11

Phoenix blinked placidly at Eliza baring her teeth.  When she growled, she had an initial reaction of flight or fight, as she always did.  While she’d live among mutants for almost 20 years, she had not yet been able to completely eliminate that response.  However, it was always very quick, not even a moment, before it was replaced by the placidity of knowing it was a mutant showing their anger.  When her children had been very young, she had tried to eliminate the behavior, but had completely been unable to do so.    Since meeting the Grey Cats, she had found not a single mutant who did not act in the same way, and she related it to her own initial fight or flight feeling.  It was something that the body simply did, and there was not much one could do about it.  But like most mutants, the gesture of aggression lasted only a few moments, before the mind of self conscious being managed to quell the reaction.   **  
**

As Eliza closed her eyes, obviously in an attempt to stay calm, Phoenix felt another wave of pity overtake her.   The ferret had really thought there was a chance that she would be human again.  She had really put her life on hold, for months, for months, and was willing to put it on hold for many more, to hold onto a lie.   And now that lie was being shattered.  It must be harder than being turned into a mutant in the first place, she thought.  

She felt a conflict in her heart for her hosts, the pity not extending to them.  They had offered her and her daughter a place to live, and some semblance of home that Eliza could keep believing the lie they had fed her.  They had kept her safe, obviously protecting her from Kraangdroids and telling her not to go out and about alone.  She would have given the exact same advice had Eliza been staying in her household.  Yet, these same people seem to have forbidden a grown woman from going out and about on her own, quite a different thing than advising it.  The ferret seemed afraid of them, slightly, so that she had to sneak, like a teenager does to meet friends that their parents do not approve of.  That rankled Phoenix.  Her own children had the freedom to roam the city between home and the cargo bay at 13, and now, at 19, they were free to do whatever they pleased.  Granted, she pulled the mother card occasionally, especially when it came to playing superhero, but as a parent she felt she was allowed to do that, even with her adult children.

When Eliza opened her eyes again, she nodded twice, as if coming to some sort of decision in her mind and said, “You may be right, but there is no use in making that decision until we have all of the facts.”  Poor thing, Phoenix wanted to enfold the ferret mutant in her arms and whisk the lie away, DrssAàeven now, she still holds onto the hope that there is something that can be done about her mutation.

“Indeed,” Phoenix answered to Eliza’s last statement, “it waits for no woman, bear, sheep, or snake either.  If you figure out how to get it to do so,” she winked, “let me know.“

She leaned back in the chair, and regarded Eliza, bringing to the forefront of her mind what she had found out about pregnancy, in humans and ferrets.  “The only real way to know if you are pregnant,” said Phoenix, “is to have an x-ray or ultrasound to see if there is a little one in there, or to actually pop out a baby.  Since neither of those are an option, we can surmise, just as we’ve been doing.”

She paused for the ferrets response, her mind running over with the information she’d gathered.

“But surmising could lead to the wrong conclusion,” she admitted.  “Ferrets can commonly have false pregnancies, that they carry to full term, only to deliver a placenta.  Occasionally it happens to human beings too.  It could be that.”  She spoke slowly and firmly, in a professional manner.  “And all of your symptoms could also be attributed to many other things.  Since I do not know what your stomach measurements were before I met you,” she blushed at such an intimate and sensitive topic, “I can’t say if you’re belly has grown or not.   I can do an internal exam and see if I feel anything,” she suggested, still blushing, “but to be honest, I am not entirely sure what I should be feeling for in the first place.”  She took a deep breath, and said what she’d been considering since Eliza had told her that she’d money.  “However, you could always pee on a stick.”  She chuckled, hoping to soften the blow of her rather dismal help.

* * *

 

Eliza’s smile stretched a little farther at the Phoenix’s rejoinder. She put one arm on the table and propped her head in her hand, giving herself a small scritch behind the ear as she gave her full attention to the healer. Her commentary on the type of equipment that would be ideal made Eliza think of Donatello’s lab. No doubt that he would have some kind of device capable of performing the task they needed, or able to build it without too much effort. However without a plausible excuse how could she gain access to it or know how to operate it correctly. She might mention it as a useful tool to have while hunting mutagen, but that still wouldn’t get the device into her hands. **  
**

“… or to actually pop out a baby.” Though she knew that her companion had made the statement flippantly she still shook her head as she awaited a pause in the conversation. “Waiting is definitely NOT an option. I’m already going half crazy and it’s been barely a week of just thinking it was a possibility. About the equipment, there may be a chance of acquiring something that could fit the bill, but I would rather wait to see if it is actually needed. For the sake of argument, lets assume that I am pregnant. What then?”

The ferret listened carefully and analyzed what Phoenix had to say. Playing out the different scenarios in her head. The thought of a false pregnancy was almost more horrific than carrying a child. To spend all that time thinking that you were nurturing new life, preparing to welcome a baby into the world only to produce a medical byproduct of an over imaginative mind and one’s own defective body. On top of all else she was dealing with, Eliza was genuinely afraid that such a blow would sever her sometimes tenuous hold on reality. No, she needed a definitive answer one way or another.

She was somewhat amused by Phoenix’s comment on her waist size. As a seamstress she was keenly aware of her own measurements. She’d spent some of her free time her first couple of weeks in the lair sitting quietly and observing while she made alterations to the outfits she had brought with her on her vacation to NYC. Mostly adding button flys to the seat seams to accommodate her tail. But she had also had to take in some of the more formal pieces, that didn’t contain elastic, at the waist. Her height had increased and thus redistributed some of her bulk over other parts of her new frame. She had the measurements written in a notebook back at the lair. She would have to remember to bring it with her next time. Still, it was not the most reliable method, she hadn’t shown with Gwyn till she was in her sixth month.

If her face was still capable of showing a blush through her pelt, Eliza would have easily matched Phoenix’s reddening face at the mention of an internal exam. Granted, if the signs were correct she would have to face the inevitability of such procedures in the future. However the healer’s admitted lack of experience in the area left the idea to die a lonely death. She was not going to go there until it was absolutely necessary and her caretaker had a better grasp of what was involved.        

“However, you could always pee on a stick.” Her friend gave a slightly nervous chuckle as she concluded her proposal of methods. Eliza let out a puff of relief and eyed the Phoenix, trying to determine if she had been pulling her leg or if she had genuinely thought that simplest solution should be saved for last. The ferret could see that she was sincere and perhaps even a bit hesitant in her final suggestion.

“I think I’ll go with door number three.” She quipped in a deadpan voice but smiled so that there would be no hurt feelings. She looked out the windows and saw that there was plenty of daylight left in the afternoon. The tour, talk and meal had caused a few pleasant hours to pass but with the days growing longer the sun would still be up for many hours yet to come. “I’m not familiar with the area but there’s bound to be a pharmacy or market around, right?” She shrugged her shoulders and tipped her head to the side. “We could probably go out and I’d still have time to prepare dinner when we get back. Maybe even with a bit extra to make the meal special.” Smiling she got up and made her way over to her backpack and pulled a wallet clutch out of the front pocket. Lifting it in the air and waggling it back and forth, she cocked her hip and propped her other hand on her waist.

“Luckily I came prepared. If you’re flyin’ I’m buyin’.” She smiled full and genuine, happy to have something tangible to do. Besides, Eliza still enjoyed shopping trips, even if she was only experiencing them vicariously. “So, what do ya say?”

* * *

 

The  sight of the wallet made Phoenix’s clench slightly.  She hadn’t realized, all those years ago, when she had carried one,  that a wallet could tell so much about a person.   By the look of the clutch Eliza was a girlie-girl . The fact it was a clutch at all spoke of an inherent femininity.   When she had carried one, it had been a cloth folding one with a snap,  the feminine version of a man’s wallet. **  
**

But seeing the ferret-woman smile in such a genuine way,  with her teeth slightly showing, made the feeling evaporate.  This had lifted the mutant’s spirits in a way that surprised Phoenix.  She would have thought That the idea of going about in broad daylight would be harrowing, but it seemed to invigorate Eliza.

Going to a store, buying something with money, being seen by regular humans, doing regular things, and doing a regular thing herself.  In the past year, she’d done more of that than she had in the last twenty.  But then, that was her plan in the first place…Eliza certainly couldn’t go into the pharmacy and buy something, and Phoenix herself would not send a teenager in to do it.

“There is a convenient store about 4 miles from here,” Phoenix explained.  Seeing the look on Eliza’s face, she smiled ruefully, “We like to stay isolated.”

She began to walk to the kitchen window and then chuckled. Of course, they would not be traveling on the rooftops today. It would be walking in the street. She turned, a smile on her face, and headed toward the stairs. “ Guess we better get walking,” she looked at Eliza’s sheepishly.  "I would drive us, but the car attracts a lot of attention, especially during the day. ’  she brightened suddenly,  a light bulb going on in her head.“ Or if you would rather, I can run down there real quick, and you can stay here. ” 

* * *

 

Eliza felt a bit crestfallen when Phoenix told her just how far away the store was. It wasn’t that she was incapable of the 8 mile round trip, but doing so in the daytime would put a damper on their pace. As it happened to her far too often, she would have the desire to indulge in what would have been a normal activity without completely thinking through how her mutation would fully keep her from participating in it. She knew she couldn’t go into the store but had thought that she could at least accompany her friend there. But four miles there and four miles back, at least part of the time in full disguise, just did not appeal to her. Not to mention that she was sure the healer would be able to travel faster and easier if Eliza wasn’t there to hinder her progress.

Hiding her disappointment she smiled wider, causing her eyes to crinkle into crescent moons. “Great idea!” She opened her bright teal leather wallet, the stylized ladybug motif adding bold pops of black, white and red, to retrieve a few bills. The clutch was a birthday gift from Gwyn last year that her daughter had proudly picked out by herself.

The two of them, with Mikey tagging along on the promise of being treated to some take-out, had made an evening run to the ATM three days ago. She had Gwyn withdrawal a few hundred dollars, enough to cover the shopping she wanted April to do and provide for incidentals for the next few weeks, but not so much as to raise any red flags from banking authorities. She waited in the shadows of the closest ally while Michelangelo kept a rooftop vigil as Gwyn cheerfully visited the ATM then popped into a nearby Italian restaurant. The girl placed her order then sat at the counter chatting with the cashier, making sure to stay in full view of the large storefront window.

Eliza looked on with a mixture of pride and jealousy that night. Gwyn was a people person and shone with exuberance when given the opportunity to talk to someone new, making friends was as natural and easy for her as breathing. It wounded the ferret that she couldn’t do these simple tasks herself, but was relegated to hiding in the dark, relying on her child to do them instead. Gwyn smiled, laughed and chatted before retrieving the order and coming back to the alley with a pizza and two cheese steaks. The children were loud and happy as they ate in a nearby playground, empty for the night. However Eliza was silent, wondering how it would affect Gwyn, her social child of light, if the potential pregnancy required them to remain isolated in the shadows.

Eliza snapped out of her ruminations, realizing that she had counted the same bill three times. Trying to play off her pause as mental calculations she pulled out three twenty dollar bills, still crisp and unused, and handed them to Phoenix. “There, that should cover it. Just to be on the safe side you should probably get two different brands, just to make sure that both give the same result.” She left the fact that she was unsure if her hormones were still human enough to be measured properly go unspoken. Regardless this plan was a good starting point till they could get more concrete confirmation of her condition.

“While you’re gone I think I’ll look around the kitchen and make a plan for dinner. I’m thinking some pasta would go nicely with the rest of that salad. It may be a bit too early in the season for tomatoes but if you have any canned I can certainly make a respectable sauce.” She continued talking, keeping her voice bouncy, so as not to give away her disappointment at being left behind. “I don’t think I’ll have enough time to make fresh bread, so you may want to pick up a loaf. There should be plenty extra cash to get some along with anything else you think we may need.”

She started to drift back towards the kitchen, casually peeking in the cupboards and drawers once there. “And I really don’t mind making a dessert either. Just depends on what I can pull together with what ingredients you have.” She ducked behind a cabinet door to take a breath and re-affix her smile. When she leaned out again the healer was standing there, giving her a quizzical look. “I promise you, I’ll be just fine. And if I need any help Acros is downstairs, right?” She winked as she lowered her voice conspiratorially. “He did say he would gladly be at my beck and call.” 

* * *

 

Phoenix watched Eliza count out the bills over and over again, and she realized she had miscalculated something, and not just mathematically.  She wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but it had something to do with the shopping.  Eliza upbeat voice was obviously affectated, but she wasn’t sure why the ferret should be so disappointed.  It would be quick if she took the car, ten minutes at the most, and there would be no chance of getting seen by any onlookers.  With Eliza not being a fighter, it would not be safe for her to wait in the car in her disguise.  There was no way, with the great firebird painted on the hood of the black car that it would not attract attention.  With a veiled woman in the passenger seat, it was a recipe for disaster.  There was a reason why there was only a convenient store, and not something more substantial.

She looked at the bills as Eliza gave them to her, and thought errantly, $60?  Does three pregnancy tests and a loaf of bread cost $60?  It made her feel very out of date.  She nodded as Eliza gave her the shopping list, a notable difference from how her life usually went.  She was the one giving shopping lists.   Eliza ducked behind one of the cabinets that she was peeking in in an obvious effort to distract herself from disappointment, and Phoenix felt totally at a loss.  She went through the past few minutes in her mind, to see what faux pas she might have committed, and could come up with nothing.  What was Eliza upset about?  She was the one who said she wanted to pee on a stick, and she was the one who suggested cooking dinner.  Her confusion must have shown on her face, for Eliza assured her she’d be alright.  When she mentioned Arcos, Phoenix had an idea.

“It will only take me ten minutes, tops,” she said, going to the bowl on the bookshelf.  Moving over the Kraang orb, she grabbed the keys underneath it, and sprinted toward the stairs.  “You’re welcome to use whatever you can find!”  Then, she was gone down the stairwell in a pale flash.

Not five minutes after she’d left, Arcos came up to the main level, a sketchbook and colored pencils in his hands.  “A fine hostess she turns out to be, huh?” he said jokingly to get Eliza’s attention.  “The first person she ever invites over to our house, and she goes off to run an errand.”  He shook his head in mock disappointment, “Even this mutant knows that’s rude.”  He put the sketchbook and pencils on the coffee table in the living room, and continued on into the kitchen.  The sound of a car starting up drifted up through the window, rough and loud.  Arcos seemed not to notice.  “I am supposed to do whatever you say,” he chuckled.  “She said,” he motioned to the garden window, to indicate the sound of the car, “something about making bread.”   

* * *

 

Eliza blinked several times at the empty space that once held her friend. Rolling her shoulders and letting out an exaggerated puff of air, she returned to her perusal of the kitchen looking for ingredients in earnest. She came upon the cookware first and pulled out a couple of deep pots and a shallow frying pan. She had her upper half buried part way in the cupboard, retrieving a metal colander and so didn’t notice Acros had joined her till she heard the rumble of his voice floating towards her. She quickly extracted herself from the cabinetry and hastily fixed her appearance, smoothing imaginary wrinkles and pulling her long sleeves back down to cover her shaved but no longer bruised arms. **  
**

She saw him place his supplies down in the living room but her attention was diverted by the loud roar of what had to be a muscle car. She looked out the window with a tight expression before turning back to the bear and softening her face with a small smile.

“I am supposed to do whatever you say,” he chuckled.  “She said,” he motioned to the garden window, to indicate the sound of the car, “something about making bread.”  

Eliza looked past him to his supplies on the coffee table. “I hope I didn’t take you away from anything. I told your Mom I would get you if I needed some help. Guess she decided to be preemptive.” She looked towards the window again as the sound of the large engine revved and then drifted away down the street. “Well, since you’re up here already, I’m planning on making some pasta for dinner. I told your mom to pick up the bread since she was going out, hope she remembers.” She returned her attention to him fully and gestured to the supplies she’d already retrieved. “I found the pots I needed but haven’t started getting ingredients together yet. You’ve probably saved the kitchen from being completely reorganized in my pursuit of spices and canned goods.” She laughed to show she had been joking, mostly.

They fell into easy banter as she listed off what she was looking for and Acros would either retrieve it himself or give her directions in case she happened to be closer. There was a small debate over the quantity they might need. Eventually coming to the agreement to err towards excess.

Eliza set about making the sauce base using the canned tomatoes they found and two little dented cans of tomato paste. It was still several hours till they would actually need to boil the water and make the packages of pasta they had dug out, two pounds of spaghetti and an one off box of angel hair to mix in. If Eliza had learned anything about making Italian, it was that a good gravy should simmer for many hours before even approaching peak flavor. Having set the sauce into motion she returned to the cutting board to dice the variety of fresh herbs that Acros had retrieved for her. She was more familiar with their dried counterparts but was excited to discover what flavors she could coax out of the fresh ingredients.

As she worked she tried her best to keep up her side of the conversation, the Phoenix’s bear child was diligent in taking up the role of host that he thought his mother had abandoned. However the more she became immersed in the actual process of preparing the meal the further apart his inquires became and having learned where most of the tools she would need were located, the less she asked for his assistance. Eventually silence fell on the scene, but it was not an oppressive or uncomfortable lack of noise. There was the sound of chopping, grating, stirring and the soft clink of metal utensils lightly hitting each other. Lost in her own little universe Eliza began to hum quietly, a choir piece that she had been practicing months ago but had never gotten the opportunity to perform. Surrounded by the happy sounds of a kitchen being put to use, she did not notice the muffled scratching of pencil against paper.  


	12. Chapter 12

Arcos noticed Eliza’s straightening up of her clothes as she caught sight of him, and wondered briefly what she’d been doing that she felt the need to do so.  That type of behavior was usually left to those who had been engaging in a physical activity too close within the confines of the cargo bay where others could easily find them.   **  
**

She kept turning to the window at the sound of the car, an almost desperate look on her face.  Perhaps she was scared for his mother’s safety, and her comment about Phoenix’s remembering the bread confirmed it for him.   “She will remember,” he said.  “She told me that if you wanted, I was to help bake bread.”

Eliza began to prattle on about finding and not finding items, and Arcos couldn’t help but smile.  It never occurred to him that one could not find an item in its obvious place in his family’s kitchen.  The way it was organized made perfect sense to all of them.  He fetched what she asked for, and was again surprised at her lack of familiarity with the fresh herbs.  She seemed to be superbly confident in the kitchen, confident in a way that his mother was with her medical practice, or that Aries was with his whittling.  A confidence that did not have an air of superiority to it, but rather the simple truth that one was very good at something.  Once she obtained the fresh herbs and spices, however, she had no hesitation as what to do with them, he noticed it was simply and identification issue.  Perhaps she did not garden much, though how would she get herbs and spices if she didn’t?

He liked the way she moved about the kitchen, she was fluid and confident at the same time, a mixture he didn’t come across often.  Or he did, it was dripping with sexuality, the confidence coming from something else rather than the activity at hand, at least in his presence.  It was refreshing to have someone other than his mother and sister who could emit one without the other.

She looked at him like he was crazy when he began fetching food for her.  “Isn’t this a bit much?” she asked.

He looked down at the ingredients and then back up at her, “How much are you making?” he asked.

“Enough for dinner,” she said slowly.

“Dinner for Medusa and Aries, too?” he asked genuinely.  Perhaps she wasn’t expecting them to come home for dinner.

“Yes,” she drawled.

“Then no,” he shook his head, “I wouldn’t think this is too much.”

The ferret looked at the cans, and then back up at the bear.  “We’ll have a lot of left overs.”

Arcos chuckled, “I don’t think so.”  Her being confident in the kitchen had obviously shielded her from the eating habits of those who were not so.  While he loved his family dearly, and each was superbly good at something, usually more than one thing, good cooks none of them were.

Eliza was gazing at him doubtfully, and he had the strong urge to ask her “What?” with a big smile on his face, and his hands in the air.  But he resisted, Be polite, he told himself, you’re the host.  “Alright,” she said finally, going back to the cutting board.

He tried to converse with her, asking simple questions like, “Where did you learn to do this?”  But the answers he received were just as simple, “I’ve always had a knack for it,” until she became so absorbed in her task, that she finally did not hear his questions when he asked.

He had a hard time holding in a chuckle.  Do not disturb an artist at their work, he knew.  He had just never considered cooking an art.  Apparently Eliza felt very differently.  And while she was indulging in her art, he saw no reason why he should not indulge in his.  Gathering his materials, he sat down a little way out of the kitchen, and began to sketch.

He had to wait until Eliza was in a certain position to draw her, with her not being a still model, and not being familiar with her figure, he had trouble surmising.  Not that he minded waiting for her return to a similar pose, she was not unpleasant to watch whatsoever.  But as his artist’s mind began to take over, his thoughts became much more clinical.   The length of her spine held her body in a certain position.  He could guess the combination of human legs and ferret attributes by the way she walked and stood.   He could surmise her musculature by the way she move such as swiveling her long neck without moving the rest of her body.  So, with light strokes, he pulled the pencil over the paper when she was in a favorable position, filling in the background of the picture when she was not.

She did not seem to notice anything other than what was happening in the kitchen, so when she looked up to ask him a question, she seemed rather surprised to find him with his sketch pad in his lap and his eyes on her.

* * *

 

The sauce was still a bit thin but she was happy with flavor of the warming mixture, now it needed only time and the occasional adjustment to reach it’s full potential. With a final stir and taste Eliza left the stove top to return to her cutting board station to clean-up, setting the excess herbs to one side should she need them again. With the counter-top clean and dinner set in motion Eliza turned her mind to desert, she had not come across much in the way of sweet staples during her rummaging. **  
**

“So Acros, about dessert, do you have some fruit around?” She didn’t look up at first, sweeping a few stray leavings into her palm to deposit in the the trash. “I can make a cobbler pret…” Finally raising her head she found the large bear seated just outside the kitchen staring directly at her. In his lap was a sketch pad, a pencil nearly engulfed by his large paw but somehow with a sense of precision in the grip. She locked gazes with him and while she felt like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car, his manner was easy and relaxed, an almost cocky smile greeting her.

After what seemed an eternity to her, but was perhaps no more than few seconds, the ferret tore her gaze away. Suddenly feeling self conscious, she wiped at imaginary debris on her clothing, while she collected her thoughts. She had no qualms about Acros spending his time sketching, since she had obviously been ignoring his efforts at small talk in favor of losing herself in the process of preparing the meal. It was the intensity of his attention on her that she found unnerving. She always worked best when left to her own devices or when actively teaching someone, as she often did with Gwyn. The idea of someone silently observing and judging her movements set her on edge.

“So ummm… Yeah… where’s the canned fruit?” She asked, trying press on though the nervousness crept into her voice. Acros flipped his pencil in his hand, using it to point to a cabinet behind her. “Thanks” She soon found a few cans of peaches and started to gather the items she would need to make a simple cobbler.

Though she tried to recapture the zone she had been in before, she was now aware of her surroundings. Every time she heard the graze of lead on paper her ear twitched to hone in on the sound, regardless of where she was in the kitchen. Whenever she was at the counter she could feel his eyes on her. She had tried to pretend that he may have just been doing some random art but it was now undeniable that Eliza herself was his subject matter. It filled her with a strange mix of flattery, nerves and embarrassment, somehow melding together to settle into plain curiosity. However from her own experience with her mother she knew how rude it was to request seeing someone’s unfinished work.

As Eliza finished preparing the pan of desert, to be put aside and baked later so it could be served warm, she looked up to find that Acros was not looking at her for a change. She followed his gaze to the landing just as she heard the sound of footfalls on the staircase.

* * *

 

Phoenix puffed up the stairs to the top floor, swinging a grocery bag next to her.  The smell of spaghetti sauce greeted her long before she reached the landing.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  With the still cool evenings, something hearty to eat for dinner would be nice.  Upon entering, she smiled brightly as both Eliza and Acros were looking in her direction.  It appeared that his son had shirked his duties as helper and had taken on the role of artist, she guessed without Eliza’s permission by the look on her face. **  
**

“Sorry it took me so long,” she apologized, bringing the bag into the kitchen.  “The car broke, and I had to walk part of the way home.”

“Ooo,” Arcos sang, “Aries is going to be mad you broke the car.”  

“If Aries would have the car in proper working order, then it wouldn’t have broken in the first place,” Phoenix clucked.  “It’s about a mile from here.  Go get your brother and sister and bring it back.”

Arcos put the pad and pencil on the chair as he stood up.  “I’m being thrown out now?” he asked playfully.

“Yes,” his mother assured him.

“Don’t need me to babysit anymore, now that you’re back?” he asked, sneaking a glance at Eliza and flashing her an easy smile.

“You were never a babysitter,” his mother walked passed him and patted him on the arm.  “You are a lackey.”

Arcos grabbed his chest in mock pain.  “A lackey!  That’s a low blow, Mama.”

Phoenix waved her hand toward the kitchen window to usher him out,  “The truth hurts, Teddy Bear.”

He laughed, his rumbly, deep laugh, and made his way out of the warehouse through the window in the kitchen, swinging with practiced ease to the roof above their heads..

Once she was sure he was out of earshot, she took the bread out of the bag and handed the bag with the rest of the contents to Eliza.   “The price of a loaf of bread has gone up substantially since I last bought one,” she winked.  She was feeling alright about it now, but when she’d been in the convenient store, and taken a look at how much everything cost, she saw why Eliza had given her so much money.  It wasn’t so much money anymore.  Bread was not a regular item in their house, finding it edible in the dumpster was rare, and they needed yeast in order to make it.  They had a better chance at finding yeast they could use to make bread than the actual bread itself.  To see everything cost so much more than she remembered made her feel very old, and very out of the touch.  She was already nervous using money in the first place, but now to feel as if she were in a foreign country using money she didn’t understand only made the nervousness turn into annoyance.

She had been quite sure that she’d have no problem finding more than one pregnancy test at the convenient store.  With the population that inhabited that part of the city, it was very likely that they sold more of tests than they did of bread.  Sure enough, they had three brands, albeit one was in a machine in the bathroom next to the condoms.  She’d gotten the bread, all three tests, and driven most of the way home before the car ‘broke’.  She simply failed to mention that she broke it on purpose by pulling one of the wires out of the battery connector.  It would be quite a while before any of the kids were back with it.

“Your medical equipment,” she gestured to the bag, “and your change.”  She took the change out of her pocket, and then took Eliza’s free hand and physically placed it in her palm.  “The ball is in your court.  You can do this whenever you want,” her voice was soft and compassionate, not at all matching the determination which had only a moment ago been gripping Eliza’s wrist.  “Or not at all, if you don’t want.”

* * *

 

Eliza was glad to see the Phoenix’s return and welcomed her with a smile, but at the same time she could not ignore the crinkle of plastic as the grocery sack swung with the healer’s movements, causing her stomach to do flip flops. As mother and son indulged in playful banter Eliza checked on the sauce, giving it a taste and then turning the burner down to maintain a minimal simmer, ensuring it would not suffer as she was elsewise occupied. She crossed to the sink to place her tasting spoon in the basin, returning Acros’ smile with a small one of her own though she did not feel particularly joyful. The happy teasing exchange behind her was a stark contrast to her own frantic mental landscape. **  
**

Over the past week she had spent a good deal of time thinking and praying about today. What this very moment would mean in her life. She had time to logically consider the options, though she could not bring herself to examine some of them more than fleetingly. The possibilities were endless and limited all at the same time and the many variables buzzed around in head like angry hive. Strangely, despite her frantic mind a peace fell over her body. She watched with detachment as Acros left via the window, an unusual choice but she didn’t have the extra mental space to worry about it.

Turning she leaned on the counter and regarded the Phoenix as she took the bread out of the plastic bag then held the sack out for her to take. Eliza crossed the distance between them mechanically. When the light weight of the remaining items settled in her palm, the pull that transferred through the bunched plastic handles may as well have been a load of bricks. She didn’t have time to dwell on the feeling before the small healer grasped her other wrist with unexpected force and firmly deposited the money left over from the errand run.

It was this gesture more than Phoenix’s words that settled her nerves and made her feel like she could think again. It was as if her new friend sensed that Eliza had meant for Phoenix to keep the change and was firmly rejecting the notion before an argument could be started about it. Inwardly the ferret smiled and accepted her defeat, vowing to take up the challenge another day.

“There is nothing to be gained from not knowing, except more sleepless nights.” Eliza retorted. She took a breath to steady herself. “Besides without you I never would have even considered the possibility of a pregnancy. Don’t you want to find out if your theory is correct?” She tried to be light and downplay the moment, not really fooling anyone.

The ferret gently extracted her wrist from the healer’s grip and walked over to the couch, where her backpack was still resting on the floor next to it. She dropped the money in the open main compartment without bothering to count it and retrieved a slim black mobile phone from a smaller front pouch. Straightening she looked back at the older woman and gave her a small grateful but sad smile. “Don’t let the sauce burn.” Eliza said, then strode to the bathroom without looking back, the door shutting behind her, the audible sound of the lock being engaged echoing back down the hall.

* * *

 

The look of sadness on Eliza’s face pulled her heartstrings.  It reminded her of one of her teammates in high school that had gotten pregnant accidentally.  What should have been a reason for celebration, the creation of a new life, was a horrible occasion,  It has ‘ruined’ everyone’s lives, the girl and boy were eternally shamed by their social circle.  Her teammate’s career ended a few years before it had to.  The parents of both teenagers were ashamed of their children, for their perceived lack of restraint and self control.  She, herself, had judged them poorly, though her sympathy had been with her friend and teammate.   **  
**

Now, so many years older, and an entire universe away from that life, she was ashamed of her own feelings as teenager, of condemnation, of self-righteousness, of despair that her two friends had ruined their lives so young.  She should have seen the miracle of a pregnancy for it was, a miracle.  She was too young to know, then, of the miracle that it was, of the miracle that anyone of them was born, the miracle that any one of them lived to adulthood to create a life inside of them.

But she knew it now.  A human pregnancy was something that was frought with peril, for both the mother and the unborn child.  She knew that 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and up to 80% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, as the mother didn’t know she was pregnant yet.  She had never met a pregnant mutant, so for all she knew, even if there were pregnancies, there was a 100% miscarriage rate.   She also knew that a third of all full term pregnancies resulted in a birth defect of the child.  She surmised it was much more than that before the use of an ultrasound machine.  And they did not have access to an ultrasound machine, and she could see no way they could get one, despite Eliza’s assurances that she could.  How do you go into a hospital and steal an ultrasound machine?  She knew, too, that 6% of all people did not make it to adulthood, despite being born healthy.

With such odds against someone, the fact that any of them even existed was a miracle.  The fact that a new life would come into the world was even more than a miracle, whatever that word might be.  Knowing that Eliza **might** be pregnant, and that she might play a role in that pregnancy and maybe even the birth filled Phoenix with joy.  Even the prospect of a tiny chance of a life growing inside of this mutant, was a providential stroke of luck that was replete with bursting of happiness.

Eliza was not seeing it that way.  She seemed to be seeing the same way as her teammate did all those years ago.  While it was a life alternating event, even for those who wanted their children, as she had, Eliza seemed to be seeing it as an awful one.

The time ticked by, and Eliza did not emerge from the bathroom.  Phoenix got up to start the kettle to fix herself a cup of tea.  She would use the honey that Eliza had brought her, and leave it out so she could see she was keeping her promise.  She made it, sat down and drank the sweet beverage, which would have only been made better by some milk to go in it.  She finished it, and still Eliza did not emerge from the bathroom.

Phoenix began to get worried.  She had read the directions on the pregnancy tests, and seen that the longest one took up to 20 minutes to make a result.  Perhaps Eliza had not taken the tests right away, her nervousness making her hesitate.  She got up, and went to the bathroom, and pressed her face to the door.  “Eliza?” she asked.  “Do you need help?”  She waited for an answer, and didn’t get one, nor could she hear anything from the small water closet.  She tried the door knob, and it was still locked.  “Eliza,” she said again.  Again, she got no answer.  “I am giving you ten more minutes,” she said gently, as one tells a toddler that they have ten more minutes before they must go home from their playdate.  

She went back to the kitchen and made herself another cup of tea.  That took eight minutes.  In that eight minutes, her mind was a whizz.  While she might veiw a pregnancy with joy, she did not view someone else’s pain as such.  Eliza had taken her mobile phone in the bathroom with her.  She couldn’t hurt herself with it, could she?  There wasn’t anything sharp enough to cut herself on the inside, was there?  She didn’t know diddly squat about the insides of mobile phones.  

She blew on the tea to cool it for another two minutes, getting antsy as the time ticked by.  Then, feeling almost frantic, she got up to get a screwdriver to take the door off of the hinges.

* * *

 

Eliza turned and leaned heavily on the locked door, taking deep measured breaths to stave off the anxiety she could feel constantly trying to bubble up inside her. Pushing away from the entry she took the few steps to sit on the closed lid of the commode. Placing the plastic shopping bag in her lap she started to shift through the supplies that Phoenix had procured for her. **  
**

The ferret found that she actually had four tests as one of the boxes had two sticks in the package. After taking her time to read through all the literature, making sure that she understood what to do and how to read the results, she decided on her course. Though all the directions said that it was best to use a sample from first thing in the morning, when the hormones that produced a positive result were more concentrated, she was determined to have answers before she left this room again. She would use two tests now and save the other two for the morning if the outcomes were inconclusive. She would use the brand-name digital test, since it claimed to have higher sensitivity along with one from the double pack. That way she would have a type of control to compare with should she need it later.

Eliza was actually impressed that she was thinking so clearly and had calmed down significantly since entering the bathroom. But at the moment she had a task to perform, that alone helped her to step back and focus on the deed at hand instead of dwelling on its results. Though now that everything was ready, she was struck with a type of performance anxiety. For several minutes she sat impotent, unable to produce a sample. Rolling her eyes at the irony she gave an exasperated sigh at herself as she reached over to turn the faucet of the hand sink on. The sound of running water was an effective prompt and the ferret was soon successful in completing the first phase of the pregnancy test. She set the sticks on the flat surface of the toilet’s tank and washed her hands.

There was nothing left to do but to wait. Eliza set the timer on her phone, prepared to wait out the next 15 minutes. She started to pace, but the space was so small that it was ultimately a futile endeavor. Lacking any other way to pass the time she sat down and started to play with her phone. Unfortunately, while she could get a signal, it was only a couple of bars, not enough to run her internet features. After loosing three games of minesweeper she was bored and frustrated. She checked the clock and only six minutes had passed. She rolled her shoulders in exasperation. This was going to take forever!

Turning back to her phone, best option for distraction, she noticed that her memory was 70% full. Good a time as any to do some maintenance. Turning to her txt messages, she had a horrible habit of not deleting them on a regular basis, and started to systematically clear out old threads. She noted that there were tons from the night she had meet Phoenix, most likely the frantic attempts of the Gwyn and the boys to reach her. She hadn’t even taken the time to look at them, since it was probably the same message over and over again. As she was scrolling down her finger paused in it’s task and her heart clenched. There among the unread messages was a name she thought she would not see again. ‘Xang Lee’. She was powerless to stop herself from opening the thread.

_“I was angry. I still am. I know that you were lying. How could I marry a woman who kept secrets from me?”_

_“I has been weeks now and I have tried to forget you. To put you in the past. This should have been an easy thing.”_

_“It is not. How can I forget all our words? How can I ignore what my heart tells me?”_

_“I dont know why you lied. I dont understand why I could not see you. Am I a man you could not trust? Did I betray you?”_

_“I am sorry for my words. I know I hurt you. I am hurt too. I am sad without your words. I am sad outside your arms.”_

_“Please share your words me. Let us try again.”_

Eliza read and reread the txts. So engrossed she didn’t hear the soft tapping at the door. Tears were streaming down her face. She couldn’t do this. Her heart was breaking all over again. She had shed so many tears over Lee that she thought them all exhausted. Oh how wrong she was. Just then the phone vibrated and blared in her hand, she fumbled to turn off the alarm. Once it was silent she was shocked still, her hackles rising. The ferret twisted her neck slowly, her enhanced flexibility and the eerie quiet of the room, punctuated only by the pounding of her heart, made the scene worthy of any horror movie.  

The two solid lines and the digital plus sign that greeted her were impossible to misinterpret. The phone slid from her grasp, clinking loudly on the polished concrete. She rose up and started towards the door. Suddenly the room was too small, the walls too constricting, she couldn’t breath. She reached for the lock, but everything swayed and her vision double. The ferret-woman couldn’t make her fingers obey her and the door seemed to travel away from her, the more she reached the farther away the handle fled. The last thing she was aware of was the cold floor pressed against her cheek before the world went dark.  


	13. Chapter 13

As she made her way toward the bathroom door, she heard a clink, and then a thump coming from inside.  She ran to the door, and jiggled the handle again.  “Eliza?” she asked, in a slightly panicked voice.  “Eliza?!”  Recieving no answer, she rushed to the stairs, and flew down them to the workshop below. **  
**

It took her only a moment to find the screwdriver in Aries’ toolbox.  She prayed that Eliza had not taken anything into the bathroom with her that she could hurt herself with.  In another moment, she was back up the stairs.  She tried the handle again, and then said something rather unbecoming in French.  Screwdriver in her fist, she began to turn the large screws that held the hinges to the door.

Taking the screws out was agonizingly slow.  Of course, this kind of thing would happen when one of her children wasn’t here.  Any of the three of them could easily tear the door off of the hinges.  Here she was, wasting precious minutes trying to unscrew the darn thing.

She hadn’t had to do this since the children were very little and Ailurosa had locked herself in the bathroom and been unable to unlock it.  She wanted to be a big girl, and go to the potty all by herself.  She had locked the door to make sure that she was allowed to do so.  When she was finished, she was couldn’t get the old, rickety lock to release itself.  Phoenix had to unscrew the door, while the other three kids watched, in order to get her oldest child out of the water closet.  She should have taken the knob off back then.  If she had, she wouldn’t have this problem today.

She unscrewed the bottom hinge and quickly jumped out of the way to make room for the door.  It didn’t move.

Years ago, the door had been painted.  Or more precisely, Arcos had painted the door.  In doing so, she could see now, that he had painted the door to the hinges, the thick paint keeping them attached to each other.  Arg, she thought, trying not to be annoyed.  If Aries had painted it, he would have been careful enough to tape off the hinges!

She took the screwdriver, and wedged it between the door and frame, and began to pull on it, using it as a lever to lift the door from the hinges.  It worked, and the door fell to the hallway with a bang.

Phoenix dropped the screwdriver, and ran to the prostrate form of the ferret on the floor.  Softening her eyes immediately, she saw no places where the woman was hurt, and sighed loudly with relief.  She’d only fainted.

She had a suspicion why, but looking on the sink counter confirmed it for her.  Eliza had used two of the three tests she’d bought, and they were both positive.  Phoenix let out a slow breath, her feelings conflicted.  She wanted to be happy that something so fabulous had happened.  But then, Eliza’s reaction did not bode well for anyone who happened to be involved in her life.

She sat down next to Eliza’s head, and began to stroke her ears and muzzle, as she would a pet who was not feeling well.  She’d only fainted, she’d wake up very shortly.  There was no need to panic.  Yet.

* * *

 

Eliza floated up from the gentle darkness that had surrounded her, she became aware in increments that someone was talking to her gently and touching her in a soothing circular pattern. A low rumbling chuckle brought her to further awareness and though her eyelids were still heavy she blinked slowly till she was finally able to keep them open. **  
**

She found herself cushioned in a familiar bed, alternating layers of fluffy and firm pillows propped her up in a semi-upright position and a light sheet draped across her outstretched legs. Eliza smiled as she recognized the form before her. Grant turned slightly to give her a toothy grin of his own before going back to lavishing attention on her heavily pregnant torso. That smile still had the power to make her heart flutter, even as her exposed swollen belly performed matching maneuvers.

“There there now little girl.” He cooed as he rubbed her spasming stomach. “No fair waking mommy up already. She’s only been asleep for an hour or so.”

Eliza laughed as she put her arms out, indicating that she wanted to be helped up and her husband lovingly obliged. “Might as well get used to it. Pretty soon neither of us will be sleeping through the night.” She waddled into the bathroom to get a drink of water, taking the sheet with her as an impromptu robe, a viable option since her own robe no longer closed. Once there she paused a moment to examine herself in the mirror, noting her stretch marks, she then called back towards the other room. “Hey Grant, did you put my lotion in the overnight bag already?” Silence meet her query. “Hunny?” still there was no response and as she turned towards the door she became aware that the room had changed.

She was in a different bathroom, no longer the bright white of her apartment, but softly lit with fixtures so old that some would consider them antiques except they seemed to have been in use since the day they were first installed. An Asian man, on the younger side of middle aged, in nothing but boxers, appeared in the doorway.

“Did you call me?” His smile seemed shy and uneasy, though he tried to appear casual as he leaned against the door frame.

Eliza was suddenly desperate to hide her body and clutched the sheet that she was wrapped in closer to her breast and quickly turned away from him, hoping to shield her obvious bump. Her breathing increased and a weight settled in her chest as she felt his approach. He laid a hand on her naked back and she shivered as his calloused fingertips traced her curves while he placed a soft kiss on her exposed shoulder.

“It will be ok. I promise.” She felt him smile into her skin before pulling away. “You will make a beautiful bride.” He whispered into her ear before stepping away, and she shuttered down to her core. “Comin back?” she heard him say from the door and finding herself unable to speak she nodded vigorously, his warm laughter drifted away down the hall.

Before she could fully comprehend what was happening the room shifted again and now she was in a bathroom with an industrial feel, concrete floor and all the facilities utilitarian though functional. The sheet fell away and looking down she found herself covered in silvery grey fur. With an increasing sense of dread Eliza lifted her gaze to the mirror and was confronted with a triangular animalistic face. Panic gripped her till  she thought she had lost the capacity to breathe. That was until a violent contraction rippled through her abdomen and ripped a scream from her throat.

Sinking to the floor she rocked back and forth, strange furry arms crossed protectively over her rounded belly, as desperate tears welled up from deep inside. She felt alone, lost, guilty and betrayed. In time once again soft words drifted across her mind and the impression of being comforted started to push away the fear and pain. Eliza woke with a start, breathing quickly as her brain tried to determine what was reality as she tried to divorce herself from the visions that clung to her mind.

Rolling her eyes she saw Phoenix above her, a look of worry and relief on her face, she gave Eliza’s muzzle a few more soft strokes before holding her firmly, hand propped under her lower jaw. “Are you ok?” Eliza didn’t really know the answer to that so she just blinked but said nothing. “I’m going to check you over.” The healer went through several tests before allowing the ferret to sit up.

By this time Eliza was more aware of herself and remembered the moments before she passed out. She tried to avoid dwelling on Lee, the memory of their night together too close to the surface for safe examination. She could see the pregnancy tests still on the counter and her clawed hand rested on on her typically curved but still soft stomach. Soon there would be a detectable firmness, apparent despite her naturally curvy body, that would continue to grow until her condition would be obvious to everyone. She thought back to when she had been carrying Gwyn. How Grant had doted on her. He had worshiped her body as she nurtured the child they had prayed so desperately for. It was one of the most joyous times of their marriage.

Now a new life was growing inside her. But they would greet the world wrapped in guilt and uncertainty rather than anticipation and joy. She looked in Phoenix’s eyes, grasping, desperate, searching for a lifeline to help her break away from this miasma of negativity she felt trying to wrap itself around her heart. “I…I’m pregnant.”

* * *

 

Eliza was fine, Phoenix could see that easily, despite feeling the need to poke and prod in the usual places that one pokes and prods when one faints and falls.  She put her hand on Eliza’s head, very much like one would a beloved pet, and swept it down to her neck, smiling kindly.  She knew there was an excitement, a joy, in her eyes, and she knew that Eliza did not share it.   **  
**

She didn’t care.  She had lived a great deal since she had died, and the rules that the rest of the world played by no longer applied.  When survival was the ultimate goal, when friends were few and far between, or nonexistent for some, when pleasures were hard come by and sweet when they were, she would be joyous for whatever she wished, even if the rest of the world would judge it as damnable.

Damnable was mutable, Phoenix felt, despite what people liked to think.  What might be considered an atrocious act in one situation was an honorable one in another.  She put that criteria to her own life, and her own actions, and it was the criteria that she put to everyone else’s also.  Human morality might say that getting pregnant out of wedlock was a bad thing.  In her world, a world much closer to the one that actually existed, she felt, in all realms of existence, love and love, whatever form it came in.  If both parties were agreeable, then if it came in the form of sex, that was fine.  If she needed to make an excuse, which she didn’t, Eliza had said herself that the father of the baby was her fiance.   Why would they not express the love they felt for each other physically if they were willing to proclaim it to the world in a more formal way?

Comfort was comfort, whatever form it came in.  And the Phoenix never thought that comfort was damnable, bad, or inappropriate.  There was precious little of it in the world of humans, there was even less of it here.  Her heart ached on a regular basis, tears were shed in the night after she’d come home from clinic, and kindnesses she would never had extended when she was alive were given with little thought of return because of that very fact.  Comfort in this world was more precious than gold, and she was well aware of that.  

And so, she would not deny it to anyone, she would not deny it to Eliza VonHertz, not now, or ever.  

“I know,” she said, her voice sounding much like a mother’s does when a child has found out about a surprise.

* * *

 

Eliza could see the joy in Phoenix’s expression, it was impossible to ignore. While last week she had been upset about the healer’s positive attitude towards a possible pregnancy, now that it was a confirmed fact she found it slightly comforting. She was still completely terrified and upset over the reality. Still a part of her was glad that at least someone was excited for her child. Her child. The words caused the familiar warm swelling within her bosom that occurred when her soul recognized a truth. This wasn’t just some pregnancy, this would be HER child. **  
**

The ferret leaned slightly into Phoenix’s hand, recognizing the gesture as comforting as she tried to make the mental shift. It was not an easy thing to do and she suspected that it would take many months, which thankfully she still had before the birth, to fully accept and ultimately embrace all the aspects of her life that would have to change to make room for the new little life. But every journey, even emotional ones, must begin with a first step and seeing that Phoenix was joyful and excited helped her place a first tentative foot on the road to acceptance.

“I know.” Phoenix said with an indulgent and bemused tone.

Eliza gave a short abbreviated huff of a laugh, needing some sort of relief. “A baby.” She said with disbelief but a sense of awe creeping in. “I’m gonna have a baby.” She repeated looking into her friends’ eyes while she felt tears prick her own and the beginnings of a smile stretch her mouth. She closed her eyes to stave off the waterworks and took a few halting breaths to attempt to regain control. She could tell that it would not be an easy effort but shortly she felt on more even emotional ground. Looking around, she was done with this room and felt the need for a change of environment. “Can we go sit in the other room?”

Shifting clumsily she managed to get to her feet with the healer’s balancing assistance and allowed herself to be lead out of the bathroom, stepping over the unhinged door in the process. Phoenix guided her to the couch and helped her settle. However when the older woman made to leave, perhaps to retrieve something, Eliza snatched her hand and squeezed with a sense of desperation. She just couldn’t bear to be alone, not even for a moment. She was holding it together, but just barely, and an irrational but strong need to have someone at her side became overwhelming. The sensation lasted for only an instant before she recognize how silly she was being and softened her grip on the healer’s hand with a mumble ‘sorry’ though she couldn’t bring herself to let go completely.

She scrambled for some sort of topic but felt at a lost. “um…” she scanned the room and took note of the wooden door laying in the hall. “sorry about the door. Was I out for a long time?” she asked abashedly while not looking in the healer’s eyes. The passage of time brought something else to mind and she sat up a little straighter. “Am I late with dinner? Is the sauce ok?”

* * *

 

Phoenix kept Eliza’s hand and sat down the couch next to her.  She made sure her side was pressed against the ferret’s, and the fur of the woman felt good on her skin.  Her smell, slightly musky mixed with flowers, came at her in a rush, as if she hadn’t noticed it before,though she had.  She wasn’t sure why’d she would notice it now.   **  
**

“You were out a little while, long enough for me to take the door down,” she said with a laugh.  “Aries will be annoyed when gets back,” she winked.  “He will have to put it back up.”

She could feel Eliza’s mix of happiness and fear through her grip, while it had softened, she hadn’t let go.    While she kept the kind smile on her face, a sense of helplessness began to trill through her.  The woman was obviously looking to her for help, and there was no reason why she shouldn’t be.  Phoenix knew she had given the impression that she knew exactly what she was talking about.  But, truth be told, she had very little.  She did not know how the mutation would affect the fetus, she did not know if the pregnancy would go according to a ferret’s schedule, a human schedule, or a mixture of the two.  Without that knowledge, she would hard pressed to know what was going on inside of Eliza’s belly.  She little worries about the midwife process itself, she remembered well the Haitian mamba that Stephane had insisted on when she was pregnant with her own children.  She’d been surprised by it, “The doctors don’t know what they’re talking about,” he’d said.  “She will know.”  And so one of his friends grandmother had come to be her midwife, almost directly contradicting everything that her obstetrician had said when she had her doctor’s appointments.   She never, in a million years, thought that the old woman would come in handy later in life.

She would feel so much more secure if she knew more about Eliza’s living situation.  She understood why she kept it secret, she kept her own secret.  But, if someone ended up pregnant, she always thought it would be a Grey Cat, and she could keep constant tabs on the woman.  In this case, it was completely up to Eliza on how many tabs, if any, Phoenix would be keeping.  It was as it should be, it was pregnancy after all, but that didn’t mean that Phoenix had to like it.

Eliza commented on the sauce, a worried tone in her voice.  

“You didn’t miss dinner,” Phoenix laughed, “but as for the sauce, I don’t know.  I haven’t stirred it in a while.”   She stood up gently, have a small tug on Eliza’s hand.  She had noticed that Eliza seemed to calm down tremendously when given something to do.  Time to use that, she thought to herself.  “You will have to make sure it isn’t burned.”

* * *

 

With the gentle tug from the healer Eliza rose and followed her to the kitchen, and when she paused by the counter the ferret only had the slightest hesitation in letting her hand slip free and continue on to the pot that was softly bubbling on the stove. She immediately turned the heat off and reached for the stirring spoon set on a small plate on the nearby counter. **  
**

The concoction had thickened noticeably and when Eliza stirred there was a hardness at the bottom that could not be attributed to the metal of the pot. The good news was that there was no evidence of black flakes stirred up and when she tasted it the flavors were balanced with no smokey or bitter aftertaste. She added a touch more parsley and enough water even out the consitacy. The sauce was fine but she did not envy the person who would have to scrub the now abused cookware. Though she had to smirk knowing that it would not be her.

She looked at her friend and smiled. “No harm done. In fact, it’s ready. I’m going to start the water for the pasta, it’ll take a while to get that amount to a rolling boil.” She proceeded to add some salt to the water already in the larger pot before turning the heat on. She looked around the kitchen but there was nothing else that needed her attention at that moment. Still she felt more like herself and less emotional. She returned to the counter, where Phoenix was casually leaning, and took up a position next to her but facing the wall, cushioning her chest against her folded arms on top of the flat surface.  

“Sooo…” She was hesitant to start this conversation, though she knew that the subject needed to be brokered. Not having to actually look the healer in the face was helpful. “…it looks like I make have to take up that offer of a regular appointment.” She laughed though there was nothing particularly funny being said. “I think next time I’ll bring Gwyn with me. Once I tell her, I imagine its not going to take long before she’ll want to be involved with everything.”

Eliza took a breath and blew it out. “There could be a few others that may want to meet you too. But I won’t be sure till I break the news. Hopefully it goes well but if not…” She shrugged her shoulders, knowing that it was out of her hands. “… well, I guess I’ll figure something out.”


	14. Chapter 14

Eliza's last words caused the joy at the positive pregnancy test to diminish slightly. There it was again, the slight fear, shown in her hesitation at the others around her. Was being pregnant that bad?

It would force them to break this facade of changing her back to a human again. They would have to admit, if not an outright lie, then that they were unable to do what Eliza thought they could.

"You can bring whomever you wish" Phoenix said gently, through the tightness in her chest. These people she was staying with, they had taken her and her daughter in, protected them from from aliens, fed them…despite the ferret's fear, they couldn't be all that bad.

She didn't really want anyone else at her house. She still wasn't sure she wanted Eliza there, nor was she sure why she was being so generous with her invites. Chategris and the Grey Cats knew the rules, knew how things were to operate at her abode. They came for the children to play, or for help.

Well, Eliza is here for help, isn't she? she told herself. And now she will be having a regular appointment.

The smell of the sauce filled the air as the water mixed with it and it cooled, She could hear Aries', Medusa, and Arcos arguing in the far distance, what about she couldn't decipher. Probably about who was not pushing the car to their best of his or her ability. She watched Eliza's shoulders as she shrugged them, wishing for breaking of the news of her pregnancy to go well, and sounding despondent at the notion that it wouldn't.

Phoenix felt a little sliver of annoyance pierce through her. She didn't like not knowing things, she didn't like being felt like she was being lead on, she didn't like being left in the dark. She felt there was something just out of her grasp that she wasn't comprehending, and the feeling was maddening. Knowing she was being rude, she asked, "Why would the news not go over well? It is excellent news."

* * *

The ferret's tail swished behind her, a response to the agitation she could hear in her friend's voice. How was she suppose to explain the complicated dynamics at the lair to a person she had only meet twice? Still she felt she could trust Phoenix. All she could do was give her side of the story and hope it was enough.

"Have you ever had a guest outstay their welcome?" She chose a spot on the wall and started talking to it, detaching herself from how she perceives things, as if she was analyzing the role of a stranger. "It's all still nice and pleasant but there is this underlying feeling that they need to move on. Yoshi and the boys would never say so, but sometimes I get the feeling that they would like to have their space back. When I first came to the lair there was a hole and a wound in their homelife. Gwyn and I had a purpose then, she brought light and laughter, as she does everywhere, and soothed their hearts. Me, well, I gave my body to try to find a cure along with what service I could. But now their own sunshine has returned and my body is no longer mine to give."

She frowned feeling she wasn't explaining herself properly but pressed on. "Till now I was a temporary guest, a problem to solved and then be on my way. But now that arrangement needs reevaluation." She glanced at the healer trying to gauge her reactions. "Yoshi is a good man, he has been very kind to shelter us. I owe him ours lives. But, that doesn't mean that things are always easy between us." Eliza looked up towards the sky as if the right words would fall from the heavens. "This world is dangerous, they have enemies and those aliens went after Gwyn and I. We aren't fighters, so we are under his protection, in his debt and subject to his rules. The boys feel responsible for my mutation, and if I can't be cured then that means we can't return to our old lives." She returned her gaze to the older woman, hoping for a glimpse of understanding. "Once I tell them I'm pregnant I can only imagine that they will feel responsible for my baby as well." She dropped her gaze, contemplating the counter, her emotions rolling underneath the surface.

"After all, if it weren't for the boy's carelessness it's very possible," Try as she might she couldn't keep the bitterness from her voice though Eliza knew it was pointless to travel down the road of what-ifs. "that I would still be with Lee, Gwyn safe and all of us celebrating growing our new family together." She slapped her palms on the counter and pushed away, taking frustrated strides back towards the stove. The steaming water was not yet ready for the pasta. She took a moment to let her temper ebb away as she watched the water vapor float towards the ceiling and dissipate. Life was strange web of inter-tangled events, but it was pointless to carry over the blame from one thing to another. "Yes a baby is exciting news, but it also means decisions to be made. This isn't what they signed up for, and it's going to add stress to an already difficult situation."

Eliza folded her arms protectively across her chest and turned to face Phoenix, trying to hold her head high but feeling exposed. "Even still, I'm not afraid that they will kick me out, I'm afraid they will hold me closer." There was defiance sparkling in her eyes before cooling to something closer to determination. "Just because I owe Yoshi so much doesn't mean I want to be owned by him. But it doesn't matter what I want or what happens to me. What's important is keeping my children safe. And whether I like it or not Hamato Yoshi and his sons are capable of doing just that. I know that they would sacrifice anything to protect us, even their lives if necessary."

* * *

Understanding blossomed in Phoenix's mind as Eliza went on, in a rambling attempt to get out her thoughts on the matter. Her heart was still torn, at small phrases that didn't seem to fit right: because of the carelessness of the boys, she was a mutant; there was a hole that they had filled, but now it was filled by something else; Yoshi is a good man, he has been very kind; she did not want to be owned by him through indebtedness.

But the words, "This world is dangerous," made everything click, all the little pieces that she felt were just out of her reach came to lay in her hands, and she felt that she knew exactly what was going on.

These people she was staying with, they were performing a great disservice to the woman in front of them. They were indulging her. They were indulging her in keeping her thinking she could be human again, they were indulging her from protecting her from a world full of danger, they were indulging her by treating her as if she were still a human being, and if they were still human beings. They were probably doing it in order to keep up this facade that they'd been feeding her, but in doing so, they had caused damage that she would never have seen another mutant anywhere.

She felt she had outstayed her welcome. She felt they wanted their space back. Phoenix knew, of all people, that they had no space, no true space. Their space was borrowed, they always had to be on the lookout for something or someone so it was not taken back. Eliza had already hinted that they did not want their home revealed to anyone, and Phoenix did not blame them one single, solitary bit. Where Eliza had miscalculated, she felt, was the in the illusion that there was a welcome to be outstayed. In this dangerous world of mutants , and aliens , and enemies, there was no room for unwelcome. Phoenix had never met a mutant who not accept another one in a heartbeat, or move on themselves if they did not want the other's company. She had never met a mutant who did not know that life, that the company of others, was too precious to waste on false notions of a welcome present to be outstayed. If these people had taken her in, then had expected her to be there for the rest of her life. The Grey Cats would have made the same assumption, she would have made the same assumption, any mutant she'd ever met would have made the same assumption.

Eliza was still trying to live in a human world in a mutant body.

As the voices of her children came closer, no longer arguing, but with Aries giving instructions on what to do to get the car running again, drifting through the window, Phoenix walked over to it, and glanced out and down at the garden. The juniper bush still had some of its smaller berries left, the ones she and the birds had left on it. The catmint was beginning to get bushy and inviting to the creatures that roamed her garden both when she was there and when she wasn't. She debated with herself a little, before turning back to Eliza.

The look of frustration, of defiance, on the ferret's face is what made the decision for her.

She took a deep breath, it was harder making her voice work than she had anticipated. "When the children and I first began our lives together," she started slowly, looking at Eliza's face, even though the ferret's eyes were facing away from her. "I knew nothing." She shook her head, as if saying the words were unbelievable. "I barely knew how to take care of myself." Her eyes drifted to the upper right, as they did when she thinking, though her face was still facing the same way. "I didn't need to know," her voice was soft, and faraway. "But then, one day, I had these little things that needed me. I did not know now to take care of myself, and they could not take of themselves."

Her eyes came back to the ferret, her look softhearted. "I had to learn how to take care of myself, and take care of these four mutants. I was terrified. I was afraid of aliens coming and finding us. I was afraid of men in black suits coming and finding us. I was afraid of other humans coming and finding us. I was afraid of other mutants coming and finding us." SHe took a breath in. "But, after a while," she said, "I realized that I couldn't be afraid anymore. In being afraid, I was teaching them to be afraid," she gestured out the window, as if the children were small and playing in the garden below. "I did not want to make their lives even harder by giving them a life filled with fear."

She twisted her mouth, the feeling of not explaining herself correctly also over taking her. SHe'd never had to explain this to anyone. SHe had had to explain so many things, things that she had taken for granted, to her children, about behavior, about morality, about life, about love, about fear, about helping. But she hadn't had to explain this, because everyone already knew it. It was a foregone fact.

"There is no one in my life who would call me a fighter," her voice changed to one that was more present. "In fact, I refused to learn how to do it until three years ago." She saw the look of surprise on the ferret's face. "The kids learned a long time ago," she said, as if that would be reassuring. "But I didn't."

As she spoke, she moved the nails near the window, where she and the children hung their weapons. She picked up the slingshot, and toyed with a bullet casing in her fingers. Looking at it, she continued, "But then, I did. I had to, if I was going to survive in this place, which had aliens, and other mutants, and enemies, I had to." She loaded the slingshot, and aimed it across the room. She pulled it back, and let the bullet fly. The projectile flew across the room, making a strange little whistle as it did, and then embedded itself in the wood of the pommel horse on the other end of the huge warehouse floor with a quiet thunk.

She turned back to Eliza, the softheartedness gone. "I can kill a man from this far away, with a bullet casing," she said. "I can kill a Kraang in a robot from even farther away." She dropped the sling shot into the loop on her belt, and then picked up her knife. "I can tear a person's achilles tendon in less than a second," she slashed the knife low. "I can disembowel them in two," she made a straight line in front of her with the knife blade. "I can cut their throat in three," she waved the knife in front of her face, "and it will only take five for them to bleed out enough to be unable to attack me back."

She paused, regarding Eliza's reaction, and then sorrow filled her face,as if she were looking at a child who had lost their beloved toy.

"No one in my life would call me a fighter," she said again. "But I learned, because that is what I needed to do to keep my children safe." She echoed Eliza's very words that seemed to cause the ferret despair. "I learned," she smiled ironically, as if the thought had just occurred to her, "because I did not want to owe anyone anything." While still looking at Eliza, she reached into her belt, and hung the slingshot back on the nail. She walked over to the ferret, and put her hand on the woman's shoulder, and smiled warmly. "In this dangerous world that you now live in," her voice was gentle and apologetic, "There are few debts, and when you have them, they are usually paid back quickly. You are thinking like things are the same as out there," she gestured to the window again, indicating the rest of the city. "And they aren't." She rubbed her arm again, burying her fingers in her fur at the movement, "There is no such thing as guest status in the mutant world," Phoenix tried to make her voice light. "You are cooking me dinner in my own home on your first visit. I would hardly call that a guest." She smiled, "Repaying debts is easy, Eliza. It is choosing to not be in debt that isn't."

* * *

As Eliza listened to Phoenix talk about her early days she felt an intense connection to the feelings she was describing. Though some days were better than others, ever since the invasion of the lair by the ninja robots fear had seeped into her life. It was not only her trauma but Gwyn's as well. She suspected that some of her child's recent moodiness was, at least in part, a lingering symptom of Gwyn trying to cope with stress.

She knew for a fact that Gwyn had been having nightmares. What troubled Eliza was that her daughter had recently taken to slipping out of their shared bed to find one of the boys to hang out with till exhaustion claimed her again. Apparently mom was good enough when she was sad or lonely, but she wanted stronger guardians against the demons that now haunted her dreams. The girl could often be located on the couch, in Donnie's lab or even curled up in front of Splinter's door. None of them made the mistake of letting her into their room at night. Not after she had found a sleepy-eyed Gwyn curled into Mikey's side on his bed, when Eliza went looking for them after neither had showed for breakfast one morning. The children had both been wide-eyed and shocked silent in the face of a mother's fury, obviously confused about what they had done wrong. Eliza felt bad about the outburst later but the message had been delivered clearly to the males of lair and the infraction had not been repeated.

As Phoenix continued to talk about her life she was surprised to hear that not only had she not been a fighter till three years ago but that her children had taken up the art before her. That surprise paled in comparison to the small healer's demonstration of her skill. Eliza flashed back to the first moment she had seen the woman approach her in the alley, the sense of danger she had felt looking at her with only a glimpse of her knife and build. Had Eliza had even an inkling of the deadly ability that was now displayed before her she would have scurried back down that manhole despite her injuries.

The accuracy with the slingshot she could admire on a level of eye-hand coordination alone. However as the small woman, this matronly figure, started to equate her prowess to the ways in which she could incapacitate and even kill another being, Eliza's blood began to run chill. She did not begrudge anyone defending themselves, in some ways she even envied the ability, but to watch that hardness in a person she saw as a healer was disconcerting. Is that what this life did to people? Made the gentle hard and the young dangerous beyond their years. She saw it in the lair and now found it here as well. What would this life do to her? What would it force Gwyn to become? She shivered at the thought.

When Phoenix came close and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder she was unable to stop the twitch of muscle underneath, an instinctive rejection and fear at being harmed. It was foolish and Eliza was ashamed for thinking that her friend would ever hurt her. But just knowing that she was capable of it created a seed of wariness within her. It was much the same as being around Splinter. She trusted him but she also treated him with a respect and deference that she wouldn't normally show. In part because she had experienced first-hand his physical power.

"You are thinking like things are the same as out there, and they aren't." Eliza let Phoenix's words sink in and examined them as the healer rubbed her arm, her now gentle fingers finding the skin beyond her fur. There was so much she was being asked to give up. Though it had it's challenges, she had lived a blessed life, she was now being forced to turn away from the only world she had ever known. She smiled slightly at the thought that maybe she had been misreading the situation. That maybe she wasn't the burden that she thought she was. But still there was something lingering within her that was not completely at peace. If nothing else this conversation had opened her eyes a bit and she could see that she needed to make adjustments to the way she thought.

She tried to find the words to express what she thought about the things Phoenix had told her but it was too jumbled in her own head to string together anything remotely coherent. Instead she bowed her head in a bouncing nod. Hoping that the older woman would be satisfied with the noncommittal motion. She also placed her hand over the one Phoenix still had on her arm in a sign of gratitude. Though she may not fully understand and agree with everything her friend had tried to convey she knew that she was only trying to help her.

Eliza could hear the noise of the car's engine revving and a trio of cheers float up from the ground floor. Looking over she saw the water pot was finally at a roiling boil. It was as good a time as any to start the final preparations for dinner. She felt Phoenix's hand slide from her arm and walked towards the stove. A question finally detached from the mire of thoughts clouding her brain and came to the forefront of her mind. She picked up a box of pasta but did not put it in the water yet.

"Phoenix," She waited for the healer to acknowledge her. "What happened three years ago?" She looked over her shoulder and their eyes meet. "What made you finally become a fighter?"

* * *

She saw the uncertainty in Eliza's face, and the compliant nod, but decided not to push it any longer. Eliza was such a mixture of signals, of signs that she would flourish in the this life that had been pushed upon her, and signs that she would wither and die, if not outright be snuffed out from denial. It wasn't Phoenix's place to make that decision for her. However, the flinch at her touch, and reticence of her reaction was not lost on the little human being. It reminded the Phoenix of how different she was from those around her, that she didn't really belong anywhere, neither here nor there, even when speaking to someone who felt they did not belong either. It made her chest constrict with sadness, a sort of pity upon both herself and Eliza.

She sat down at the kitchen table, and considered Eliza's question, gathering her thoughts to make the story coherent to someone who did not know her. She chuckled slightly, how conceited she'd gotten, being put out to explain something to someone who didn't know her, as if everyone should know her.

"I don't help just mutants," she began, watching Eliza deal with the pasta. "I help humans, too. A lot of them are homeless, and they are mentally ill and have no family. Others are in gangs, or other groups, that are like gangs." She had a strong suspicion that Eliza didn't know much about street life, but she didn't want to sound patronizing in her explanations. She liked Eliza, it was nice to have another woman, an adult, a parent, who had the same worries she did, to talk to. She did not want to isolate her. Being patronizing to someone whom she cared little about the relationship was one thing. Having been given a jewel like the woman in front of her, even if she wasn't pregnant, was something altogether different.

"The Kraang found me," she said quietly. "For more than 15 years, I hadn't heard hide nor hair of them. They might as well have gotten back on their mothership and returned to their home planet. Then, one day I was helping someone, and they showed up again."

She was quiet for a while, her lips pursed, her eyes faraway again. "I was terrified," she admitted, her voice shaking slightly. "I had no idea what to do. The kids were with me that night," she laughed derisively, "which turned out to be a blessing. I don't know what would have happened to me if they hadn't been. There wasn't anything I could have done about any of those robots."

She took a deep breath, saying these things out loud was much harder than they were thinking them. She hadn't needed to tell anyone, the people who needed to know knew. There was no judgement in the telling to those who did not. There was no fear in the telling of those who did not. It was not the case here, and she knew it. Eliza still lived in the world of human beings, she still lived by the rules of human beings, and those rules were very different from the ones of the world she was now inhabiting. "That was the impetus that the children needed to convince it was time for me to learn how to use a weapon." Again, she laughed derisively. "Took me a while to choose one, though."

* * *

Eliza added the pasta to the boiling water and stirred. She turned so that she could see Phoenix at the table as she recounted her story but did not join her so that she could keep on eye on the pot and give the occasional stir. She was not surprised to hear that the healer dealt with more that just the mutant community. She had grown up on the east coast between several major metropolitan areas and knew of the type of people that were often drawn too or stuck by circumstance in those dense populations. She did not fear them but had mainly stuck to well lit tourist areas, as a result she had encountered those who had found themselves destitute, but not on a regular basis. Never had she imagined that she would actually be a member of those communities herself. Now here she was and yet wasn't at the same time.

She clutched the spoon a little harder in her hand at the mention of the Kraang. It seemed that so many troubles could be connected to the alien interlopers. She had always thought that it was plausible that life existed in vastness of the universe but it was disappointing to discover that those that had chosen to visit earth were manipulative and dismissive of the life already in existence. What made it worse was she had yet to hear of one redeeming quality she could attribute to the species. As callous as people could be as a whole, good could be found somewhere within each soul.

"Well, I can certainly understand feeling helpless against bots." She said quietly as she watched the pasta beginning to float of it's own accord. In a few more moments she would check for tenderness. She looked over and flashed a toothly grin. "Though, it might be worth it to fight if I had a chance to get some payback on kraang-bot or two." She laughed derisively. "I say that but my bark is worse than my bite. If only the kraang were vulnerable to high pitched verbal throwdowns, then I might have a fighting chance."

Eliza attended the pot for a few more minutes before fishing out a few limp strands of pasta into a bowl then spooned a small dollop of sauce on top. She tasted the mix and found that she was pleased with the result. The pasta was slightly firm but from experience she knew that it would continue to soften as the residual heat would cook it further before it was served. She brought the rest of the small portion over Phoenix and waited for her to taste it, hoping it would meet with her approval. "So… how is it?"


	15. Chapter 15

Phoenix gladly ate the delicacy offered to her, like a little baby opening its mouth for its mother.  She closed her eyes, and slumped her shoulders down.  “Oh, it’s perfect!” she said.   **  
**

She watched Eliza’s back as she returned to the pasta pot, and said, before the ferret woman could turn around, “You know, learning to fight isn’t that hard.  And it does feel pretty good to squish a few Kraang.”

She recalled rescuing the scientist from the building, with the dozens of bots coming at them.  She didn’t have her knife yet, it was that incident that caused her to make the decision on how to use one.  The anger that she’d experienced as she hit alien after alien scared her if she thought about it too much, but then, so did her scars if she thought about them too much.  Not knowing where something came from was more frightening than the knowing, she sometimes felt.  

“I could teach you to throw,” she said gently, “or to use the slingshot.  That way you never have to come close to the person who may be trying to hurt you.”    Eliza turned and looked at her, and Phoenix could not immediately read the look on her face.  “But you would be a formidable opponent in a hand to hand situation.”

“Dinner’s ready,” Eliza told her with the same look on her face.

Phoenix nodded and stood up, turning toward the stairs.  “DINNER”S READY!!” she thundered, her voice echoing through the empty spaces of the warehouse.  It was only a moment later before the clomping sounds of feet could be heard clambering up the stairs toward the top floor of the warehouse.

* * *

 

Eliza turned at the mention of being taught to fight. The idea was practical and had merit giving the circumstances, but there was a fear curled deep in her chest that made the prospect appalling to her. She remembered that first night of her mutation, so consumed by instinct, when she had attacked Raphael. She tried to justify herself , saying that she had been driven to it by her concern for Gwyn and in response to his assaults on her in the attempt to quell her rage. **  
**

Maybe those moments had their justification but she could not come to terms with what transpired in the face of Splinter. She had still been angry, trying to reach her daughter but in that instant when she lunged, there was more than motherly desire in her. She had gone for his throat, for a killing blow and a part of her was excited by it. Anticipating sinking her teeth into her prey and waiting as its’ blood filled her mouth, clamping down till her kill’s dying twitches faded to stillness. No, she could not fight with that haunting her, not in close quarters. It was Splinter’s skill that stopped her that day and the thought of what she could have done was still with her.

Pulling herself back to the present she commented that the food was ready, looking for anything to pull her away from her morbid thoughts. Phoenix called down stairs and the sound of the others joining them was clear.

Happy to be released from Phoenix’s focus the ferret placed the colander in the sink and grabbed a set of pot-holders and then drained the large pot of noodles. At home she would have combine the sauce and pasta but, since she was unsure of the tastes of her hosts, left it all separate and started to transfer the elements of the meal into serving bowls. She arrayed them on the counter, feeling the table would be too small once everyone was seated. She also added the leftover greens from lunch to the spread.

Looking to the stairway she saw the children entering and immediately questions and a fuss about the broken door being raised. She ducked her head guiltily and looked for something else to occupy herself. Apparently dinner would be delayed for a few moments. Making use of the extra time she set to cutting the bread and taking the steps to turn it into garlic bread. She took the tray over to the oven and popped it in to brown.

All the while cringing as the occasional raised voice echoed through the room.

Then she recognized her name being called and looked towards the sound, not having actually paid attention to what was being said.

“Yes!” Eliza said as an automatic response but then felt embarrassed at the silence that followed. “Sorry. What?” she amended with a nervous laugh.

* * *

 

“Woohoo!” Aries whooped as he, his brother, and sister emerged from the stairs.  “It smells like spaghetti.” **  
**

“It is spaghetti,” his mother said, “made fresh.”

“Fresh?” Arcos put his mouth in a pucker in a silent “Ooooooo”

“Why is the door on the floor?” Medusa asked.

“Hey!” Aries had stopped near the entrance to the floor, and looked at his mother accusingly.  “You break the door?”

“I didn’t break the door,” the Phoenix said simply, setting the table for five.

“What’s that, then?” the ram demanded, pointing to the door that now lay on the floor.

“I took the door off of the hinges,” she said.

“What did you take the door off of the hinges for?” he sounded highly indignant.

Medusa and Arcos headed toward the table, the argument happening before them seeming of no consequence now that the cause of it was revealed.

“Because I needed to get in the bathroom, and the door was locked,” Phoenix explained to her son.

“Why didn’t you put it back up?” he asked, his brows drew together.

“Because I was being a good hostess to my guest,” she seemed unperturbed by Aries’ attitude.  

“By taking the door off of the hinges so that no one can use the toilet?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said in a voice that signaled the end of the discussion.  “Our guest has made us dinner, and you are being rude by being  arguing about nothing more than door that needs a few screws put in it.”

The barb hit home, and the ram took a breath in, and looked away from his mother toward the bathroom door.

“Come and eat,” Phoenix urged, the stern tone in her voice was now gone.  “Eliza in an excellent cook.”

He came forward, coming to the counter, and taking a plate.  He smiled guiltily at Eliza when she looked up quickly, and loaded his plate with everything that available.  Each of the others followed suit, coming to the table to sit down, save for Medusa, who did not use a chair, but coiled in on herself so she was right height at the table itself.   None of them touched their food, but waited for Eliza, as if expecting her to do something.

When she didn’t, Phoenix gently called her name.  When the ferret woman did not answer, she called it again, a little louder, but with the same gentle tone.  

“Yes?”  she turned to them, her eyes wide in questioning.

None of them said anything, but looked at her as if the answer to the question should be obvious.

“Sorry,” she said, embarrassment in her voice, “What?”

“Serve yourself some dinner, and come sit down,” Medusa said, motioning with her skinny arm in a graceful motion, her voice a breathy imitation of her mother’s.  “There is a space for you,” she patted the place setting next to her.

* * *

 

“Oh!! ok. Just one minute.” Eliza responded and took peek inside the oven, the bread had tanned with just slightest hint of char marring a few curled corners. Throwing the door wide she extracted the baking sheet and with deft fingers, used to working with hot items, flipped the warmed garlic toast into a serving basket. Setting aside the pan she turned the heat from ‘broil’ to ‘350°’ before sliding her cobbler into place. She set the timer for 25 minutes and then went to the counter to fix herself a plate. **  
**

She took a generous helping of pasta and more sauce than was strictly necessary but ignored the greens, having already had her fill of them earlier in the day. With plate in one hand and basket in the other she came to the table. She bent low to deposit the bread in the center for all to reach, not realizing that her kitchen activities had caused the dip of her shirt to travel south, giving the boys a bit of a show with their dinner.

Unaware she set her plate down in the empty place setting and moved towards the seat that Medusa had indicated, trying in vain to avoid the girls’ coils. The young woman was wound tightly in on herself, but there was a lot of her and not so little of Eliza either, so that the ferret ended up brushing against her. Both fur and scale twitched at the contact but when Eliza had settled and looked over with silent apology there was a twinkle in the snake-girl’s eyes that reminded Eliza that Medusa was her mother’s daughter. A smile and look of secret amusement passed between them.

Eliza extended the smile to the rest of the company before closing her eyes and bowing her head. She silently blessed the food and thanked the Lord for the companionship before verbalizing a soft ‘Amen.’ There was so much more that she had in her heart to talk to her Maker about that it was hard to keep the prayer simple. Yet she knew that this was not the place and she would prefer some privacy when she eventually knelt to seek for solace. Taking a soft breath she lifted her head and prepared herself to be in proper spirits for a pleasant meal. She smiled broadly at the tables occupants.

“Sorry for the wait,” she said as she reached for the bread basket. “but I think you’ll find it was worth it.” Eliza dipped her garlic bread into the pile of sauce not yet blended into the noodles on her plate. She had the piece halfway to her mouth before noticing that some were looking at her and had not yet begun their meal.

“No need to be shy,” she said playfully. “Like it or not I’m not making anything else so best tuck in while you can.” She winked and crunched into her gravy soaked bread, savoring the taste with a loud and exaggerated “Mmmmmm.”

* * *

 

While the Phoenix would not eat until everyone else had, being the ‘matriarch’ at the table, the children were not eating for an entirely different reason.  Their curious looks at Eliza, while not at all malicious or disgusted, were unabashedly evident and not attempted to be hidden. **  
**

“Why did you wait to eat your food?” Medusa asked, reaching over to take a piece of bread, the cook having told her to do so.

“What was that you did?” Aries asked at the same time, spearing his salmon salad.

“It’s called a grace, kids,” Phoenix said, she felt the heat rising in her face and knew her cheeks must be turning an ugly shade of pink.  

“What’s a grace,” Arcos asked, putting a huge forkful of salmon salad in his own mouth right after the question.

“It is a way that people thank…” she paused slightly, trying to think of a way to say the words.  She has purposefully been vague in her children’s spiritual upbringing.  With her own being tugged in so many directions, and she still coming to her own conclusions after all, she felt that she would leave the way unhindered for their spiritual life.  She had given them a general idea of what she thought, that there was an ephemeral Creator, that what they could see was not all that was.  That was not difficult for the kids to understand from a young age, having to remain hidden themselves, and being created by brain-like aliens that never showed up anywhere else in the general consciousness around them.  Their mother’s uncanny knack to find mutants on the street lead credence to the belief.  But, with a purposeful grace, such as Eliza had now exhibited twice, she felt she had to choose her words carefully.  She chose to go with the most direct route.  “…God,” she said.

“Which god?” Medusa asked, looking from Eliza to her mother.

Phoenix knew her cheeks must now be downright mauve.  By the Amen, she knew it was a Christian one, but which particular Christian one, she couldn’t know.  She never, in her wildest dreams, thought she would ever have to explain this to any of the kids.  She had read many a religious text to them, they knew more about more holy books than most scholars, most likely.  To them, they were stories, nothing more.

“You will have to ask Eliza that,” Phoenix finally said, not knowing how to answer.

* * *

 

The woman listened to the exchange as she chewed on her mouthful of sauce and bread. She was not put-off by the questions because she could feel the genuineness with which they were asked. Phoenix had not said anything about her praying at lunch, and so had hoped that while it may not have been a practice in the home at least she wasn’t asked to desist. She had not even imagined it was an issue of non-exposure. **  
**

She spared a glance over her friend and instantly her heart went out to her. The flush on her face showed that she was extremely uncomfortable, either with the topic itself or the questioning of the children. She swallowed her mouthful and turned so that she was addressing Medusa, for once not feeling any hesitation in the face of the snake mutant.

“I believe in God the Father, in His Son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit.” She paraphrased the first tenant of her faith, instilled in her since she was a child and taught by her to many others over the years via either classroom or casual instruction. It was a topic she was extremely comfortable with when with like-minded individuals, yet still required a dollop of faith when in regular society. She was always reluctant to offend others. However she would not be closed-lipped when so forthrightly asked and Phoenix had given her permission to take up the topic, even seemed relieved that Eliza had taken the burden of explanation from her.

Gauging the faces of the children as they ate she could see that she would need to expound. “I was praying to the Father. It is something that I do on a daily basis and at most meals. I was thanking Him for the food and the company, both blessings that I believe He brought to me.” She smiled, the surge of gratitude swelling in her chest and was hard pressed to keep her voice even as she continued her instruction. “Then I was asking Him to bless both in kind. The food that it might nourish the bodies of those who ate it and you, that He bring to you happiness and the things that you might need. Then I sealed my prayer in the name of the Son, for it is thru Him that I can reach the Father. The Holy Spirit is the conduit by which my soul may receive instruction from them in return.”

Picking up her fork she played with her plate briefly before looking to Phoenix again. “I should have asked your permission. I’m just used to saying my own blessing at this point. Were I in my own home I would have said it out loud and asked others to join in should they feel so inclined.” She blinked and ducked her head a bit. “If it makes you uncomfortable I will pray before I sit at the table. Yoshi is not Christian and out of respect, Gwyn and I pray together separately before we call the others to diner.” She felt at peace with her explanation for the moment and so took the opportunity to procure a forkful of pasta. She chewed slowly and allowed her gaze to drift around the table, prepared for any clarification requested or to let the topic lay. 


	16. Chapter 16

Phoenix shook her head at Eliza’s apology, a genuine offense on her face.  “You don’t have to apologize for talking to God,” she said.  “No one should apologize for talking to God.  Just because we don’t say a blessing before meals, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”

Aries piped in, nodding his head, his slitted eyes having a difficult time staying Eliza’s face and not on her cleavage, “You can even say it out loud if you want to,” he offered.

Phoenix chuckled, showing her agreement, and nodded also.  

“Christian is The Bible, right?” Medusa asked, again looking from her mother to Eliza.

Again Phoenix nodded, and Eliza did too.  The healer watched the ferret woman, the doctor in her mind turned on, but the curiosity of her general noisiness did not turn off with it.  Saying a blessing at the table indicated a deep level of faith, saying  a blessing as to not offend others indicated a deep level of respect for other’s beliefs as well.  Eliza lived in a household that was not Christian, and not Christian enough that she felt the need to pray outside of the others that would sit at the dinner table.  The nosy thing in her wondered, what religion were her hosts?  Did they have a religion?  Or were they like she and her children, it being an open thing, for each to discover on their own in their own way?   A deep level of faith gave one something to hang onto when the times got tough, when things seemed at their worst, when despair crept into the bones around the heart, trying to wheedle its way into the muscle.

Again, the dichotomy of Eliza’s reactions fascinated the Phoenix, in a clinical, professional way.  Here, she was unashamedly telling her children of her faith, in a very practiced way that showed she’d said the words before.  They gave just enough information to not give too information, and excellent way to answer any question.  Yet, she seemed, at times, to have no faith in what had been put in front of her, and what had been put in front of her was impossible to ignore.  The woman seemed to be making every effort, at least Phoenix’s brief examination of her, to be doing just that.  She had been changed into an animal woman, and after what was turning into months, had not come to accept it.  She still worked with money, she sent people to the store to buy things.  That, alone, continued to blow Phoenix’s mind.  She was now confirmed pregnant, and had fainted on the floor of Phoenix’s water closet, long enough that the little woman had been able to take the door down off of its hinges.  

And now, after the uncertainty of the time with the children not present, she was acting as if this was a regular social call, something done on a usual basis, giving off the air of confidence and comfortability.  Phoenix could see where the knack for ignoring things would come in handy in a situation like this.  It gave one the ability to act one way at one time, and another way at another time.  She’d never been able to do that.  Her emotions showed her face like a beacon, she knew, and had stopped trying to hide them a long time ago.  There wasn’t anyone to hide them for, until Chategris and the Grey Cats had come into her life.  They were honest enough with her that she didn’t feel the need to be dishonest with them.  So the hiding of things was gone from her life, and she did not think it had ever even been present in the lives of her children.  She had forgotten how much of a social convention that was, to school one’s features, one’s feelings, to the point that the people around you would have no clue as to what was going on in one’s thoughts.  If Phoenix had not been present earlier, she would not know that Eliza had any kind of turmoil twisting in her heart.

“Catholics use the Bible too,” Aries said.  “The Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholic.”  Arcos and Medusa looked at him like he was crazy.

“How do you know that?” Arcos asked, his voice highly incredulous.

“Myra told me,” Aries’ brows drew together in annoyance.  “I do talk to her, you know.”

Phoenix made a loud clearing of her throat to which all three children fell silent and looked at their plates.  

Aries was the first to poke his head up, “Are you Catholic?” he asked Eliza.  “Or some other kind of Christian?”

“There’s more than one kind?” Medusa muttered.

Phoenix felt her cheeks going red again.  So much for trying to give them an inclusive religious education.

* * *

Eliza had to contain a chuckled snort at Medusa’s comment, more than one kind indeed! She swung her head to Aries first, giving him her most encouraging smile, pleased and delighted with his knowledge and enthusiasm in continuing the topic. **  
**

“You are absolutely correct Aries.” She praised, as she would any student, and graced him with her most encouraging smile. He seemed to beam at the compliment and attention. “Catholicism is among one of the largest sects of Christianity, but by no means the only one. And though I have to been to several of their services over the years, I am not one.”

She took a sip of water before continuing and saw that Aries was leveling a somewhat smug look at his siblings. The woman made note that she would have to be more careful in the compliments she gave in the future. Eliza didn’t feel too bad though, he had earned his moment.

The ferret turned her head to direct her next comment to the girl next to her. “There are a multitude of ways that Christianity is practiced but it can generally be divided into two major camps. Those who count themselves members of an organized religion, like Catholics, Baptists and Protestants, and others who believe but do not adhere to any form of formal structure. Preferring to take a more individual approach to their spirituality. There are still others who take a type of middle ground. Choosing what tenants they believe but still like to gather together in non-denominational congregations to enjoy worship with other followers of Christ.”

Eliza did not expect to be giving a religious lecture with the meal. But she was reveling in the opportunity to discuss the topic so openly with a group. It was not as if she was restricted in anyway from doing so in the lair, just that no one had expressed more than a passing curiosity in her and Gwyn’s religious observances. The only exception possibly being Mikey who sometimes joined them for their sabbath day lessons. Eliza suspected that he came more for the individual attention that Gwyn would dote on him or to possibly get on her mother’s good side. Still he had a lovely tenor that blended nicely with Eliza and Gwyn’s more practiced voices during the hymns they sung. So when the teen sought admittance to their room on the occasional Sunday morning, an old found paisley tie draped about his neck, she welcomed him in.

“While I believe that all spirituality should be approached on an individual basis, I would classify myself firmly in the first camp. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but we are more commonly known as Mormons.” The woman swept her gaze around the table as she declared her affiliation. She was pleased to find no judgement or preconceived notions reflected back at her. It was a pleasant change. “I would consider myself a very involved member and consistent in adhering to its’ beliefs and practices.” Immediately the pleasant feeling she had been enjoying deflated slightly as guilt tried to claw at her.

“Until recently that is.” She clarified before tucking into her plate with gusto, using the perceived hunger to acquire the mental space she needed to stamp down her self-doubt. Regardless, the food had come out very good and she hated to let it cool too much before enjoying her meal.

* * *

“Oh!” Medusa smiled and nodded proudly, returning her brother’s smug look, “We’ve read the Book of Mormon!  Mama read it out loud to us.” **  
**

She had indeed.  She’s also read them The Bible, with The Apocrypha, as that was the one her own Grandmamman had tried to drill into her and the rest of her generation in her family, The Koran, The Baghavad Gita, Dianetics, The Kojiki, The Tipikata, every ancient Greek and Roman holy text known to exist, and many other lesser known books, all of which were found in the garbage.   At least she knew her kids were listening to her when she read out loud.

“Is that the one where the guy builds the ship and comes over the sea?” Arcos asked, his eyes squinted in thought.

“That’s Noah’s Ark,” said Aries.

“No,” the bear drawled.  “I mean, the one where the guy sails across the sea with the big family, and they tie him up.”

Their mother just listened to her children’s conversation, and Eliza’s answers.  So, Eliza was Mormon?  That surprised the Phoenix.  Of all denominations, she had never thought of a mutant as a Mormon.  Of course a mutant could be a Mormon, why couldn’t a mutant be one?  If one was before they came in contact with the mutagen ooze, why wouldn’t they be afterward, unless they consciously decided to leave the faith?

She was aware that many of the Grey Cats had a strong faith, Chategris himself being one of them.  A Haitian Catholic himself, raised with a strong dose of Voodoo, he had a crucifix around his neck sometimes, Phoenix guessed in times of personal trouble.  She knew that Myra was also a Catholic, from a Hispanic background, both of them different from her grandmother’s French-Canadian brand.  She would think that there were others, Catholic and otherwise, within in the group, and she wondered errantly if any of them were Mormon.

The ferret woman’s last comment struck her, however, and the strange mixture of faith and uncertainty came to the forefront of her mind again.  A little niggling began in the back of it, tied to the front, but the thread was fuzzy, a dull gray color, and she couldn’t read it accurately in her own head.

“Why until recently?” Phoenix asked, after the ferret mutant had addressed her children.  While an unmarried pregnancy might denote a divergence from a religion’s set path, the Phoenix knew that no one could keep all tenants of any faith.  That would not have been the first transgression in two years the woman had committed.  “Do its beliefs and practices change when one becomes mutated?”

* * *

Eliza had to take a step back from her previous concept that the children were not exposed to religion. To hear that they had been read the Book of Mormon and apparently, from the banter between the siblings, the Bible as well, she found extremely impressive. She swallowed her mouthful and waited for an appropriate point to enter the conversation. When Acros showed that he had actually retained some details she could hold back no longer. **  
**

“Well done Acros!” She was so happy that it colored her tone and chased away her personal shadows. “You are thinking of Nephi. He sailed with his family from the old world to the American continent. Unfortunately he had a couple brothers who had a habit of forgetting the hand of God in their lives and did not take too kindly to being reminded of it. That family’s journeys and trials are the first ones we learn about when reading the book, but certainly not the last.”

“We try to take the record of these people and apply their lessons in our own lives.” Eliza abandoned her meal, folding her arms and inclining her body forward, completely engaged in the topic. “In fact you all remind me of one of my favorite stories.”

Eliza fell naturally into her teacher mood without even consciously deciding to. “There was a righteous general who had to lead 2,000 young men into their first battle to protect a people who could not defend themselves. The fight was long and fierce but they were eventually victorious over a much larger force. As the general inspected the troops afterwards he was afraid to find how many he had lost. Every one of them had many wounds but not a single soul had perished. He asked them how they had all made it through the battle and they said that they were taught by their mothers that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. They said "We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”“

She looked around the table and gave the children a mischievous smile. "The story teaches us about a just cause, righteous leadership, obedience and the value of faith.” She paused and winked. “But my favorite point is that moms really do know what they’re talking about and you should listen to them.” She leaned back and laughed, unfolding her arms and placing her hands on the table on either side her plate.

Eliza looked to Phoenix, hoping that the other mother would enjoy her take-away message, only to find that her friend seemed distracted, lost in her own thoughts. As if sensing her attention the older woman looked up at that moment and asked about Eliza’s recent change in activity. The ferret felt her neck warm with a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

“No its beliefs do not.” She said, fighting to keep the harshness she felt out of her voice. “But it is rather hard to ‘attend meetings regularly’ when you can’t even walk into the building.” She sensed her hands clenching and tried to relax but she could feel a tide of emotions rising up even as she fought to explain her situation in a calm manner. “Even then there are past examples to pull from. People who have had to practice their faith in isolation. Adaptation is acceptable where necessary.” She flattened her hands on the table and pushed herself to standing while looking directly at Phoenix. “And sometimes ‘ones’ adherence has nothing to do with their mutation.”

She looked to the rest of the table and said in an overly sweet voice, “Be right back, just need to check on the cobbler.” and walked away, her tail puffed and swinging with agitation as she entered the kitchen.

* * *

Aries would have happily oogled at Eliza’s rather nice behind as she bent over to check the cobbler, but the change in her voice from appraising, to downright snippy, to as sweet as honey utterly shocked him.  He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it.  He had still been basking in the praise she’d given him from his knowledge, but she spoke to his mother in a way that no one ever spoke to her, not even Chategris.  What she said wasn’t wrong, there was nothing wrong with the words, but the way she said it was filled with venom, like a verbal face slap.  He decided didn’t like people speaking to his mother that way, and a niggle of protectiveness fingered his chest.   At the same time, it didn’t seem that this nice, and very attractive, lady from a moment ago could suddenly have turned so hostile. **  
**

* * *

Arcos blinked confusedly, what just happened?  Eliza was acting like his mother had said something inappropriate, but the ferret-woman had been going on about her religion.  He seen some of the Grey Cats get upset when the concept of religion came up, Myra being one of them, but Eliza seemed more than eager to share.  He had the impression she would probably even have gone into her own personal beliefs, especially with her comment about keeping tenets until recently.  Yet, when his mother had asked about what had changed since her mutation, she’d brushed up like a electrified cat.  He could see the fur pricking up through her clothes, and the smell of fear, indignation, and anger filled his nostrils.  He turned to his mother questioningly, at a complete loss as to how one was supposed to act in a situation like this.

* * *

The agitation in the ferret-woman’s body language was clear, she was almost thrashing her tail back and forth just as Medusa did when she was upset.  A flick of the snake’s tongue tasted anger, and below that fear.  What in the world did she have to be afraid of?  Medusa turned to her mother, and then heard her retort.  Oh poop, Mama was mad.  The ferret mutant definitely had something to be afraid of now.

* * *

Did the woman just sing-song to her children that she need to check the cobbler?  The three kids looked at her bushed up tail, a sure sign that a ferret was upset.  All of them knew that from their experience with the Grey Cats.  From Eliza’s back, they all turned their heads to their mother, their expressions confused at the sudden change in their guest’s attitude.

While none of them were unfamiliar with such tactics, the Phoenix had never had it directed between herself and her children.  It was always between she and some other woman, usually to get Chategris’ attention.  Or, it was one of the Grey Cats attempting to get the attention of one of her children.  It was never to draw a line between she and her children.  The fact that it could be done, within her own family, from someone outside of it, had never really crossed her mind, and the fact that it happened now seemed almost incomprehensible.

She felt a surge of anger bubble up from her chest.  Eliza may be disturbed at her mutation, but that was no excuse for such a breach of manners.  She may be in distress at her living situation, in the sewer, with a man who was obviously rather uncompromising, but that was no excuse for such an underhanded reaction.  She may be dismayed about her pregnancy, something that should be ultimately joyous, something that was downright miraculous, but that was no excuse for her to attempt to put a wedge between she and her children.

 _That_ was not acceptable.

“When I was growing up,” The Phoenix said, watching Eliza’s tail as the ferret-woman bent over to examine the cobbler in the oven, “all sins were equal, no matter what they were.  None had more magnitude than any other.  Has that changed?”  Her voice, while not malicious, was imperious, truly the voice of The Phoenix, none of the mother or sweet healer in it.

* * *

Eliza bent into the oven, the dry heat not even close to matching the burn in her veins. What the hell was wrong with her? She knew that she wasn’t really angry with Phoenix, just upset that she had brought her back to a reality that she was trying to ignore, but the knowledge did nothing to quell the rage that she felt. It was like a sleeping dragon coiled deep in the pit of her stomach, and she had let her guard down, been lulled into the pleasant conversation, so that when confronted with a simple question, one that that she set herself up for, she had not been prepared for how angry it had made her. The beast had awakened and trying to soothe it again was not proving an easy task.

As she looked at the cobbler, not even close to being ready, she felt the embarrassment of her actions slowly crowding out her anger. Then the Phoenix’s comment and query reached her ears and it only added fuel to her dragon’s ire. She stood up and closed the oven door with controlled precision. She didn’t turn, didn’t look at her host, just stared at the wall as the seconds ticked by.

“What a comforting thought.” She said to no one in particular, her voice icy. “To think that what I’ve done carries the same weight as pinching a pack of gum from the corner store.” Finally she turned and crossed back towards the group, body full of taut lines and measured steps. She stopped at the counter, using it as a barrier between her and the rest of the family. “I thought you understood, but I can see now that you don’t fully comprehend the magnitude of the covenants I’ve broken. Or the limbo I am left in.”

As soon as the words left her mouth she felt a backlash of emotion coming from the group. She’d crossed the line more than once and was on the verge of a real confrontation. A part of her almost welcomed it. She’d been so confined within this alien skin for so long, playing her proper part in the lair, that it might feel good to let loose. It was childish and stupid and something that she used to with Grant all the time. They would yell and scream and hurl insults at each other, but as soon as the poison of the moment had been milked out, they returned to laughs and ‘I love yous’. There was never any pretense between them. And she had never been more free. But these people were not her family. They did not know her. They did not understand. Yet, underneath her hurt there was a burning desire for someone to know who she really was once again.

 _‘Just apologize’_ she told herself. _‘You need her, don’t make it worse.’_ Her pride wasn’t worth alienating them. So, like always, she yielded. Taking a breath she folded in on herself. She calmed her anger and hurt, pulling it back and chaining it down. The ferret dropped her head and let go of the tension in her body.

“I’m sorry.” she said, showing her proverbial underbelly, “You didn’t deserve that and I’m being rude. It was just nice to pretend to be the person I used to be, even for a moment, that your question caught me off guard and brought me back to the now. I took my frustration out on you, and that wasn’t fair.” She looked at Phoenix, but did not move from her spot, not yet feeling she had made amends.

“To answer your earlier question, well, I told you what happened in the days before I was mutated, at least the gist of what occurred.” She could feel her neck warm, embarrassed to explain herself in front of the others, but knew it was the only way to make up for her behavior. “I broke covenants that night, promises between myself and God. And I feel that weight everyday.” She blinked her eyes, trying to stave off the tears and regret that threatened to overwhelm. “If I were human still, there are steps I would have taken, comfort and council I would have sought.”

Eliza took a deep breath and looked at Phoenix, hoping that she hadn’t burned a bridge so newly build. “So even though I’ve tried to overcome it my own, I still struggle with feelings of unworthiness. That’s what’s changed recently. I teach my daughter about virtue and honesty when the whole time I feel like a fraud and a hypocrite.” She was completely exposed and the fear of their judgement settled on her heart. “Now, what should have been my secret to keep, my trial to overcome will be exposed to everyone, and that terrifies me.”

She took another breath. “But I will face the consequences and do everything I can to make this right.” Eliza looked to the other woman pleadingly. “These are my burdens to deal with and I should not have been rude and taken them out on you. Please forgive me. I will leave if you ask me to. But, I hope you’ll still let me come back for the check-ups. The baby and I need you.”


	17. Chapter 17

The Phoenix saw, from the corner of her eyes, all three of her children tighten as Eliza addressed her, stating that she did not understand what Eliza was talking about.  Arcos, fur actually began to stand on end on his neck and his back, puffing his shirt out.  Aries let out a breath, not quite a huff, his face changed now from confusion to wariness.  Medusa had raised herself on her coils, not to straighten herself out threateningly, but high enough to become the tallest one in the room.

The barb Eliza threw her way definitely hit her, not understanding was something that Phoenix did not like, and she liked being accused of it even less.  Her rational mind went through a series of platitudes, _Of course you don’t understand, all you know about Mormonism is their myths in their books.  You’ve not been turned into a giant animal-person, and then become pregnant.  You are being an atrocious hostess, Phoebe, you invite someone over for the first time in almost 20 years, they cook you dinner, and you make them mad?  What’s wrong with you?…_ But then, the part of her that was angry, that part of her that didn’t like to not understand, that didn’t like being wrong, that worked so that it was never wrong, even when her rational mind knew she was, spat out at her, _This woman is an ungrateful wretch.  She has no idea of how blessed she is.  She has no idea how many people would take her ‘burden’ in a heartbeat and be glad until the day they died._  She knew her face was that of the harsh leader of her family, the one that overruled even Chategris with the Grey Cats when she felt the need to do so, and she knew it was not a kind face.

As soon as Eliza’s fur began to flatten, and her shoulders hunched down to their normal position, and her face smoothed, The Phoenix felt her own anger fade away.  The words, “I’m sorry,” made her heart hurt, and Eliza’s confession dissipated any vitriol that may have remained from being the target of the ferret-woman’s outburst.

At the mention of a baby, along with their mother’s tension fading away, all three of children’s attitude changed.  “Baby?” Medusa said, her black eyes lighting up.

“You have a baby?” Arcos asked at the same time, “Why didn’t you bring the baby?”

“Who’s keeping the baby?” Aries said, the word baby floating about the room like a bouncy ball.  “You could have brought the baby, we would have kept it.”

“ _Nous allons parler de bebe plus tard,_ ” the Phoenix said, waving her hand dismissively in the air, her eyes never leaving Eliza.

“Awww,” muttered Aries very softly.  “I wanna hold the baby.”

“I think you make burdens of things that aren’t,” Phoenix said gently, getting up from the table and walking toward the counter that separated the two women.  “I also recall from my catechism classes that none of us are supposed to be burdened, if we give the burden to Christ, that our burdens are all our own doing.”  She reached the counter, and the tears in the woman’s eyes made her own tear up.  She put her hands on the counter, next to Eliza’s but not quite touching them.  She could feel the heat from the ferret’s body in them, seeping into the countertop and spreading to her own hands.  “I am not a Mormon,” she said slowly.  “I do not know how one atones for a breaking of one’s covenants in your religion.  However, I would hope you’d find comfort in knowing that the ‘sin’ you have committed is just as grievous as pinching gum for a candy story.  I’m pretty positive all of Christianity agrees on that one.”  She smiled, in an attempt to lighten the mood.  “I don’t know what steps you would have taken if you were still human,” she said again, “but I hope you could find comfort, at least, and maybe council here.”  Her voice was high, like a little girl’s.  

She did not address Eliza’s comment of teaching her daughter, it was a conflict she had within her own heart that she was not willing to air in front of her children.  Perhaps she’d be brave enough to broach it when they were alone once again.  She pushed it to the side, unable to push it completely out of her mind, and said, “Apologize when you have to, Eliza, but don’t ever beg.  It doesn’t become you.”

Aries giggled at the statement, and Phoenix did not stop him.

* * *

Eliza’s eyes flitted between the excited faces of the snake, bear and ram as they immediately picked up on a baby being entered into the equation but proceeded to misunderstand the terms. Well at least, like their mother, they were excited. That was a positive. **  
**

She looked at their mother as she approached. Phoenix’s countenance had softened and Eliza felt relief flood her system. The ferret blinked and a few tears escaped only to be absorbed by the darker grey of the furry mask that encompassed her eyes. The other woman’s comforting words were like a sweet balm to her heart. She could not reconcile them all with her own feelings, but the love and acceptance with which they were given was not diminished. She felt her soul vibrating within her, accepting the compassion which was being offered. She felt fractionally lighter as the older woman concluded her remarks, enough to muster a small smile at the advice not to beg and the giggle from the table.

Looking down she turned her hand up, palm offered as an olive branch, and smiled when her still friend slipped her small hand into a manicured paw and squeezed. Eliza returned the gentle pressure, feeling the last remnants of her emotional high dissipating.

“I’ll try to remember that.” She ducked her head in both amusement and embarrassment. “Though, I have a feeling this may not be the last time I’ll be apologizing for an emotional outburst.” If her face were not covered with fur the blush on it would have been evident. “Grant would always laugh at how much of hormonal whirlwind I could be the first time around.” She said with fond amusement as her free hand fell to her abdomen with sweet remembrance of another time when life had been growing inside her. She was brought out of the moment by the sound of hushed whispers coming from the table.

She looked to the children briefly before returning her attention to their mother. She took a breath and made a decision. “I want to accept your offer. I want to come back often, and not just on business. But if I do I think that perhaps it is best for me to be upfront with everyone.” Her eyes darted to the table before returning to settle on the healer’s. “I can see how accepting you all are and so there is no need to burden myself by hiding while I’m here.”

“Aries” she called, sharing a smile with his mother while everyone’s attention came to rest on her again. “I will gladly let you hold the baby. But you will have to wait a few more months,” she squeezed Phoenix’s hand again, seeking support. “until your mother has helped me deliver my child.”

* * *

The hushed whispers at the table were no longer hushed, and the owners of them were suddenly no longer at the table.  All three children leapt up from the table and darted to their mother’s back, delighted and shocked smiles on their faces. **  
**

“You’re going to have a baby?  When are you going to have the baby?”

“You’re pregnant?  How is that possible?  How long have you been pregnant?”

“Whose the father?  Where’s the father?  Is he a ferret, too?”

Phoenix felt Eliza’s hand jerk slightly at the sudden onslaught, and wasn’t sure if it was the assault of questions, or the physical quickness with which her three large children, two of them at the top of the predatory chain, came at the counter opposite the ferret.  She kept her hand firmly wrapped around Eliza’s paw, to keep it from being jerked away if the jump happened again at a higher intensity.  The wide smile on her face at her children’s reaction was pleasure tinged with pride.  The fact that Eliza felt comfortable enough to say such a thing, shone on the character of her children.  She felt, at least.  But then, having that kind of outburst in front of her family also shone on the character of her family, now that she was calmer and could think about it.  One did not tend to lash out at those they were not comfortable with.  That made the Phoneix feel very smug, indeed.

The comment about hiding was not lost on Phoenix, though it did seem to be lost on the children.  What did she have to hide, and from whom?  Surely she didn’t have to hide the fact she’d slept with someone from her host?  Unless, he was the jealous type.  Maybe he was.  She remembered when the two of them had first met, and Eliza could not take the underground hospitality any longer.  That didn’t bode well.  The Phoenix knew more about jealous types of men than she ever thought she would.

 _“Nous allons parler de bebe plus tard,_ ” she said again.  With her eyes still on Eliza,  she said, “Why don’t you kids go make yourselves useful, and we will call you up when dessert is done.”

It took no more prompting for the three of them to head to the stairs, leaving the ferret and healer alone.

Phoenix had not let go of Eliza’s hand, and hoped her look was,  at the very least,  non-threatening.  "Eliza,“  she said gently, "since we are going to be seeing a bit of each other, is there anything you would like to tell me?”

* * *

A nervous laughed escaped her throat before she could smother it. “That’s a bit of a loaded question isn’t it?” The look that the medicine woman gave her wasn’t particularly amused. **  
**

She took a big sigh, letting out some of the tension she had been holding in since the children had rushed at her. Not that she really thought that they were going to hurt her, just that they were a lot to take in all at once. Their questions were not completely unexpected and though it would have been somewhat awkward she had been prepared to answer some of them. At least they were direct.

Their mother’s query on the other hand was almost too opened ended. Phoenix had just, in essence, not only become her friend, something she desperately wanted, and her midwife, a service that she needed. She usually liked to develop such relationships slowly, allowing them to build over time. Yet already she had crossed the boundaries of polite behavior and been not only forgiven but still accepted enthusiastically by the family. It was a grace that she was thankful for.

Yet at the same time, inviting Phoenix and her children to become part of her life meant that she would expose the other people she was connected to. Something that was definitely frowned upon by Master Splinter. It was his home that she lived in, it was his rules that she felt bound to respect. How could she balance her needs and still hold to his edicts. She thought it over for a moment and decided that the best was to just be as open with her new confidant. If she was going to trust this woman with the life of her unborn child and her own safety then she might as well trust her with the circumstances of her life.

“But you deserve some answers. As you may have guessed, Yoshi, my host, doesn’t know that I’m here nor would he approve of me being so. He is very insistent that his family maintain secrecy, to not be detected by the surface world in order to maintain the safety of everyone. Because Gwyn and I live in the lair, their home, we fall under that same edict.” Eliza laughed self deprecatingly “Ironically Gwyn has a bit more freedom than I do. She goes off with April often enough and the teen seems to be making an attempt to live a split life. Going to school while recently spending much of her free time with the boys, his four sons.”

“I, however, am no longer human and not properly ‘trained’ to avoid detection. I think he sees me as a liability frankly.” She shrugged not really being able to determine what was going on in the rat-man’s head. “He even insisted that I hide from Lee, the…” she swallowed heavily still finding it painful to even think about the man whom she had once thought was going to be her future in terms of the current situation. “the fa… my fiance’, what had happened.”

She placed her other hand over their already entwined ones. “So you see, Yoshi is not going to be happy to find out that I went against his wishes by coming to the surface and being discovered.” She huffed. “I guess that his arguments weren’t entirely unfounded. But once I tell him the situation, and that I’ll be going above ground for my care I doubt that he will be accommodating. Like I said, I’m not afraid of him turning me and Gwyn out, but he is a formidable mutant and very skilled. If he takes it upon himself to keep me from coming here again or more likely, shadowing me. Well,” she looked at Phoenix with trepidation. “I doubt there is much I could do to stop him.”

“So, even though I very much enjoy the warmth and hospitality of your home. Until an understanding has been reached, perhaps it’s best if we find a more neutral place for our check-ups.” She tried to feign a smile. “Yoshi is a good man, I owe him a lot. But lets just say that to describe him as ‘overprotective’ would be an understatement.”


	18. Chapter 18

The Phoenix listened closely to what Eliza said, trying to discern any hidden meanings, conscious or unconscious, that might be relayed in the explanation.  She found none, it appeared that Eliza was being open and honest, that was always a good thing. **  
**

She wracked her brain for a mutant named Yoshi, and couldn’t bring up anyone who might even have a name close to that.  But when Eliza mentioned he had sons, she knew she didn’t know these people.  She had never met another set of mutants who had children.  Shoot, if she had, she’d have been in their grills like white on rice!  Kids who had parents would have been a way better choice of companions than kids in a gang!

But, she didn’t know them, and Eliza was obviously very trepidatious of them.   However, everything she had explained was not unreasonable.  In fact, for most of the mutant community, it was perfectly normal!  It seemed, not from a place of fear of being hurt for being there, but fear of being hurt by disobedience.  That would mean that this Yoshi was highly unyielding.  She squashed down annoyance, it wasn’t her place to judge how someone ran their life.  This was a hard enough life as it was, the man probably had very good reason to be unyielding, despite the fact that The Phoenix may portray that same character trait from time to time.  She squashed that thought down too.

“The desire to not be detected is normal,” she said slowly, “among mutants.  We don’t want people to know we exist, and that is difficult to do if we are detected.”  She blushed slightly as she admitted, “You are the first person I have ever invited to my house.”

She turned her face to the side, and her face got even redder and shamefaced, “And I would agree with Yoshi.  You aren’t the best at not being detected.”  She grimaced as she said it.  “I wouldn’t be too harsh on him for being…careful.”  She chose the last word carefully.  The man sounded more than careful.  He sounded controlling.  She remembered her own learning curve with controlling men, and it wasn’t fun.  Perhaps he was showing Eliza more about ‘life’ than  just giving her a place to live, if he was so determined to keep her put.  It sounded like he afforded her human daughter much more freedom.  That worried her.  It was not as if her being human made her safer.  She was in just as much danger of being mauled as Eliza.  How many homeless people had she tended who had been hurt, on purpose, by other human beings?  Gwyn would just be less noticeable than a mutant, not safer.  Perhaps he’d been removed from the human world so long that he had forgotten that.

She wanted to tell her, ‘If you like, you can tell him about me.  Most mutants know how I am,’ but she got the feeling that might make the situation worse.  If he was as controlling as he seemed, then he would not want The Phoenix interfering in his lady’s affairs, whether she was pregnant with another man’s child or not.

She also wanted to say something about her fiance’, Lee had she said his name was?  But, what could she say?  Eliza couldn’t tell him she was now a giant ferret.  Who knows how he would react.  The humans who didn’t run and scream were few and far between, after all, who in their right mind wants to be confronted with a monster?

“Meeting in a ‘neutral location’ will be just fine.  I meet all of my patients in neutral locations,” her face changed from guilty to a wide, knowing smile.  “Besides,” she assured her, “there is whole lot to do for quite a while yet.”  She put her eyes up and to the side, a tell tale sign she was thinking.  “I think.”

* * *

 

The ferret-woman ducked her head as Phoenix supported Yoshi’s position. A small part of her had hoped that he had gone beyond his reach, but apparently his tendencies were in the norm amongst the mutant community. So much for her assumption that it was a ninja thing. **  
**

She was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to come back here again until things were squared with Splinter. That was assuming that the rat sensei ever trusted her again after her escapades came to light. He was not completely unreasonable she knew, but it was still going to be a sore spot. Even if the revelation about her pregnancy would color the fallout.

Eliza was flattered to hear that she was the first person, relatively speaking, that Phoenix had invited to her home. She enjoyed the medic’s home. It was expansive, bright and open. Granted a fair amount of that could be attributed to being above ground, but there was also a welcoming spirit most likely because of the family that inhabited the home. Beyond that there was a feminine feel to the space that she hadn’t realized she had missed so much until being exposed to it again. She did not have a talent for home decor in general but living in a boys club had blossomed a newfound appreciation for softer ascetics.

She nodded and gave the healer’s hands a final squeeze before extracting her own. “Thank you for understanding. And I guess I owe Yoshi more than one apology when I talk to him. Learning about other mutants has definitely given me a new perspective on what ‘normal’ is.” She shrugged in a nonverbal admittance of her own ignorance. Deciding there was little else she could say until she actually knew how Hamato Yoshi would take her news she decided to move on. “Anyway, you know the city much better than I do, maybe you could show me someplace that would be appropriate later. Preferably a space with a bit a privacy. It may not be strictly ‘necessary’ for a while yet but I’d like the option if at all possible. In the meantime have you thought about how you’d like to track things now that we know that we’re dealing with a pregnancy?”

Eliza moved to the table and started to gather up the plates as the medicine woman thought. She snagged another piece of garlic bread and popped it in her mouth as she set to the task, piling the dishes near the sink and giving Phoenix a smile that was mostly a squinting of her eyes when she joined her by storing away what little leftovers were remaining. The healer proposed some ideas as they worked, Eliza occasionally commenting when she had an opinion on the matter but found that most of them made common sense and agreed without too much debate.

The smell of the cobbler was starting to waft through the kitchen and she peeked in to legitimately check on the progress of the baking this time. It was just hinting at a tan and would be ready to pull out in another couple of minutes. She adjusted the timer to reflect the new estimate and leaned back on the counter, taking in her host once again. There were so many things ahead of her but just knowing that this small woman was willing to stand by her made some of them not nearly as scary as they had been just a few hours ago.

“This was nice.” She waved her hand at the room in general indicating the time they had shared. “I hope we’ll get to do this again someday. Though maybe with a little less drama.” She laughed at herself, knowing that she was the cause of it. “I’d like to say that I’m not normally this high maintenance but,” the ferret woman smiled patted her stomach twice “no promises on that front when it comes to preggers.”

* * *

 

Phoenix felt her heart strings pull at the look of Eliza’s face as she came to terms with the little piece of mutant life known as secrecy.  It was an aspect of all of their lives, all the time, and it needed to be taken seriously.  The fact that ferret-woman admitted this, even if only for the moment, was a step toward accepting her new life as not-entirely-human-being.  Another tiki mark for Eliza. **  
**

“Where to meet?” she went through ‘private’ places in her mind.  “There are a few places.  The docks are private at night, and when they aren’t they don’t tend to be filled with…ahhh…” she smiled and blushed, “reliable witnesses.”  She chuckled.  “Or, there are lots of old warehouses, however, they do tend to get taken over by undesirables for permanent living places occasionally.  Now, none of them are reliable witnesses either, but,” she shrugged, “they’re more permanent if we happen to run into them.  Or,” she opened her eyes, and nodded,  “there are many abandoned apartments in the city, buildings that are flat out empty where no one goes.  Now,” she looked a bit embarrassed, “there is a reason why no one goes to them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t clean them and shore them up.”

She watched the ferret in a kind of sweet haze bustle about the kitchen, putting food away and clearing the table.  It was so nice to see someone swish and clean the place, with a waggle of a tail and strides of strong legs.  She smiled, thoroughly contented, especially in the aftermath of the previous storm.  “I think that, if you’ve been pregnant for the past few months, then you’re probably going to have something closer to a human pregnancy than a ferret one.   Of course, what that means exactly, I am not sure.  I am thinking of going with signs of the pregnancy, rather than an actual amount of time…I think that might be a safer bet as to where you are in the pregnancy itself.”

She felt that she was giving such inadequate information, all ‘I thinks’ and ‘maybes’.  But she didn’t want to lie to the woman.  She really had no idea what she was doing, she was as much in the dark as the ferret was.  And it wasn’t happening to her.  She didn’t have room for messups, but the entire situation was taunting at her that there were thousands of them waiting to be launched at her.  

“So, if you wouldn’ t mind, it might help if you keep a diary..sort of a pregnancy journal.”  She felt like an idiot suggesting it, but she couldn’t think of another way to have an accurate record without being there herself.  “Each day, maybe even more than once a day, you can write down how your body feels, how you feel emotionally, if you have any cravings, or aversions…that sort of thing.”  She scrunched her lips together.  “It will give us an idea of where you might be in the pregnancy at any given moment.  Other than that, my only other suggestion would be to keep your iron levels up.”  She turned bright red, and smiled abashedly, “I wouldn’t take the nasty stuff I gave you,” she admitted.  “I’d tell you to buy some iron pills and take them.”

At the mention of the word ‘preggers’, Phoenix burst out laughing, a high, girly sound.  “Oh!” she breathed, “it’s been so long since I’ve heard someone say, ‘preggers’!”  She then realized she was standing in the middle of her own kitchen, letting her first guest ever put her dishes away and cook food, and the guest was pregnant no less.  She’d been standing there, doing nothing!

She shook her head, a look of embarrassment on her face, “Sit down,” she said, waving her hands.  “We can get everything else!  I can get the cobbler!”

* * *

 

“I think that an abandoned apartment sounds like a viable option.” She had more than one reason for gravitating towards that particular choice. The idea of having to contend with other down and outs was in no way appealing. Plus she knew that Gwyn would most likely insist on accompanying her on visits, something that she really didn’t mind, but it meant that anyplace they met regularly had to be safe or could be made safe. Docks and frequented warehouses did not fit that criteria. The privacy and peace of mind would be worth the effort and extra elbow grease. She knew how to use a hammer and nail and, given the expertise she had seen in Aries’ work area, had no doubts that it would be a small thing to fix up a workable space for her needs. **  
**

In the back of her mind the ferret-woman also noted that having a safe spot of her own might be a good thing regardless of the circumstances. Phoenix had shown her that it was possible for mutants to live above ground. Had spoken of many more besides herself that made a go of it. Eliza may be lacking in all the skills needed at the moment, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t learn them. The small but deadly woman had offered to teach her. The idea of sun, fresh air and peace was enough to allow the concept to sink into her heart and mind. To be saved for further examination when the future was less fluid and such options could be considered beyond wishful thinking.

The idea of a pregnancy journal was sound and she readily agreed to it. Inwardly she was comforted by the idea that her pregnancy seemed to be advancing along human parameters. It was no guarantee as to what her child might look like, there was no guarantee in any aspect of this whole thing, but it did give her some hope. If nothing else she could be prepared for the different stages, not only because she had been through it once before, but there was a multitude of resources to draw from, both in print and online.

“I’d actually already had April pick me up some iron pills when she got the honey, along with some general multivitamins.” It was Eliza’s turn to look abashed. “Along with some other general ‘supplies’. When I claimed to have run out necessities she didn’t really question any of my other additions to the grocery list.” The ferret sighed. “The sweet dear even brought me back some chocolates and a pint of ice cream. Yet another person I owe an apology to but I don’t think that she’ll hold it against me for too long. I hope.” She turned back to her friend. “But if you don’t mind I’d still like to take the tea. I think that it might make a good option to have in the fridge with a little sweetener. Besides Yoshi likes his tea as much as he likes his cheese and it might go over well as a peace offering.” she smiled when Phoenix nodded her permission.

Eliza liked the sound of Phoenix’s laugh, it was high and tinkling, not faked or polite, but one of genuine amusement. I made her feel good to have been the cause of such a happy sound. It was sad that she ended it so quickly and shifted into hostess mode. Or perhaps it was more a motherly instinct. Eliza couldn’t quite tell. Still, she felt a tiny bit of annoyance at being told to sit and hand over the duties she had claimed as her own. However they were said with good intentions so she let the moment pass.

“It’s no trouble, really,” she tried to maintain her place but when the healer started to make actual ‘shooing’ motions at her Eliza knew it was a battle not worth fighting. She tossed in the towel, literally. “but if you insist, I guess I could use a break.” She smiled and walked out of the kitchen leaving her cleaning rag on the counter next to the oven.

She twisted her head to look over her shoulder as she leisurely made her way back to the couch. “It needs to cool for another 10 or 15 minutes before it can be served.” She turned back to see her way clearly to the couch. “I’m gonna put my feet up till then if that’s ok.” She heard vaguely affirmative noises and proceeded to stretch out the sagging but still comfortable furniture.

She was thinking about nothing and everything at the same time as she lay there looking up at the industrial ceiling high above. The sun was setting, throwing warm mixed colors across the wide open space. Without being conscious of the movement she found that her hand had gone from laying lax at her side to gently probing her abdomen and lower, trying to find something different, something unusual. She even pulled her shirt up enough to expose her midriff, thinking that maybe there would be a visual indication of her confirmed condition. She gave up and resumed her contemplation of the now orange tinted ceiling, but continued to run her claw tipped fingers through her own exposed pelt, wondering about the miracle growing within her.


End file.
